So, I'm 21 years old, I have yet to finish school, I'm unemployed, fat, still living with my parents, I am always emotional and depressed, and I get so sad seeing other people in relationships and knowing I might never get to experience any of that. I have anxiety issues and I'm usually very paranoid, it feels like it's me against the world and I'm doomed. I have no idea how I'll ever get out of this, I feel so hopeless and worthless. I don't have any friends or family, my parents still provide for me but they abuse me a lot, mentally and emotionally, telling me I'll never achieve anything, that I am not good enough to succeed at anything, I am constantly having to hear how fat and worthless I am. Even on the internet people say the same stuff, "you're ugly, you're stupid, you're fat," I've even had people telling me to go die. I've tried to take my own life before, but I was too much of a coward to go all the way. I hate myself so much for being so cowardly when I could just end my suffering already, you know what's funny? I see people taking their loved ones for granted each day and I would give anything to love or be loved. People always tell me cliche stuff like, "it'll get better, just stay positive, or if you don't change your mindset nothing will ever get better." I feel like no-one understands me and I just feel so alone. Like, I've been placed on earth as some cruel joke? To make other people feel better about themselves? Is there anyone else who feels the way I do, do you feel lost? Do you feel empty? I'm tired of having to cry myself to sleep every night, I want to belong. I yearn for someone to care about me like I care about them. Is this really all there is to life? I want out.
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