have been having bad times of late , cant sleep, in so much pain my mind is in a sort of spinning wheel its like a weird sort of time travel kind of thing ! I am having funny dreams whilst awake (not funny ha ha) its like I am seeing my self from the outside looking in remembering things but not knowing if the memory is real or what I am imagining /dreaming! could be my pills and lack of sleep ! I am worried as well because the Lady from the "Well being"service(the counsellor Lady) is calling me again today I cant remember what time she will be calling! she sent a letter to my DR saying I had changed the F2F meeting but it was not me it was someone from her office changed it and I could not say if I could get someone to go with me just like that so he arranged for it to be a telephone session (I think it was any way) my daughter has not spoken to me and I know she is out of hospital now ! I have phoned every day to ask the hospital how she was , she wont answer her phone I am so angry that I am not man enough to be there for her! I really feel lost but dont want to tell the counsellor as I dont want her to think I am feeling sorry for myself I need to get things sorted properly so I can start to live again rather than just exist! damn its hard to be feeling like this so angry with myself ! I just dont know what to do I am so glad I can say what I feel here , I really hope I am not offending anyone as I ask for help but never give any back so I really apologise for that!
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