Lonely no family no friends, anyone else feel the same?

Hi I'm 22 and have two children, my children are great and are my life. I also have a partner of 7 years. I have struggled with depression since my mum died in 2009 iv just never opened up to Anyone about it. I took the first step today and have contacted my health visitor (don't feel I can confide in my doctor) I feel it's really came to a ahead since January this year as I basically asked my remaining family,my grandmother for more help with my children as I noticed she had her other grandchildren alot. When I spoke to her about this I got told I was jealous by her and other members of my family and to be honest it's really hurt me. They don't want to see me or my children anymore. This doesn't really annoy me as I feel like they were a negative impact on my life as they judged everything I done even the way I raised my children. The only people I speak to from my family is one of my sisters and a cousin, and even that's every now again through Facebook. I have around 3 friends who are always to busy for me. I just don't know where to go from here. My partner is a great help when he here but works 30+ hours each week. I do the sake thing each day cleaning and looking after my babies. I am also scared to leave the house on days my partner is working. I do it once a week for a mums and tots group and I struggle doing this.

I'm always worried about people's views as I'm a young mum. Is there anyone else that feels like this?


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4 Replies

  • aww do you think it is post natal depression I had it very badly and had to go into hospital, I was scared stiff of anything happening to my son who is now 15.

    There should be a lot of help out there for mums with young children.

    My mother wasnt very nice to me when my son was a baby, I think she was jealous of the attention he got and I didnt have any friends really

    Have you considered anti depressants, they have helped me a lot. I still suffer with depression and anxiety and am going through a hard time now

    Your grandmother sounds a bit of a cow does she have favorites?

  • Hi

    I'm sorry you are feeling so isolated - feeling lonely is really hard especially with two small children. It's good that you are able to see your partner is supportive when he is there and that you understand he can't always be there.

    It sounds as though your Mum was very important to you and that you have never really got over her loss. From what you say it sounds as though the remaining members of your family are not supportive, in fact they sound quite insensitive and critical towards you and I wonder whether they envied the special relationship you had with your Mum? It sounds almost as if your gran thinks if you think you are so special you can manage on your own and not expect us to help you - which does sound harsh, especially as you have made the effort to ask for help which isn't easy. It's sad that they are rejecting your children as well as they will miss out on having a grandmother - it feels spiteful of your gran.

    I think you would find it helpful to see a counsellor in order to talk about your Mum and what she meant to you especially during your early life and in relation to other members of the family. Your health visitor can ask your GP to refer you and if you explain to the health visitor that you would find it difficult to talk with the GP about how you are feeling he should understand.

    You don't mention your Dad. Was he around?

    Probably if you have felt judged and criticised you will have low self-esteem which will impact on your ability to make friends - the counsellor may help you to feel better about yourself but after counselling joining a therapy group or similar group of women would help you to hear feedback that is more positive - you clearly love your children and are sensitive about what is happening within the family so you are likely to be a really nice person.

    It is stressful to have a boring life, look after a home and two children and have no support or friends. Until such time as you have some professional support do use the website freely - I have at times, you can write as much as you feel able to and people will care and offer whatever support they can - it can be like having a few online friends!


  • You may have post natal depression or you haven't been able to cope with the loss of your mum which is very understandable. I am pleased to hear you have mentioned something to your health visitor, that is your first step. Take baby steps and try not to worry about what others may think. You have beautiful children and a supportive partner which is so precious xx

  • Hi thank you for the replies, have booked an appointment with my doctor so hopefully I can get some help. My dad is a heavy drinker and I haven't had contact with him since 2009. Yeah they have there favourites and I agree asking for the help was hard but to have it thrown in my face was worse. I offered her to see my children under my supervision as I have problems trusting people and she refused this.. I mean it thanks for the replies its nice to know there's other people who feel like this also