Lost virginity scared if my husband asks me on d first night or in future a question by my ex??

Lost virginity scared if d husband asks in future?My girl who is ex now is getting arranged marriage, however the guy knew of her past love relationship she is scared as she is not virgin and he may ask it one day.. she says would commit suicide in my name as i was d reason for everything me getting worried.. for boys sex is fun but for girls its a commitment she can't come out of her past pls guide me wat to tell her we broke up bcs I wanted time to get married which she dint had as d family pressure r too much in india boy can say he has girl frnd.. but for girls it isnt easy and she endedup wid thier family choice marriage.. she is regretting for having past affair and for d commitment of d marriage now. How do I tell her

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11 Replies

  • Why should her future husband ask. I also believe there are special counselling sessions that Indian girls can attend. It must be so difficult when you live in one culture but are ruled by another.

  • Well, some may not agree with this but I think it would be better for her not to tell her husband the truth and to say she is a virgin if that is what is expected. You cannot tell for sure if someone is a virgin or not as there are other ways for the hymen to get broken other than through intercourse (eg riding horses or doing sports or sometimes it can just naturally get broken ) so they could never say that she was lying. It would save her honour to say this wouldn't it? Just tell her please just say you are a virgin and that you agree with her to do this . That would be my advice but please bear in mind it is just an opinion.


  • I would agree. There is no sure way of telling whether a female is a virgin or not. But of course our ways may be different. It must be difficult for you

  • I'm so sorry but I've read and re-read this and I can't actually work out who is getting married to who. Your title says you're worried about what your husband will think, but in the body of the post you speak of your ex as a girl? Obviously not an issue with this situation, I just don't really know where to start in attempting to reply!

  • What I mean is it's fine to be in a relationship with a girl and thinking about a future with a husband, I'm just confused about who's who?

  • I'll probably just shut up at this point ...

  • Hi lucy,

    The message is of my ex?? She isn't comfortable of posting such comments nor can share with someone other den me.. so I posted on her behalf. Well she is getting arranged marriage post d break up wid me as per parents wish. D sad part is d guy who is her fiance now knew of our relationship very well.. like were we went and all, bcs his ex girl friend was a close friend Of my girl..She is scared now as he may ask her one day.

  • Here is my thought. Chances are on her wedding night, she will be so anxious that first intercourse will hurt. Husband will presume virginity and it will be end of story.

    If she is feeling this way she needs to consider whether she really does want to go with her family's choice - because I don't see much scope for love to grow if her heart is still with you.

    Here is a link for her, it gives her someone to speak to about her legal rights.


  • Worried. A woman's hymen is quite thin. It can tear and break without her ever having sex. Not all women will bleed the first time they have sex. These are just myths and scare stories to stop young girls having sex. So if the girl doesnt want to tell, this is her business and no one has to know. There is no way for anyone (except maybe a medical examiner, but even then there is no guarantee) to ever be certain a woman is not a virgin

  • It is a shame in this day and age that people do not have a choice who they marry

  • Hi Lucy34 I was also a bit confused regarding the post

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