It's good to talk

Hi this is my first post. I have suffered with depression on and off for 20 years. It has mainly been controlled with medication until I reached the menopause and then it hit me big time. Each time I try a different medication I feel really good for about 4 weeks and then start going downhill again, up the dose and a few times and then prescribed a new drug and so it goes on. My feelings are so up and down I'm not sure what my true feelings are anymore. I think my partner has had enough of me. No one can possibly understand this illness unless they have suffered themselves. My sleep is really messed up and that is why I am writing this at 2 in the morning. Feel better for putting it down in print. Now will try to get to sleep. Goodnight x

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8 Replies

  • Welcome to the site. You are among people here who know exzctly how you feel and will help and support you.

    The menopause is awful with so many hormonal changes.... I actually think it contributed to a nervous breakdown I had around that time.

    I suggest taht you go back to your GP and take a copy of what you have written here so they will know exactly how you feel and maybe be able to put some more help in place for you.

    Keep coming on here.... there will always be someone to help and upport you. Love Julie

  • Dearest Cassey.

    Ur certainly not alone with this.. I too have had depression for over 20yrs an now I'm going throu the menopause.. Not a good combo I know that.. I let my relationship of over 30yrs to end due to not knowing what my feelings are and I still to this day feel the same.. Bless ur heart.. Do u work? What do u like doing? I also have other illness which don't help but I like writing stories thou when I read them back they sound silly but it's does keep my brain thinking and I do end up having a giggle with what I've put but it does get me throu the back times.. Having someone who truely understands does help and u have come to the right site for that and I would be more than happy to be ur contact pits to have a scream.. Moan.. Cry with cos I too need that.. The meds are good to change but not too much it does take time for ur body an mind to adjust to things so take ur time wiv them.. If like me u get all ur words mixed up write ur partner a letter.. Telling them how it is but don't do what I did and let ur letter come across as thou ur having a dig at them cos they don't understand and maybe want to... Keep strong!! Try and keep positive.. What meds are u on? What do u think about in ur darkest moments?

    Thinking of u!

    Candyfloss xx

  • Hi Candyfloss. Thanks for your reply. It is comforting to know someone understands. I too left my husband and son after 30 years of marriage because of this illness. I woke up one morning and said I was leaving him and did that same day without any thoughts of the future. Madness ! I do work now part time and enjoy it as i need to be around people. I am not very good on my own. My new partner tries to understand but he is one of these people that never feels fed up and is always the same.

    He is very positive while I am so negative. I am now on venlafaxine which has certainly helped my mood swings. Dr suggested CBT. Have you tried any therapies and did it help. I would love to enjoy life again. Anyway thanks for listening,


  • It sounds to me as though you need more than just medication to fight your depression. It would explain why they work to a point, then you start to spirall again. What might be effective for you is a combination of medication and talking therapy. I've had depression for almost fifteen years and it's only been in the last year, where I've had a lot of counselling, that I actually feel that anything is actually working. Have you been offered counselling or CBT?

  • Hi Lucy, yes I have been offered talking therapy and CBT and need to arrange for some soon. My DR thinks it would be good for me. Did you feel it helped you? , Cass

  • Oh most definitely! The first few times were so hard. I came home and cried because it was too difficult. But I stuck at it and eight months on I feel a million times better. I've not had CBT but I've had lots of talking therapy x

  • Hello

    Reading your blog, it sounds that you may have not allowed the medications to work by changing monthly, many on this site will agree their feelings are up and down this can be the cause of what you describe. Sadly medication is one of the only things that will treat, although a CPN may be able to find out where all this is coming from. It really is unhelpful for you, your partner needs to realise to give time and understanding so you can sort out these base feelings.

    The change can cause, problems that will change how you view life in general and this can be helped with medication.

    You really need to see your GP and discuss what is going on, try and have your partner involved in where you are coming from and where you want to be when things sort as it will settle in the near future

    Discuss all with GP and see what He/She suggests. It may be a good idea if possible to go and see a female GP if there is one in your surgery, check on NHS Choices what Specialities your GPs are qualified in as all concentrate and have trained in their interests.

    When you get onto the NHS site go on GP surgeries, bring up your surgery and you will find a web page for your doctors practise, go from there

    Good Luck


  • Hi Cassey, so sorry to hear menopause has been rough on you. I had 6 months of a chemical menopause and loved it - can't wait for the real one.

    My sleep was the thing that took the longest to sort in my recent bout, and my GP agreed to me having some zopiclone, so I take 1/2 the night after a bad night so I don't get back into chronic insomnia. I've recently written recommending listening to audiobooks if not sleeping, as they send me to sleep really well!

    With anti-d meds, my biggest problem was the most commonly used types treated the depression but also knocked out the it took going on to a second line drug to get the right one for me. I'm on a pretty high dose at the moment (fecking winter) and the side effect is I can not have any alcohol is nasty, but better that than depression.

    I've been off 4 weeks from work and the truth is I've only started getting properly better in the last week. So even though my meds haven't changed, I needed 4 weeks of "being sick" to get try to give some time to the meds working

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