Boyfriend off sex

[bellsa55]

Hi girl's...

I've recently undergone a laparoscopy to remove endometriosis, and had coil fitted (which I'm still unsure of). But my oh seems to have gone off me completely. He's affectionate and doing all he can to help me, but any time I try it on with him (sorry tmi) he subtly pushes me off.

What am I to do?

[Mcmonkeynuts]

Hi

I had this difficult conversation with my oh after a D & C and admittance for post surgery infection a few years ago (haven't even thought about sex since my laproscopy two weeks ago as still sore so may be a problem again!).

I am sure your oh still finds you as beautiful as ever but is maybe concerned about hurting you.....

I kept trying it on with my oh to also be rejected which just added to the cocktail of negative feelings I had. I broke down in tears one day and asked why oh didn't find me attractive anymore etc. oh explained she (I'm gay) didn't want to hurt me, or make me feel pressurised into sex before I was ready, was really scared at times watching and caring for me and although really wanted sex thought was doing the right thing by turning me down at that point. I think it shook her up seeing my in hospital more than I realised. I agreed I would not try it on until I was 100% sure I was ready, we would go slow and she had nothing to worry about. Maybe a week later I got a new dress, had loads of confidence and went on a brilliant date night and all was well again.

I think it can be a tough journey for oh's too... So my advice would be to chat to him about it... Air your concerns and listen to his. I am certain he still finds you just as attractive as before but is just concerned.

X

[bellsa55 in reply to Mcmonkeynuts]

Thank you for that... I guess it's just insecurity on my behalf. I know my op and diagnostic of endometriosis has scared him for lack of a better word. I feel he's googled it and rather than spoke about it just panicked.

Still, it hurts that he isn't as all over me as he usually is. Even in social situations at the moment, he's very distant.

But thanks you again for replying x

[Mcmonkeynuts in reply to bellsa55]

Same sit here... I was only diagnosed and treated for endo during my laproscopy two weeks ago and find oh reading websites and not chatting to me.......... I guess some might argue it is nice they are researching it in attempt to support?

Def talk to him, I'm sure he just doesn't want to hurt you and is maybe a bit shook up too.

I'm not sure if it is just hormones but I am very insecure at the moment about everything! I think it's perfectly normal.

Hope you feel better soon and a good chat resolves everything.

X

[Mindstorm]

Know how you feel. My OH is really worried about me hurting as there have been a few instances where we have been intimate and then hours later I have a pain flare. He is concerned the two are linked and finds it off-putting.

[bellsa55]

Tried a conversation and he literally ran away... Trotted off down the stairs and into the garden. What a wally!!

We've since discussed matters, nothing resolved but he is being more affectionate.

Told him hes missed his chance anyways as the coil is now making my body do stupid stuff.

Xx

[bellsa55]

So... A fortnight on and he still refuses me 😔

Since issues with coil I'm now on tablets which stopped all the bleeding (happy days)

However... Even a hint at sex has him pulling a face. I'm absolutely crushed. He's telling me it's nothing to do with me, he just isn't feeling it.

I feel so rejected by him and now I'm thinking that it's because I look horrendous. All's well apart from this issue, and before op he was always all over me.

Any suggestions... Please ???

Xx