Going to be very frank. I got married at 24 and my husband has been my only sexual partner. Sex has never been not painful, it's been less and more but never enjoyable. DH does do oral on me but is not really keen for me to return the favour. So our sex life is not very satisfying for him and it's very few and far between, I don't know if I have a naturally low libido or if the pain and fatigue just makes it all too much like hard work to bother with. DH deals most of the time.. And then like last night he gets really frustrated and cross about it.

Anyone else have these sorts of issues?

7 Replies

  • Hi darling, I'll think your find alot of us do on here, I use to enjoy sex, but not any more, I still get the urge, but the thought of pain the next day has a way of removing that urge quite quickly, I'm in daily pain now so wouldn't make much difference, and as long as we use lubricant it isn't too bad during just the odd sharp pain when he goes deep, (sorry) that makes me jump and nearly hit the ceiling, I don't orgazum easily on penetration either, certainly no Mr grey action happening here, lol.

    Do you get pain? Defo use lubricant jelly,

    Good luck and remember men do need sex to thrive and most men have low self esteem and sex helps that and the relationship, maybe try a few different possitions to see if one is better than others, I've got a tilted womb so good old straight forward him on top works best for us.

  • We have been married for 15 years and in that time have tried most positions :( as you say deep is worse..

  • Have you been referred back to gyne yet, I remenber a few weeks ago you was fighting with Gp for referral ,

    I'm 39 and have 3 sons, too

    Where are you in country

  • Hi, yes got referral as I also have cervical erosion and they will freeze this off (!). I am in Aberdeenshire

  • I'm In a similar position where I've lost all of my confidence and sex just scares me tbh. I can't bear the pain afterwards. But I'm worried my partner might leave me cos of it if I'm not careful. I just feel completely useless at it xx

  • i have been married 44 years i am 62 years old male and have parkinson's

    my wife and i have been faith full all these years we used ky for 25 years to ease the pain we had sex 2 to 4 times a week we love and adore each other i tell her my desires and tries to help me explore them. she don't need to tell me hers i have satisfied all of hers

    she has at least 4 to five orgasms every time we have sex. we stopped using the ky and she does not get very sore any more i preform oral sex on her to orgasm every time we have sex and she returns the favor but not to orgasm. She has double orgasms vaginal and cliteral at the same time we enjoy sex with each other because we love and respect each other

    Two years ago she became a lot more aggressive and lady parts became larger may have been meds i was own she was handling them so then we were having sex 2 to 4 times a day 5 or 6 times a week her to orgasm 10 or more times a day

    it was fun but almost killed me this was the norm for about 18 months

    we are back to 3 to 5 times a week

    and loving life

    i tell this not to make anyone feel bad just to show that everyone is different

  • Hi there I used to enjoy sex never any problems , my husband is also my only sexual partner, it started as a discomfort and gradually got worse over about two years , in January I had my endo excised which has helped make the pain less intense but is still there, Im 20 , I don't really feel like having sex all that much because it's not that enjoyable , it hurts , a lot , aside from this I feel tiered most of the time , and I don't know about you but I got some vitamins just general a-z and my energy really has picked up, with the pain side of things no pain killers work, lubrication isn't a problem , it's just that horrible dull intense stabbing deep in my stomach during Intercourse. Your not alone , don't ever feel like you are, it's gotten me really down at times because I'm young and I have to accept this is forever, and so does my husband , I feel for the men also because sex has to be all about us in a sense, how we want it , we can't do this position or that position, ect ect without being too graphic, although they don't feel the physical pain they do feel the mental some ways - or at least they pick up on our feelings . They can't begin to comprehend the pain we feel or the frustration or sadness, I've had to sit down and explain to my husband every tiny detail how it feels how I feel how I need his support , and that I understand it is hard for him to , one of the things he said is that sometimes he doesn't want to have sex for fear of hurting me. Unfortunately for sex there isn't that many options surgery , pain killers are about as far as it goes - if they even help, I don't know if you have tried the pill/s or the mirena coil , as it's supposed to work wonders for some women, you should definatley talk to your consultant , and see what they can offer you , or surgery if you haven't all ready had it . Good luck I hope we all find a solution one day x

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