Festival

After deciding I'm not well enough to go to the Stone Roses concert with my boyfriend. The second plan is to go to Lytham festival with him and his friend in August, to see Noel Gallagher.

It took a lot of mulling over, and I finally came to the decision that I will go. But once I agreed to go, I didn't feel any relief or excitement. I just feel a bit wary and scared. Wondering if I made the right decision. I understand it will be tough standing for a long time with lots of people around me. But my anxiety seems to be getting in the way a lot recently, so I want to try and push myself out of my comfort zone. I have the reassurance that my boyfriend will look after me, and if it's all too much my dad is only 10 minutes drive away, so he will come and pick me up. But my instincts tell me to play it safe, and I'm trying my best to just go with the flow for once, but I'm doing it with great difficulty.

To anyone else, going to a concert wouldn't be such a big decision, but as always, I feel torn and end up fighting against myself. Mainly because of the anxiety and depression. And also because of the possible endo pains. I have said I will go, but keep doubting myself.

Has anyone else experienced a similar dilemma based on their illnesses? I would appreciate any advice. Thanks :)

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  • I recently have stopped going to do normal things going for meal out, seeing friends and just want to stay in because of my pain. I have lost a lot of confidence but today I have have come to the conclusion  that this is not helping. I say go we have to stop this disease ruling our lives. Take your painkillers before you go take some water or another  drink with you so you don't get dehydrated and try and enjoy it. If it's too much sit down for a while most places you can find somewhere to sit and then try again, if it's too much then at least you have tried and not sat at home whilst everyone else is enjoying life. Even if you go for a couple of hours and then go home early you may even enjoy it. Take care and good luck.

  • I empathise with you, as I am the same. I always cancel on plans to go out with friends or for meals. And I too have lost a lot of confidence. I sometimes feel like I'm not me anymore, and I'm just a shell. But yeah, at least I will have given it my best go.

    Thanks :)

  • Hi Jess, believe it or not I get like that all the time . Even just going into town is really hard or when work gets really busy. I really don't like being in crowded places, hence like you I don't go out much. But still I do try, and that's all we can do . Hope you're ok.

  • Same here, crowded places put me on edge, which is usually when I'm most likely go get pains, because I become so nervous and stressed. It's been made worse by me being in Wales and having nowhere to go out and nobody to see for months on end. But yeah, I guess keep trying is the best we can do.

    Thanks, I hope you're ok too :)

  • Hi Jess, not doing so well at the moment, I've managed to bring my follow up forward to Thursday as my bladder issues are getting worse and I'm constantly in pain with it along with sharp stabbing pains in vagina. I'm also not sleeping and crying a lot and the hot flushes have become horrendous. I'm hope with regards to the later he will agree to start hrt now rather than a couple more months., and hopefully it will help. 

    Any news on the house front?

  • Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you get a solution when you go on Thursday. And I hope things get sorted for you soon. Keep me updated.

    And not too good. Everything fell through, so we're back at the beginning with having to put our house on the market again and sell it again. We've had about 3 viewings so far, but nobody wants it.

  • You'll get there.  Will let you know how I get on.

  • Hi Jess, I know exactly how you feel. I have missed trips out too and meals with friends. It's so frustrating. I was just thinking that there should be a First Aid tent at the festival so if you needed a sit down/rest away from the crowds then I am sure the first aiders would look after you.  Good luck. :)

  • Yep always a chill out tent and a st johns ambulance tent, go in and explain and you can have a lie down for a bit and a soft drink, they are always amazing! x

  • That's a good idea. I will probably be taking a small bag for water and painkillers. So I'm thinking I might ask for a sick note off my doctor, closer to the time, so if I'm in pain I can just show the note.

    Thanks :)

  • Oh thank you for telling me. I didn't know. But that makes me feel happier about going, knowing I can rest if I need to :)

  • Hi jess 

    Hope you and katrina,  Jean are ok.

    I echo what you say and what the lovely ladies say. I ended up leaving a good job after three days due to anxiety. Couldn't handle crowds and pple but in the long run it was for the best.

    It has taken a long time for me to realise you don't have to be out all the time. But it's hard as u can shrink your life and social circle and despite my efforts I do still feel I'm doing things for others and not myself. Key example me driving or travelling to them and not the other way or doing what they want to do and not me. 

    But I do go to Glastonbury every year. I have had some less than fun years where I have thought no more but that's usually been cos of my state of mind and depression or no mates going. I go with my dad and sister. They often have more friends then I do go nowadays. I usually know no one so that's been hard as when I was with a group then ur mood lifts and u can focus on fun more. 

    But I have and we have started doing things to help as my pain is worse. I also have vulvodynia which is a painful vulva so anything I do is painful. Right now my fanny is on fire and I'm making my way into work. 

    So my tips yes use the first aid tents. U can look on their website and contact them with ur needs. So mine is a hot water bottle refill every nite to ease the legs and glutes pains. Then I use tens machine for pain relief. I take things I can sit on regardless of the ground. We get parking near the festival and tent so less walk. We pay for this as u have a tent already put up and hot showers. Which all helps. This year I'm planning on cold compresses so need first aid tents. 

    U don't need to be in the crowds to enjoy used.  Hang back to have space to lie out. 

    Clothing. Think about what ur comfortable in and layers.

    Get your boyfriend to massage you each day!! 

    I take natracare wipes for the toilets to wipe rather than relying on loo roll.

    Treat and reward urself with an ice cream.

    Book urself a massage (hot stone) for day u return. Helps so much.

    And yep use ur dad if need be. I got picked up early from Reading the year I went.

    Hope this helps x

  • I agree. My state of mind also has an impact on what I'm doing, or what I want to do.

    I hope you're ok. Thank you for your advice :) I appreciate it.

  • Hi Jess,

    I completely understand how you feel, myself and my boyfriend go to several gigs and I've lost count of the amount that I've missed due to the illness and also anxiety. It's such a difficult one because by not going I just seem to still get anxious because I've not gone and that makes the pain worse! It's like a vicious cycle! However I've recently started counselling for the anxiety and the illness and she keeps saying how I should 'face the fear' which is harder than it sounds but I'm trying to do lots of little things to build my confidence up. Coldplay, Beyoncé and Leeds fest are my goals for the next few months! 

    I can assure you though that you are not alone with feeling this way, I would definitely recommend building yourself up to it with manageable steps which will build your confidence. Just things like going for coffee or going for a drive somewhere unfamiliar are things I've tried 😊

    Keep smiling 😊

  • My anxiety gets in the way a lot too. I've never been to any concerts before, but it stops me from doing things I'd like to do. I'm sorry that you've had to miss out. But same here, I also get anxious about things I've not done and it too gives me more pain.

    I'm on the list for counselling, but there's a long wait. The thought of the 'face the fear' method terrifies me, but I guess I am in control of what I'm facing so I agree, starting small sounds alright.

    I love Coldplay! Maybe if I manage well at the Lytham Festival, I might feel like I could give a Coldplay concert a go. I've always wanted to see them.

    Thank you for your advice :)

  • I just wanted to say the support you're getting on here has really warmed my heart :) 

    These days I am lucky that Endo only affects me badly one week a month but it's so bad then I can't leave my bedroom never mind the house so I always have to not plan anything that week and it's guaranteed that's the week there are gigs/festivals I want to go to, weddings and birthdays missed. It's tough. 

    When I was younger it could hit me anytime and I've had numerous experiences of the pain getting bad at festivals and gigs. Having to sit down at the back and take codeine and sip water.  In the past year, due to separate issues, I've had a lot of difficulties with anxiety and depression so I can imagine how tough it is dealing with both at the same time. The support plan you have in place is amazing though. Someone with you who understands and your dad being able to collect you - the best. 

    Getting a letter from your dr sounds like a great idea. It's certainly easier than attempting to explain to the first aid people while in the throes of Endo! Definitely take painkillers and water with you and anything else you find useful at home. A little Endo bag. Heat pads may be a good idea. The day they produce a hot water bottle that stays hot all day will be a happy day for me! What about seeing if you can purchase a pop-up chair? Something light and easily transportable but much needed comfort if needed. Or alternatively, take a piece of clothing you could sit on to make the ground more comfortable. And wear comfortable clothing - nothing that presses on the abdomen. 

    I think it's great you're going to give it a go. I don't know if your dr prescribes diazepam for your anxiety but if so it might be good to take one before you arrive. Busy places set my anxiety off but a diazepam, excitement at being there and having the security of your Endo plan will surely help. 

    For a big gig like that you really don't need to be at the front. Just chill, find yourself a good viewing spot and a comfy piece of ground. If you end up feeling able and you do want to go near the front my advice is go far out to the left and work your way round to the edge near the front. That way you have a relatively easy escape route if needed :)

    Good luck and I hope you have a brilliant time xx

  • I agree. The support on here is great. Thank you for all of your advice. It's very helpful. I'm sorry to hear about your pain and it making you miss out on things, and I understand how you feel.

    Yes, I plan on taking a small bag. I drink a lot of water. And I put bottles of water in the freezer so it's extra cold, so I'll definitely be taking some ice water with me. And painkillers and the other tablets I need. I hope to be well prepared haha

    I'm on Citalopram for my anxiety and depression. Been on it for quite a few months now, but there hasn't been any change. So my doctor has suggested counselling. So I'm going to give that a try, but there's a long waiting list. So I'll just have to hope I'm ok. But yeah, I plan on staying where it's less crowded. It's in August, so I've got a while yet, but me being a worrier, I like to plan and prepare to ensure I'm as comfortable as can be haha

    Thank you :)

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