Confused and scared about everything.

[Pratidina]

Hi guys,

I am a 26 year old women living with literally no life. I am confused about every small thing in my life. I am single and have never dated anyone in my life. I have talents but when it comes to executing them and making money I get scared. I am a singer but I don't want to pursue it cause I think there is no money in it and also get scared to take it forward. And I am a lawyer too but I will feel it's so difficult to complete reviewing one agreement as I loose focus so soon and hence I am not interested in pursuing the field. I do not have any other skills to take up some other field. Recently I have started to doubt my orientation. I have a strong feeling I like girls but its not accepted in my society. If I pursue a girl my dream of having kids will shatter, cause the society doesn't accept gay couple only let alone accepting their kids. But I cannot still conclude I am gay cause I enjoyed having physical relations with a man. So I am confused about my orientation. All in all I dunno what to do in my professional life or personal life. I am jobless and single living with family. This is the rock bottom of my life and I want to get out of this. Please help me.

[Hidden]

Maybe you should write a list of goals you want to accomplish and the steps that are needed to make them come true and work on that little by little. And nowadays people are more open it's 2018 and its your life if you like men and women good for you like i said it's your life. And with this economy almost every 26 year olds are living with family

[Hidden]

Pratidina

Your decision may be dictated by the type of Society/Country you live in and that can be affecting how you feel in making life decisions. You know where you are and the restrictive needs of the people who have a possible say in your life choices.

All I can say, we are who we are and everyone needs to be able to address that problem in their own way. Personally I do not feel medications would help although in a way if acceptable a course of CBT may help you make a decision who/what you are. That can only be decided by you and your actual considerations of what you want in life.

I could say run like the wind towards what your life needs are. Life is never as straightforward as that. Consider if you feel the need of experimentation or is this more complex. An itch may be best left alone, an irritation may bleed and will become infected.

Doubt and uncertainty is very much like an irritation that can last a lifetime.

BOB

[Stilltrying_]

Hi there, I am gay myself but living in the UK and I understand what you are saying about cultural differences and yes it's true that you may have a much easier life if you keep your preference for girls a secret and live as a heterosexual person. It sounds anyway that you could be bi-sexual (ie like girls and boys) as you say you enjoyed physical relations with a man (though you never dated?? ) Either way it's fine but being realistic yes you are limiting your chances if you choose to "come out" as a lesbian so it's probably best not to tell though you could maybe see someone in secret at some time in the future?

It sounds like you could have a mild mood disorder but I don't know if its possible to get medications for depression where you live or any talking therapies? It seems you can't quite decide on what is the right kind of life for you. Job, relationships etc.

Please feel free to write more and I will try and help.

Gemma

[happyshadows]

I have to say (being 29 now) and having felt a similar way my whole life...I say fuck it and just sing!! Look up community theaters, audition for a musical or something, not because you will get it, but to face a fear and do something that is out of your comfort zone and maybe even to get experience. You never know what will happen. When I graduated hs, I wanted to go to film school. I wanted to make movies. And my mom said I had to pick something that would u make me money, that directing movies was unrealistic. So I listened. And I went to culinary school. A decision I have regreted for over ten years now. I was suicidal, it took all my might not to quit this school that I didn't want to be in, wishing I was living my dream. And guess what? I ended up not finishing and spent the next decade in debt from a school I didn't like and have been living completely broke for most if that time. If I was gonna work crappy jobs and be broke I want to be doing something I love! I am still in debt from culinary school and have yet to even walk onto a single movie set. I think things start to pan out when we decide to live happily. So try singing, even a few gigs. Ooen mic nights or something! Take a leap for your own sake and a net will appear, I promise. You will learn so much about yourself when you get out of the fear and comfort and you'll realize what you're really capable if, and that happiness isn't that far off. The rest will fall I to place. You'll meet people, and this is will fall into place.

I struggled with sexuality too - I am 29 and o ly just now realizing I am asexual and accepting that it is ok. I have only told my best friend so far.

Sorry it is so long, I just relate! I hope this inspires you a little.

[AllTimeLow]

Hope you are okay.