Good evening ladies,
I just wondered if anyone else feels so humiliated, degraded and fed up of being treated like cattle by nurses and doctors? I've had endo for over ten years (I'm 26) and after a couple of years of being treated like a lunatic by about five different doctors, I finally made a private appointment to see a specialist, who treated me like a human, with respect, and performed a laparoscopy to remove endo almost straight away (which my parents extremely kindly helped me with financially as I had no option other than to have it done privately, because no other doctor believed my symptoms). I had the most amazing year of feeling well and happy and pain free. When it came back, I went to see her again and she said as I have known endo she could do the op on the NHS (she is one of the leading specialists in the area, so I only want her to do it, plus I massively trust her). I agreed because it's a lot of money plus I needed two MRI scans this time, and I am certainly not a snob, but every single thing has been a fight. I am so, so poorly, and exhausted, and everything just seems too much I.e. I have endo on my diaphragm so she specifically asked for me to have pelvic and diaphragm MRI scans.... they had forgotten to refer me for MRI scans in the first place, then when I got there finally they only had instructions to scan my pelvis. It was literally only because I broke down crying with exasperation and exhaustion that they scanned my diaphragm. And that was just one in a long list of things that I've had to query/ chase/ ask about....
Up until Friday, I was nervous about the op because it's not pleasant, despite the amazing results. But now I am utterly, utterly petrified and angry - I had my pre op assessment on Friday and how they treated me has just left me so upset I just don't want to go near the place. The nurse treated me like an imbecile. It was dirty. I felt so humiliated, she didn't believe anything I said - I had to justify everything - why I take strong anti nausea meds normally cancer patients have, because I have such severe nausea, the tiniest movement like reaching over for a glass of water can cause me to vomit sometimes. I had checked that I had 'unexplained weight loss' on my questionnaire, so I was interrogated as to why I couldn't explain why I had lost weight (over a stone and a half since the endo symptoms started again). Then she asked me to open my mouth, and then made such a big deal that I couldn't open it further, and measured my open mouth with a measuring tape??? I just felt so degraded. The nurse who took my blood didn't speak to me, look at me, or tell me when the needle was going in. She literally just stuck the needle in. I've had a lot of blood taken, they always say 'just a sharp scratch!'??? The arm rest was filthy, it had grease from other people's skin on it. I won't go on, but this is just a couple of things that happened.
Anyway I came out crying (and in a lot of pain) and now I am so terrified about being under their care in this hospital. I'm going to be completely vulnerable and I just think they will have no respect for my dignity or how I might be feeling. Has anyone else had similar experiences or just feel sick at the thought having to go back to hospital after the attitudes of staff? I have now gone from worried to utterly, utterly terrified. And not about the operation, just about being in that hospital. The op is on Tuesday and I am beside myself.
Any words of reassurance or similar stories much appreciated, thanks xxxxx