Hormonal and emotional

[xnanookx]

This last week has been horrible, the worst flare up joined by a strange period and tonight, the end of my period I hope and I'm properly choked up I just want to cry and I don't know why! 

It all started when I was just scrolling through fb and one of my friends had reacted to post about animal abuse. I ask all the time for people not to do it, I'm an animal lover it breaks my heart to see all the darkness in the world, people are depraved, dirty, disgusting, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt an animal I'm pro-life, I can't help it I'd be one of those people stood outside the death chamber protesting for the person society condemned, thank god I'm not American I like watching the formula one of a weekend haha but really I just can't wrap my head around it. I digress, this post was about a 'lady' and I use that word lightly, she killed 8 puppies in front of their mother 'to teach her a lesson' and there was pictures of a row of dead puppies and then the mum.

I just cannot cry coz if I do I won't stop  

I hate being this down, I can see my bf glancing at me already, I hate that he thinks I'm sad for real, the words I've chosen thus far just haven't done justice for how little my emotional state is anything to do with him and it makes it worse coz I feel guilty for making him feel some how at fault.

My abdomen is so tender, the bloating is going down and it hurts so much more than when it comes up, I've been constipated for a few days and each time I try it makes my intestines hurt really bad, the pressure on the nodule and ovary is intense the spasms in my bum are accompanied by a burning sensation through my whole bowel and I feel like I'm getting stiff joints again, I'm dreading waking up tomorrow is looking like a bad day and its not even bed time yet, I'm expecting a headache again I can feel it in my shoulder and neck xx