I have no ambition to get things done around the house, I work third shift divorced only socializing I have is seeing my daughter that is 10

I feel so bored and alone yet don't or cant get the motivation to go out I went through a divorce a year ago I feel life is just day to day suffering im not suicidal I just don't enjoy life other than spending time with my daughter I have lost all trust in people I work and sleep why and what can I do for my daughters and I guess my sake I need to figure out life how??

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2 Replies

  • Have you spoken to your GP at all? Lots of people feel silly about it but depression is an illness and it is better to look at it early than let it get really bad. Its a good idea to get a double appointment if you can - you will probably need to explain things to the receptionist - as that will give the doctor more time to listen ... and try to write things down. Admittedly some doctors aren't as helpful as they could be - don't take that personally if it happens - it just means you need to try again with another one. There are some on-line questionnaires that you can do and it might be an idea to check one of those out - do it and take the results with you. Pretty sure there is one on the NHS Direct site.

    One of the things with depression is that the link between motivation and action gets switched in the brain and you end up actually having to do things before you feel like doing them. Know it's hard but sometimes it really is a question of just going ahead and doing something social no matter how much you don't feel like you will enjoy it.

    If you have an interest and there is a local group or an evening class then you could try joining that - something with lectures can be really good as you get to be with people without having to do a lot of interaction so it eases you back in. Meditation is something you could try.

  • Hi

    I am not surprised that you are wondering what life is about! You have been through a divorce relatively recently which will have left you disappointed that the marriage did not work out as you must have hoped and it is a loss whatever the reasons for it ending. You need to regain trust and that is not an easy thing to do after feeling hurt. In addition you are having to look after and give emotionally to your daughter but it sounds as though there are few sources of support for you. Although you may be depressed as a result I think seeing your GP may result in you seeing yourself as someone who needs medication, where your reactions are normal responses to your situation. You might ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor if you feel it would be helpful to talk about the reasons for ending of your marriage but if not then I think the issue is how you can begin to feel good about yourself once more. Finding an interest or hobby would help, social contact is important too. There used to be a nationwide organisation for people who are divorced and separated and you might research whether it still exists, also your local Citizens Advice Bureau could tell you about any support groups and social groups locally. You might also begin to think about whether your work meets your own long term needs and if not what you might like to do if possible, at least that will get you to start thinking about yourself and what you want from life given your new situation. You might do a life plan with some long term goals and then break those down into shorter term goals and that may help you begin to think about what to do next. It is never easy to start again and divorce requires we do that, but you may begin to view it as an opportunity to re-think the direction you would like your life to go. It may not seem easy but doing that will get you to start moving in the right direction. Meanwhile find some way to meet people and at least chat about something other than your daughter.


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