Absolutely devistated!

2 years ago today I had my lap and was told I wouldn't conceive naturally, but if by some miracle I did it would most likely be ectopic.... Well on Tuesday i found out I was pregnant.... I tried my hardest not to get my hopes up, I got booked in for my early pregnancy scan ect but I wasn't feeling any pains so my hopes started to rise even though I knew better than to let it happen, when I got up this morning I had a little bit of blood when I wiped..... After 8 hours at the hospital I was told I had lost the baby..... Now I don't know what to do, part of me feels like this was my only chance and I ruined it, (I had been drinking a lot over Halloween ect and had a shocking diet) and the other part of me wonders if I will be lucky enough for Me to fall again, but at the same time thr thought of it terrifies me, do I start using protection with my partner or just let nature run its course. I know it's to soon to be thinking of this but I think my mind is trying to cling to what hope it can

10 Replies

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  • I'm so so sorry for your loss. Could you go through Ivf or have help through fertility to conceive again? Sending hugs X

  • I'm so sorry for your loss, don't blame yourself unfortunatly we are at high risk of miscarriage i had one last year exactly the same as you, i'd been trying for three years. There is hope i have always been told i would never conceive naturally and was waiting for icsi when i found out i was pregnant naturally i now have a healthy four year old. Keep trying have you refered fir ivf. Good luck.xx

  • I'm not entitled to ivf on the nhs as I have a 6 year old (to a previous partner), I think because I had her quiet young and had ałways been on the pill or injection until I had her I managed to have her before the endo blocked my tubes, we've been trying to save up but my partner also has a child so trying to save up while giving those two everything they need is hard, I know I should be grateful that I already have a healthy child but all I ever wanted from being little was a big house with lots of children running around driving me nuts, and we want one together

  • 1 miscarriage....2nd trimester. 2 boys...now 11 and 12. One daughter now 18. Endo classed stage 4 with severe adhesions from diaphragm to pelvic girdle. Devastating is exactly the word. I still mourn. But.....I was told no kids ever....don't even bond with daughter as I wouldn't carry. Hmmmm....seems like not everything they predict is true. Both fallopian tubes sealed shut. 3 children without anything fancy or even trying. Boys? Exactly one year and two hours apart. Grieve.....it hurts and for me....still does. I have my ways of holding onto the memory and spirit of that wonderful little life. The thoughtless words that initially struck hard have been forgotten over the years. I've been there for others and was surprised at how my own experience still feels fresh. I will never forget that little one.....and kiss the children we do have even more. I think in a way we are far more appreciative parents as a result. Hold yourself....and please don't lose hope. I did.....and didn't need to.

  • I can imagine how you feel. In my opinion, I would say you should keep trying. At the end of the day miracles happen and you can testify to one. If you want children, please keep trying and most definitely you would get pregnant again and have your baby. Also, if you cannot wait to get pregnant naturally then you can ask your doc what other means they advice.

    Cheer up ok.

  • My heart breaks for you, truly.

    You cannot blame yourself as you weren't to know you were pregnant at the time of drinking etc.

    Personally, I would come off contraceptive and if it happens, it happens. It all depends on what you and your partner want but dont put pressure on yourself or you will go crazy everytime you get a period.

    Easier said than done i know :(

    Wish you all the luck xxx

  • Thank you I haven't been on contraception for years, didn't see any point when I was told no chance! I have spoke to my partner about whether he wants me to go on it now or not, and his agreed that once I've healed we will start trying properly, no more drinking and better diet for me!

  • If it helps, my friend was told she would never have children, shes never tried but she is due in 3 weeks! God luck! Xx

  • Good luck*

  • Thanks for the support everyone, it's been really hard coming to terms with it, the more I think about it the more I think it may have actually been ectopic... The few days befor I found out I was doubled over in pain with my left side, didn't think much to it, then when I had my scan the woman said that I had fluid near my left tube which is a sign of ectopic but there wasn't enough fluid for how far along I should have been, but because the levels of hcg were so low on Friday I think I had already been loosing the baby when I found out I was preg, going to let myself recover then get booked in to talk to the dr since they ever bothered to make me any follow up appointments to make sure I'm ok! X

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