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Weight ... Some thoughts about diets and weight loss....

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate
18 Replies

Hello Everyone

Recently I've been interested in all the questions about weight and what to do about it. I don't know if what I'm about to say is of any interest but if it can just help one person then I'll be really chuffed :-).

Soooooo.... from quite young I had a long battle with weight issues and got caught in that awful 'diet cycle' - thin and excited, fat and fearful and so it went on...

Eventually, in 2005 at the age of 47 I woke up - something just clicked but I needed to find the right help. I did and lost 18 kilos. Now, 7 years later, I mostly remain within 3-5 kilos of my original target weight. I am realistic though: as I am getting older, I'd much rather have a reasonably non-scrawny looking face so I make sure I do actually maintain a certain avoir du poids :-).

The motivation to lose that 18 kilos came when I wasn't looking - it happened as a natural process - I'D TRULY & SINCERELY GIVEN UP ON DIETING! At this point a nurse friend of mine told me about a 'lifestyle programme' (I was in Australia at the time) that was a bit severe but had helped various people take a different look at how and what they ate from a health perspective. It dealt with diabetes, heart problems and general metabolism disorders.

I knew it would be tough and probably a bit rigorous (it was a programme designed by a South African Heart Specialist) but I suddenly realised I wasn't being asked to talk about dieting.

My partner helped me and, after 4-5 months, I lost that 18 kilos.

NOW..... obviously I am keen to maintain a reasonable weight as I can't afford another wardrobe change!! Soooo what do I do???

In all my erstwhile yo-yo dieting and every type of diet under the sun, I came across Slimming World. Sadly, it was in the last 6 months before we were emigrating to Australia (1999) and, at that time there was no way I was going to be able to carry on on my own :-(!! So, I didn't!!!

Now... having learned a great deal about health and nutrition (and how to be mentally/emotionally healthy about it too :-) ) I came to understand how simple the answer really was.... It's an old saying but very true "everything (mostly) in moderation".

Well, a while ago I was working with a client on nutritional issues and we were discussing the most emotionally healthy way of achieving his goals...... We worked and worked on finding a way that he could eat without resorting to the 'diet cycle' and, slowly, we found ways that worked for him. He did achieve his goal by the way :-).

Since that time though, Slimming World has crossed my path again and I was amazed to find that there was an on-line version. I had a good read of it to re-assess their philosophy around eating. I was and am impressed by its approach towards enjoying a huge variety of foods in healthy combinations - not a bad programme and it certainly doesn't come across as a potential 'diet cycle'. From what I've seen, people are learning how food actually works and learning to enjoy it rather than worry and feel guilty about everything they eat. AND, really importantly, when wine is involved THEN I think EUREKA :-) !!! These people seem to be thinking intelligently - good for them :-).

THE BIG PROBLEM WITH DIETS IS BOREDOM. People can only stick to certain restricted food groups for a short period of time. During this time nothing whatsoever is generally learned about the body's need to SLOWLY re-learn how to deal with interesting foods. The expectation is to be able to wear nice clothes and, obviously, look good and gain confidence. This isn't helpful if the diet doesn't ask us to take responsibility for thinking about how to organise the food we eat. We NEED nutritious and wholesome food from all the food groups.

Sooooo.... if anyone out there is battling with this diet issue - please, please ask yourself: "what am I learning about the nutrients I am/am not giving my body". Also - PLEASE DON'T PANIC if you are doing this programme to lose weight and find yourself putting on weight. The first stop is a lesson in basic biology/physiology. Muscle is heavier than fat. Muscle looks better than fat and creates a more toned and physically fitter/useful body.

I think the underlying principle has to be about deciding ourselves whether something is going to be helpful for our bodies and brains or not. Diet companies don't allow people to take responsibility for what they eat themselves (unless it is just to eat their brand or do what they say).

The word Diet to me now means what it originally meant: the food we choose to eat (given different financial situations) on a daily basis which will deliver the best nutrients in as tasty a way as possible.

Hope this is a little bit helpful for someone out there

Sara :-)

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psarapsych profile image
psarapsych
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18 Replies
earl-grey-sian profile image
earl-grey-sianGraduate

I'm an occupational therapist/eating disorder clinician work in an eating disorders day treatment programme in Gloucestershire. Every day I witness where an obsession with measuring your self-worth with bathroom scales leads, day in, day out. Since working there, and working very closely with a specialist dietitian I've learned about 'set-point theory'.

The theory states that our bodies have a set-point, a point at which it's meant to be, weight-wise. This point is dictated mainly by genetic factors and for 95% of the Western caucasian population will fall between 20 and 25 BMI, the 'healthy' range.

So, if you have a set-point BMI of 25 but want your BMI to be 21, as you restrict your diet, your metabolism will slow down to preserve the weight. If you have a healthy relationship with food, listen to your body, eat when you're hungry and stop when you are full, you will have a BMI that sits naturally in the healthy range. It might not be where you'd like it to be within that healthy range but there is little, long-term, that you could, or should, do about it.

As my dietitian colleague says, there is no such thing as unhealthy food, just an unhealthy diet!

Hope this helps too :-)

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate

Absolutely Earl-grey-Sian :-) - I was hoping others would contribute some helpful information. The Set Point Theory is soooo important and I'm glad you have talked about it - I was worried my post was getting so long....

The relationship with weighing scales rather than a relationship with health and how you feel does become an obsessive one and, as you say, a sad and confidence diminishing one too.

I'm interested in your work - I worked for quite a while (in Australia) in conjunction with a GP who had a particular passion for helping people get away from the scales.

THANK YOU for posting :-)

Sara

earl-grey-sian profile image
earl-grey-sianGraduate in reply topsarapsych

What is your line of work? I assume from your name that you are either a psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist? You are always welcome to visit us.

We follow a model which originated in Toronto. We are the only service in the uk offering this model of intensive day treatment which combines the structure and safety of inpatient with the self-discipline and motivation of community treatment.

The patients come to us for on average 8 hours per day from Monday to Friday and stay with us for either 8 weeks (if it's for bulimic symptom interruption) or until they reach a BMI of 20 (which is anything up to 6 or 7 months. We take patients who would otherwise need inpatient treatment with BMIs from 12.5!

If you want to know any more, just ask.

Siân :-)

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate in reply toearl-grey-sian

Sian... I am so sorry, i didn't see this post and therefore my response is really tardy, apologies.

Your programme sounds really excellent :-). I know about the Canadian programme and have long been an admirer.

I'm a counselling psychologist and psychotherapist having trained between uk and Australia.

I would love to visit :-). I live in Austria at the moment but if ever i get the opportunity i certainly will make it my business to visit :-). The work you all are doing there ought to be offered nationwide.

Apologies again Sian

Sara :-)

Mitts profile image
MittsGraduate

Lots of good sense from you both, thank you! :-)

I once lost 10 kilos which have stayed off, but I'm lucky, I can plan all my own food every day and I don't have a sweet tooth (I have a wine and olives tooth :-D )

I think people often lose sight of 'how much do I need and how much of what is good for me?'. We should listen to our bodies here too, but maybe we have to listen very hard in this case, bodies don't always yell the way they do when we're running. Our 'food' lifestyles are maybe not what our bodies either want or need, but they only whisper it...

'You are what you eat' is only half true, 'you are what you do' is maybe better, and at least we are all doing quite a lot for our health in this programme!

So I can have my glass of wine and some lovely nuts tonight with a perfectly clear conscience... :-)

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate in reply toMitts

Good for you Mitts - you see that's what I mean - healthy thinking (re: wine and nuts in good conscience) :-).

You're right - we rarely tend to listen to those little whispers. If we learned to listen, they'd get louder - right???

Thanks for the input and enjoy those nuts, Sara :-)

DeliaItaly profile image
DeliaItalyGraduate

Evening Sara, Earl Grey Sian and Mitts :-) and thank you for the interesting and informative posts.

I firmly believe that many (if not most) women suffer from some kind of eating disorder at some time or other -- I'm certain many of us have yo-yoed weight-wise (and not just me!) -- and the Set Point Theory is powerful and convincing. I tried so hard to bring up my 3 girls so that they would "settle" at their natural weight and not obsess about food -- yet peer influence and the media do get in the way -- a bit like not buying then Barbies, someone 'll buy them one sooner or later. Body image, fat, I could wax on lyrically on the subject. A bit like the obsession regarding age. When exactly did society become so obsessed with youth? Why should we look 16 all our lives? I'll shut up before the feminist in me really shows!

All I know is that at my age I have to choose. It's either my bum or my face. I go for my face

:-P hugs to you all, delia

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate in reply toDeliaItaly

Hey D... :-) - my Austrian cousin keeps saying to me "I want to speak to a smooth face, not a smooth bum" LOL !!!!

D'you know in this age of equality it seems inequality is gaining momentum. Because of the media, young women don't feel glamorous enough to apply for jobs or promotion. Recent research has shown that women who would normally (given education and age) be heading for good jobs are becoming more concerned that they're not 'good enough' because of how they look.

A dear friend's beautiful daughter of 21 (an Oxford Graduate with a first) is too nervous too apply for jobs for which she'd be perfect because she doesn't think she looks good in a suit!!!! It is all becoming horribly obsessive, I agree.

Anyway, given what we've all achieved I think we'd feel like we could storm any barricades :-)!!!!

Hugs to you to ((((Delia)))), Sara :-) xox

thinnerandfitter profile image
thinnerandfitterGraduate

Hi Sara,

Thank you for your fascinating thoughts. I can add a few as a successful Slimming World user who has no intention of putting it all back on.

I can't say anything particularly erudite about Slimming World (wrong kind of science for me) but it has worked for me. So far I've lost 3 stone (which was needed) and I have another 10lb to go to get into the healthy BMI range. It is beginning to feel do-able *and* sustainable (important).

I really don't miss the things that are restricted (choc, cake, even cheese) but I do feel a bit concerned that I haven't learnt to restrict my intake overall. I was a big eater to start with and still am - but fortunately it's now a bowl of fruit that can disappear in (seemingly) no time rather than a packet of choc biscuits! I also work from home and have a family so there are always "synful" foods around and plenty of opportunity to snack- I've had to learn not to go there and never run out of "my" food.

I can honestly say I haven't been bored on this diet - frustrated though in recent months. I started in January and lost the first 2 stone quite fast (probably 2-3 months) but since then it's all slowed right down and I finally got to 3 stone this week. I think that's quite typical though and the 3 lbs I lost this week was the running finally kicking in (yes, I've read the helpful blog about muscle density and water retention). I'll have to see what happens in the coming few weeks. I did lose about 2 stone or so about 7 years ago but put it all back (and more). This time, thanks to SW, I do feel that I know better what I'm doing and I have a much better chance of longer term success.

By the way - a friend of mine who was more overweight to start with has lost 5 stone on a similar plan - and also did a marathon this year! I have no plans to follow in those particular footsteps (but 5 k would be nice!!)

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate

Hi T&F (hope it's okay to say it that way...?).

Yes, I think SW does work and I think it is the most helpful, educative programme to change eating behaviours. How wonderful that you can now eat loads of really good food - I think the important thing is to know that there is something good you can eat when you really get those pangs.

But anyway, what an achievement and yes, you're right it's when you get to the original layers of fat that were set longer ago that it takes longer to shift. That's how it was put to me by a Doctor when it took a month to lose that last kilo!!! It makes sense and I guess it helped me to see it that way because I looked at what was happening in my life when the fat first started being stored and when I looked at it that way I started to feel much kinder and compassionate towards myself and my body.

It must also wonderful for you to be able to do SW in combination with this programme because the programme seems to get people hooked so we do get out there and get those endorphins racing.

Sooooooo.... only 10lbs to go - not far off then. Gosh, you must feel amazing :-). When I lost all my weight, with hindsight I was pleased it happened slowly because that too was quite an emotional experience and it took me a while to get used to so many things about myself being slim. It's quite a journey you're on T&F - A real heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS for your journey so far, Sara :-) xx

Vivwestie profile image
VivwestieGraduate

Some very interesting info here. I definitely agree about the 'set-point'. I always used to 'settle' around the 10 stone mark. I put a lot of weight about 12 years ago due to a combination of pregnancy, breaking my arm, giving up smoking etc., and then it seemed that the 'set-point' had changed!

Last year, though, I did a lot of research into food, diet and nutrition. I'd tried SW and whilst I think it is great for a lot of people, I just couldn't get on with it - I don't like the use of the word 'syn' as applied to any food. But, regardless of that, it does focus on healthy choices.

Essentially (and because I don't want to go rambling on for ages!), I think a lot of the problem is that the diet that has become standard in the UK (much like the American SAD diet) is mainly comprised of meat, dairy and processed, highly salted and sugared food. Consequently, a lot of people are, literally, starving. Starving of nutrients. Although they may eat a lot the body isn't getting the vital nutrients it needs so they still feel hungry and so eat more, but still the body is malnourished, and the cycle goes on. Added to this is the effect of high-sugar loading on the body and the yo-yoing of high/low blood sugar levels. As soon as I switched my diet to a predominantly vegetable/fruit/nuts/pulses/grains one with no meat, only occasional fish, very little dairy, sugar and hardly any processed foods - cravings virtually disappeared and I started to lose weight. Taking up the C25K programme, which added in exercise to up the metabolism, has been a great combination.

It was like waking up from an addiction - an addiction to sugar and processed foods. Now I get excited by a big bowl of home-made vegetable broth - because it's what my body needs, so now it's what I want. Once the body is fed with nutrient rich foods the appetite adjusts.

Now, I realise that this doesn't factor in psychological issues that lead to bulimia/anorexia - I have no experience in those areas.

But the imbalance between what our body needs and what we are conditioned to put in it (by the media, supermarkets, and brands, because of profit!) is a troubling one and when it is further complicated by the bullshit feeding by the media that unless you look a 'certain' way you're not worthy, then it's no wonder that there's so much warping of what food really is and should be - fuel for living.

And, sorry - I have rather gone on for much more than I intended - but this is a subject that I am feeling more and more passionate about. I love my body now - not because it's aesthetically beautiful - it's still carrying too much fat (for running fast, anyway), it's got cellulite and dimples and knobbly feet and a big nose and more loose, wrinkly bits as time goes by. But, do you know what? It works. It mainly does what it needs to do when it needs to do it. It runs when I want it to. It digests food and breathes efficiently. It recovers when I put it under strain and adapts marvellously, despite all the abuse it's suffered. It's an amazing thing. A perfect bit of engineering and I am becoming more and more grateful for its ability to function so well - and I realise that I'm very lucky to have such resilient hard-ware!

And even more lucky that it still tolerates my love of wine!

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate

Viv, what a wonderful in put to the conversation and you didn't go on too long at all.

I see so many posts worrying about diets that I thought some really good, positive discussion about people's experiences might inspire, motivate and gently steer people into a healthier way of thinking about bodies and food.

Your post certainly does all of that :-). It is a wonderful privilege to have a body that functions in spite of rimples, dimples, cellulite and knobbly bits. Is it only as we get older that we appreciate and actually believe that we are more than what we look like on the outside?

On your comment about Bulemia/Anorexia - that very often is nothing initially to do with a desire to be thin per se - it is usually kicked off by some felt need to have some iota of control in an environment where the person feels they can control nothing in their external world, they feel powerless and resort to the only things they can control - their bodies. This in turn exerts a certain sort of power over their external world.

Actually, re-reading it - I REALLY LOVED YOUR POST - thank you, Sara :-) xox

earl-grey-sian profile image
earl-grey-sianGraduate in reply topsarapsych

Can I just also add that the majority of anorexia sufferers (less so with bulimia) have a very strong perfectionist element to their personalities, which can be a very unhelpful feature.

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate

Yesssss.... absolutely true and it is a really difficult thinking pattern to work with. Like any coping mechanism that has taken years to develop, it can't just be stripped away. It can take years sometimes (and sometimes will never change) to help someone through this illness.

Thanks earl-grey-sian, I'm enjoying this conversation

Sara

I just want to bump this. I read it on my phone this morning, and didn't have the will to stab out a post with my thumbs, and now I've got to a computer I'm too tired to be coherent.

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate in reply to

Hi Delores, it would be great to hear why you want to 'bump' the posts here :-). Not sure what bumping means in this context..? My aim was to get a lively and healthy discussion going because for many (not all) people weight and diet are important in combination with this programme. Hope you feel less exhausted soon, Sara :-)

I was hoping that bumped would take it to the top of the page, but apparently not! The way posts are organised here is weird, and calling all the initial posts a blog suggests to me that whoever at Health Unlocked briefed the software engineers had never seen a blog or a messageboard before, but I digress! I'll be on a computer later today.

psarapsych profile image
psarapsychGraduate in reply to

Okay Delores, i look forward to reading your comments.

Yes, I'm a bit bamboozled about the blog/posts language and how it works. Anyway hope your day isn't too strenuous, Sara :-)

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