Not quite the epiphanies of R2, but the last outing had set the bar rather high, so I was expecting to have to ‘face some things’ today on this midday run. I tried calling out subliminal fears by making myself - and this runs completely counter to type - select the second happiest smiley on the app. Tempting Fate, so to speak.
And it looked like I was going to get the comeuppance I’d invited. I struggled to get my breathing just-so, as became all too apparent when talking (trying) 5 mins in. I was gasping my sentences (more like guttural gestures). No idea why... or maybe I do: bad night’s sleep; a morning spent in high-stress work situation; and, as I was later to discover, shock absorber put on inside-out and hooked too tightly onto the wrong eyes.
Despite all that, the run turned out just fine. Pretty good in fact. Even when M disappeared off into the far distance, I was perfectly content with my own pace.
I ran without added sound again, reaching for the mindful body-scanning and the ‘awe-run’ techniques in equal measure, and, against the odds, i didn’t find time dragging at all. Just once or twice I slipped into some negative thoughts (like: ‘omg, I can’t breathe properly...’) but then just switched back into focus.
I’m finding that Steve Hobbs’ ‘lift from the hips guidance (this is from the podcast I listened to a couple of runs back) to be especially magical in its effect on me. I’m puzzling why this particular bit of advice, and I think it’s because it attends to the core with complex knock-ons for legs and feet and head. Focussing on, say, head or shoulders or footfall are all fine, but this hip thing seems to synthesise everything. It goes together with landing more lightly and less bouncily. Whereas, if I think about my feet, I seem to become heavier, and the lighter foot is more elusive. I’m just sharing my inexperienced thoughts here and maybe this is something real runners know all about. Anyway, turning my thoughts to this particular aspect of the mindful body-scan nicely absorbs my attention for long stretches of time and has positive results for how my body feels. Even when it feels lees than good.
On the ‘awe’ side, today was mostly about leaves, with some pondering of changing cloud formations (some looked quite volatile), and the trunks of plane trees (original inspo for camo). I became aware that the section I’ve hitherto thought of as the ‘orchard’ was in fact made up younger broadleaf trees (oak, plane, acer). Just goes to show how little I’ve been noticing. The shiny blue coat/ballon thing had been removed from the tree top.
The park-keepers -,who imagine were responsible for the last point - were blowing fallen foliage into piles. Large plane leaves had gathered deep all along the runners’ rut on the embankment, requiring higher steps, concealing the hazards of exposed roots, and demanding much more attention. In the spirit of awe, I tried making that attention ‘generous’ rather than merely functional. I think that’s the ‘awe’ principle; you really ‘go for it’ with how you think, relating to as well as looking at ... if that makes any sense. Today I was less effusive and playful than I was for R2. This was altogether a ‘quieter’ approach to an awe-run. And, for me, it worked just as well. Different. Felt right. Went well with the weather.
Back home, though, M said I was looking especially beetroot.