So there is a festival happening in Belgium over the next week or so and a male friend of mine invited me to go. He showed me pictures and it looked and sounded so amazing and i got all excited about it and i agreed to go with him.

However before booking the tickets as usual and as expected i started to get a bit worried. Its 5 days away from home with no escape from one person, i cant just come home if i like, we are staying with a friend of his (she seems lovely).

He is the nicest person i know, he thinks the world of me and showers me with compliements, not just about the way i look but about me as a person. Makes me think this is the type of person id love to be in a relationship with, hes intelligent, not a horrible immature lad, well spoken, knowledgable, interesting, worldly, wants to just be with me. But i dont think i could be with him like that, i just dont feel the buzz that you get when you really like someone and want to be with them all the time. Its so easy to be with him though and under them circumstances of being in his constant company for 5 days im scared ill get sucked in to it all.

I also feel annoyed at myself for not liking him more...why dont i?! i should, hes exactly what id want! so annoying....anyway thats a side track

im scared im going to have a panic attack while im there, ive been feeling so down lately and been spending alot of my time alone in my room and moaping and crying. Ive also had stomach flu this week so been very ill and still feeling it somewhat. I have no energy.

i just dont no what we are going to talk about for 5 days....i get tired of trying to keep up a conversation for too long at the min. Luckly he is very talkative.

i just think im going to be there and counting down the days till i can come home.

I didnt back out cos i wanted to over come this and missed out on loads in the past from being scared. my mum started talking me out of it and i told her NO i need to go out and do random things.

Its just alot of time to spend with a person who ive not spent alot of time with before.

wish it was only 2 days or something like that =/

3 Replies

  • Illness words......Must, have to, fail, 100%,can't, resentment, what if.

    Wellness words......Want, choose, learn, balance, can, responsibility, opportunity.

    These are quotes from Dr. Tim Cantopher's book and the illness words are what we all use to stop ourselves going places and enjoying ourselves. See if you can look at the wellness words and try and put them to your situation.

    The other thing to do is look at the trip in small steps i.e. pack my bag, go out door, get in car, get on ferry, plane ?? . This way you are not looking at the whole picture which can be very scary. I did it this way when I had to return to the UK for my Dad's funeral, ( I am in NZ), and I was pretty unwell at the time BUT breaking it down I did it and went. Hope you can do the same and ENJOY. And remember , silences between friends can be golden . All the best and I hope that you do make it, it will boost you up enormously. xxxxx

  • If you're anything like me, you'll find the experience a million times better than you're imagining it to be. My life follows a pattern. If I look forward to something, I have a crap time. If I dread it, it tends to go really well! Why don't you try not to think about the relationship potential, and just see it as an opportunity to see a new place and have a well earned relax x

  • Hi again

    The more I read your post and think about all the things you've written previously on the website about your boyfriend (ex) etc the more I wonder whether it's difficult for you to let yourself have something good. You say he's the nicest person you know and that he showers you with compliments, so if you know he's lovely and he clearly likes you what is so scary for you about being in his company for 5 days - not a lifetime, just five days, or even with becoming involved with him. I wonder what you are scared of? It's just a thought, but I wonder whether you are afraid that he will not like you so much if he spends five whole days with you. You are afraid of finding you become involved with him and yet say you can't imagine being with him that way, so perhaps you just need to allow things to take their course and discover whether you do find you want something to happen and also to discover whether it does. That may be quite scary for you given your recent history with your ex.

    Enjoy yourself if you decide to go and come back and tell us all about it!


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