Ah, I made it to Week 1 - this is significant because it's the most I have ever consistently run in my life's history. And so Week 1 ended in tears - the happy kind. Why? That despite all the excuses I came up with to not run and all the distractions - natural and self-made, I did it! That for three days in a week, I showed up. I showed up, for myself! That it would seem that I am slowly becoming that person I have always been to others but have failed miserably at becoming for just me. That was the first epiphany.
Then there was hope - the realization that maybe I am not a lost cause and that I can ACTUALLY do it. The road (and ensuing miles) ahead of me will be long and full of bends, but if there's anything this first week has taught me, it is that I will be there. I will be there to slowly practice my purpose and build myself up. I got a teeny taste of that runner's high, and it tasted good. I cannot wait to gobble it all up once I reach the right attitude. The overarching goal is to replace the destructive highs I get from other unhealthy things with this wholesome kind of high.
The first run was sponsored solely by self-will and determination. By the second run, I had run out of those and was doing it because I really wanted to get a dose of that high. See, I am an addict to myself, so it makes sense to switch one bad addiction for another one. Even my brain seems to want this too.
So here's to keeping it simple and consistent. Thanks for every one of you who replied to my first post. You are partly responsible for keeping me going.
I look forward to your support as I roll (or more aptly, slug) into Week 2.