serious need of help

this is something i have no idea how to deal with . if there anyone who has any clue about how to live with this i'd be very grateful if they shared that !

i live in a country in the middle east. parents there believe that a good girl should never stay out late. My parents are one of those people. you can escape this either by travelling or getting married ! i don't want either of these things, i want to live my youth not be buried at home ! i tried to talk to my mom so many times and there is no result. she starts saying things like oh my daughter isn't well raised and oh go do whatever you want but don't speak to me ever again ! it's impossible to talk to her !!!

i'm 21 right now. i won't be marrying anytime soon and i don't really have potential to get a job and move out or even have a chance to travel.... so how am i suppose to live like this because of this unlogical ideas ?

7 Replies

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  • Hi I sympathise with you but as I'm not from the Middle East I have very little idea of your culture. I do know though that I don't believe in double standards and I would find it very hard to live like you have to. I left home at 18 to live my life the way I chose and in the UK women can do what the hell they like the same as men.

    I don't have any answers except to say is why don't you have the potential to get a job? Maybe you could get more education or training so you do? It seems if you ever want your freedom you are going to have to leave home somehow. Do you have any other relatives you could stay with who might let you have more of your own life?

    Other than that I can't help I'm afraid but I wish you luck.

  • our culture sucks !!! they believe a well raised girl shouldn't be out at night lol ! but i guess i have to kind of deal with it

  • Yes but it is women like you who can work to make changes so the future female generations as well as your own can have more freedom. You with all the other women who feel the same are pioneers, and I salute you.

    Hannah is right. Leave as soon as you can and make your own life. Stuff your male chauvinistic culture and live your life the way you want and deserve to do.

  • Hi there why don't you travel , try not to figh with your parents but quietly make your own life. Lots of people from your culture move away as they cannot put up with this way of life. Are you a student. ?

    Hannah

  • i thought about it a little and figured that yes the only way to be able to live your own way is to work to get to that. Yes i am a student and when i finish my education i will get a job raise money and move the hell out ! i guess complaining won't really help. i just need to work to get to that . i don't want to be 25 and my mom calling me to get home before it's even dark lol ! thanks for the advice it helped me get a goal hahahaha

  • You are at university, have a boyfriend and parents who care about you. Those are all pluses. Don't be too eager to rush things forward. Your time will come when you finish your education and can move on in the world. :) Do you have a diagnosis of depression?

  • Hi, A word of caution if I may. you are 21 years old and have a lot to learn about living out in the social environment so please take a balanced approach. I am aware of your cultural values to a certain extent so please don't do anything on impulse.

    try to be objective and write down what you want from life, maybe having a boyfriend is not one of them or it could be but I leave that to you. write down what is stopping you from achieving these objectives and the idea is to find a balance between what you want from living your life and respecting your cultural values because at the end of the day your parents love you and want what is best for you even if you feel it isn't. I'm from an asian background I enjoy my social life but with respect to my culture and parents.

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