I am 29 years old and got married this year. I had surgery for endo three years ago which was on my bowel and some on my ovaries. I was put on cerazette and that stopped my periods completely and everything seemed to be going well.
Once I got married all I could think about was starting a family and although I knew I would have to work it through with my GP who was concerned about me being off the pill for any length of time, I thought that as the endo was removed I should be clear to conceive.
By some cruel twist of fate my symptoms for endo started to reoccur not long after the wedding and I have now been referred to an endo clinic for further treatment. But that isn't the only pit-fall as I am also taking citalopram for anxiety and depression and my GP wont take me off it until he thinks I am able to cope with the possible complications in ttc. I just feel as though I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and everywhere I turn there is something stopping me having a baby.
I am not a patient person by nature and I am surrounded by pregnant people and new babies especially at work. It breaks my heart every time I have to fake a smile and oooh and aww at pictures when I am so jealous and resentful that it was all so easy for them and I may never get my chance.
I know that I haven't had infertility confirmed but from the way every one is talking even if it is scientifically possible I may never be mentally strong enough to start trying.
I don't know what to do. Obviously I need to wait as all may be fine and I am worrying for nothing (one of my traits) but in the meantime no one around me seems to understand how hard it is to deal with day-to-day. My hubby is an eternal optimist and believes that our time will come but he doesn't know that and neither do I. He doesn't seem to think that because infertility is common with endo sufferers and with my depression/anxiety etc that this would be a problem for me. But all I can think that with my track record it's likely to be the opposite.
Just need to write this down to get it out of my head for a while as it is futile discussing it with anyone else....