Hi Kat, first of all I'm so sorry to hear how bad you've been feeling. That is terrible and a very difficult thing to go through. I've been ill for a while now and I'm still undiagnosed, but my GP suspects Endometriosis and an autoimmune disease and I'm seeing a gynaecologist this week.
As I'm undiagnosed I can't offer much help or insight into the surgery side of things. But I completely know what you are feeling. Being ill all the time makes me feel depressed and kills my self esteem. I'm constantly bloated and tired and in pain.
I think the best thing to do is not feel guilty. What's happening to you isn't normal, just like Impatient said. It's also not fair! So you need to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to rest and feel better. I'd definitely see your doctor for a double appointment. I've already been warned that depression and anxiety can come as a result of illness and surgery.
Some days I feel so sad and fed up and angry at having to deal with all this. I see my friends having fun and being healthy and enjoying their bodies, having tons of energy and getting on with life. That makes me feel sad because I'm 21 but feel so unhealthy and in pain, I get so fed up. No one I know really understands the pain and the tiredness. What I want to say is that you are not alone. There are GP's that can help you and support groups. Online I've found so many people who are ill like me, all helping each other and trying to feel better. I've found videos of endometriosis sufferers explaining their symptoms and I share that with my boyfriend and family. They then see how others are suffering just like me, and it helps them understand.
Finding something active that you can do, like a sport or a dance class, would be great. I'm a comedy performer and live for my workshops and shows. To just be active and do something physical (but not too physical as I'm often in pain!) really lets me blow off steam and just forget about being ill. It also makes me feel happy for not letting whatever is wrong with me get me down! Everyone has good and bad days. Don't beat yourself up, ask for help, be proud of yourself for handling things and don't feel bad when it gets too much. Push doctors for answers and put your health first.
I hope you feel better really soon xxx