Alone completely

Alone completely

I am in a bad place I'm completely alone All my life I have done for others and now I need a little emotional support,perhaps .someone to check in on me in case I was dead and it's like I'm forgotten. I think about moving to another town maybe Florida .Once my grandmother said she was waiting to die she was 88 though I'm 55 I used to be a outgoing till my husband died I was always the one that helped if they needed money or sit with grandchildren when little now they are all grown with their own friends and my son is successful and worse of all he is the most selfish person on earth it kills me to admit it but its true

if i didnt know where i would spend eternity I would end this .

30 Replies

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  • I'm so sorry to hear you area feeling this way. How long have you been on you own?

  • 2 years

  • That's must feel like forever, my husband is 12 years older than me and I often worry about being left alone. I'm scared i wouldn' cope. Do you have friends, I mean good friends that you could have fun with, laugh with? If not you could find a pastime that would help you meet people. I was a single mother after my divorce years ago and even though it was my choice, the loneliness was awful, I joined a gym, and started taking fitness classes. It took a few years but eventually I found a few friends that are still very close to me now. Building relationships unfortunately takes time, but worth the wait.

    It's disappointing that your son doesn't find time for you, my son is 17 and already I'm lucky to see him pass through the living room with a grunt as hello. I'm under no illusion that I'll be his last priority.

    Struggling with depression as I have all my life, it's so sad to hear your struggling as i know how bad these feelings can get, this may seem like the end of your life some days but trust me that it's just on pause, until your strong enough for the next chapter. I'm sure your husband would not want this for you. I don't want this for you.

    Who were you before you became a we? Find that person and do things for you for a change, as for the people you have helped, be proud of your selflessness, but draw a line under it for now, all your energy needs to be for you now.

    Sending you virtual hugs.

    X

  • Hello,

    You are not alone, love to check on you and bring a smile to your beautiful soul.

  • actually in tears today

  • Sending you love light and cuddles

  • Hello,

    How are you today beautiful soul?

  • Hi there im sorry to see your so down you may think your alone but you can count on people on here as friends ! Your a beautiful lady have you ever tried getting out into different places and maybe meet someone im sure your family would like to see you happy ! Have you thought about sports or hiking as a way of getting out into the world ! I wish you well take care david

  • You are a beautiful looking lady and obviously beautiful inside too. You have given to others, now it’s time you did things for yourself. I too have a very selfish son but I’ve realised we can’t rely on our children to make us happy. If you have thought about relocating, I think you should choose a place that isn’t a city. Somewhere you could get out and join things, where it’s easier to make friendships. Do you work? Would finding a new job in a new place be a problem? How long have you been widowed? I’m 65 and only yesterday I had a new neighbour make a verbal pass at me – I was so shocked! If you would like to start dating, I’m sure the men would be flocking to you! However you need female friends so you can go out for meals, to the cinema, join classes etc. Big hugs

  • I live in the country and yes I'm thinking about selling everything I have and moving away.Ive been in tears most of the day I have to do something

  • I can relate to your feelings 100%!!! I'm sorry you are going through this because I know first hand how painful it is.

    I keep pushing through each day and trying many hardest but sometimes I feel as if I'm honestly losing my mind and it's really scary.

    I have to get a new vehicle and need the support to get up and go do this, I broke down to my oldest son telling how I was feeling and how sick I am. It took a great deal of courage opening up like I did, I honestly feel he knows exactly what I'm going through but chooses to go about his life being extremely self centered pretending he does not know what's going on with me. Anyway the next day he came to pick me up to help me get a car, the majority of the time he was texting and complaining how being at the dealer was messing up his day. I confronted him about this and he assured me he was not upset and I was not a burden. The deal fell through at this dealer and we left because I had work and he had errands. I assumed he was going to do this with me until I found someone able to finance my current lease or get a new car. My credit has declined due to my depression and anxiety and there have been times which I couldn't work and it's all increasing my depression and the anxiety factor is through the roof!

    Our Family has very quickly suffered deaths of 4 very close members and my Mom had Alzheimer's do it's as if she is gone too. Please don't misinterpret my words I am thankful she is still here with us, she is totally different making it impossible to have conversations or get one of her pep talks that were ever so helpful.

    There are MANY times I've thought like you where I just wished I wasn't here any longer because it's too too painful and so very lonely.

    I will pray for you to have some relief from your pain and I hope you smile once again!

    Peace to You <3

  • I do feel for you. I wish there wasn't just a "like" button on here. it needs updating like faceboook.

    X

    Sue

  • Maybe you're still grieving and feeling alone is part of that I'm sure . We givers in the world are happiest when we are serving others and there is nothing we can do about that. Wait until you're feeling better before you think of moving it could just be a knee jerk reaction .

    Have you anywhere you could help out like a church hall serving coffees woman's refuge anything to get contact with people , here if you need to chat ,sending you a hug xx😇

  • I think a lot of children today are selfish , it seems to be the way with a lot of children I'm afraid and as I say to one of my friends another giver , I say stop being so available show them you have a life iof you're own . Most people on any of the communities feel like they don't want to go on , I'm a Christian so although I have felt like this I wouldn't act on it . Take care go see you're dr . Xx😇

  • I saw my Doc prosaic and Xanax which one does nothing and one knocks me out that's really all they can do

  • I can't take Prozac it makes my restless legs go to another level .I need xanax I never sleep ..Now what they are telling you my hub says is rubbish ,he is a mental health modern matron and he knows more than gp s in fact when his mum was depressed the doctor asked him what he would give her .They are many other antidepressants.Go back until you get some help .xx

  • Sorry to interior a chat, I have tried many antidepressants and the only only one which works for me is Venlaflaxine, it gives me energy as well as controlling depression.

    X

  • *Interupt*

  • I am exactly were you are so can feel your pain,feel SO ALONE!x

  • Hiya,

    It comes to us all - all our offspring grow up and grow apart from us - that means you've done a good job! Im so sorry to hear about your husband - now would be the time for the two of you. Instead, you have to cultivate some good friends. Join some clubs that involve an interest you enjoy. It might be sewing, sailing, flower arranging, badminton, anything you like. Then you meet likeminded people. They might arrange trips too.

    Please, always count on us as friends too. We may be miles apart but we are only the click of a mouse away.

    Much love to you x

    Sue

  • Hello

    Reading your post it's clear how strong and brave you are. Reaching out when you feel at your absolute lowest is such a wonderful thing you have done - please take courage from this.

    I am so sorry you're feeling so low. Please believe in yourself and how you are feeling. You sound as if you have so much to give. It sounds like a very lonely place to be, but looking at the replies, there are real people on here, very willing to hear you and help you to where you want, or need to be. There will be others along your way too. Just when I lose hope, something appears that I didn't expect. I just have to keep the hope to keep looking.

    You are worth a lot and I firmly believe that there will be people there in your local community, and here, or wherever you decide to move, that will see you and get to know you as you really are.

    I can empathise with the desire to find what you need - please go gently with yourself and care for your own self as you have done so far and how your husband and others did and have. I wish I was close enough to just pop in and have a chat from time to time - we all need this and some help to get through the dips that life throws at us. Matrix said it - sounds like you are grieving still. You have every right to feel this - and tears hopefully are letting these feelings out.

    Take as much advice as you can. If you can give yourself the time to think about what you can do - use us and whoever you can to talk things through - what you hope, what you want, what you don't want. If something feels wrong, try to trust your instinct. Protect yourself and remember you are worth care and attention, and you will get there.

    Take heart, and sending best wishes from across the pond

    XXX

  • I don't know how to reply except thank u

  • You're very welcome :-)

  • Hello. You have a nice smile. Sorry just popping in.

  • I wish we lived near each other. I am pretty much alone and could really do with a good friend like you. So sorry about your husband. X

  • Hi aaustinintexas

    My word good lady you have really been down the wrong side , dont you have anyone to chat to ? I think it's always worse when you have given so much help over the time and then when you need some ?

    But you must be strong and think about when things get better and it will .

    Yiou can chat if you feel it would help log on to my profile .

    Keep in touch it's good to talk

    Graham

  • Hello you beautiful person.

    I am sad for loss. It's not easy for anyone to go through regardless of there state of mind. 2 years is not that long for any grieving period. I separated 3 years ago. It may as been yesterday for the pain I feel. Depression doesn't help us grieve. It likes us to isolate our selves. To sit in the corner and scream at the world to stop spinning so as we can get off.

    You said you were sociable before your husband died. Where have these sociable people and occasions gone that you mixed with? ??

    You have characteristically described so many things upsetting you right now, which for anyone it would be an impossible task to tackle all at once.

    I've had to take the impossible tasks and break them down into tricky jobs. (Bite sized). Then we can see our priorities to fix. We need to take one at a time and go forward with that one. The next and so on.

    It's not easy. I won't kid you. But the saying goes. Every journey starts with the first step. No matter how big that step is.

    Depression, loneliness, anxiety, they as illnesses want us to succumb to them.

    There are plenty of us all going through the same or similar experiences. Your not alone. Pick up your phone/pc and text. Someone will answer.

    Your a beautiful person and have a beautiful heart.

    Comeback and chat some more.

    All the best x

  • I'm going to take your advice today I am going to plant some flower seeds and thank y'all for all the understanding and encouragement i have wanted to sleep for these days but it's getting to the point of I'm feeling ashamed of myself and I think that's a good thing though so I'm going to do one thing positive

  • That's really good to hear.

    Remember you haven't done anything wrong to feel ashamed about. It's no different from a physical injury. It's real..

    Please do keep in touch? We are always here fighting our own demons. So let's do it together.

    Good luck.

    X

  • Ditto pifrus! It sounds like you need rest and care and there's nothing at all to be ashamed about. Please let yourself sleep if you need. Very pleased about the seed planting :-) x

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