Trying to get my mojo back

Hi all I’m 52 trying to get my mojo back I started couch to 5k about 13 weeks ago and did well up until week 7 were I was running without stopping and hitting 3-5k three times a week then family drama, my husband left my and our young son and since then I’ve struggled to get to run I’ve only been twice. I know it sounds stupid but I’m trying to keep my chin up and for me to be dressed smart and make up on is helping my confidence so to go out without makeup and run is making me feel down. I’m hoping I can get it back!

[misswobble Graduate]

Oh dear what a horrible time 🤨. I’m so sorry to hear that. Terrible time for you and your son.

You do what you need to do to preserve your sanity and confidence at this time. Running does help clear your head though so dont rule it out 🙂. As for wanting to look smart and face the world with lippy on i’m Sure we all get that 💋💪🙂.

I hope you’ll get back to running It’s something you and your son could do together It’s good for kids to see parents staying fit and healthy and into the habit of taking regular exercise

Good luck Let us know how you get on 🙂

[Hidden in reply to misswobble]

Thank you! I will get back there I’m sure and yes my son would love to get involved. good advice, thank you xx

[Bloodhound1]

One step at a time is the answer. The confidence will flow back as complete each run . remember there are loads of people out there who - whilst they may never admit it - are actually pretty jealous of your ability to get fitter. And and as you get fitter as each run is completely you will also look fitter and that will build your confidence even more. It’s a self generating confidence builder. Just go for it. 👍

[Hidden in reply to Bloodhound1]

Thank you! You are so right I will do this x

[ForestGrump63 Graduate]

Gosh I can relate, my ex decided at 50 that he wanted to pass on his seed (always said for years he didn’t want children) and ran off with a woman 16 years younger than him who I assume has a set of working ovaries). It takes time to recover from life’s dramas but exercise is great for mental health. Im a RMHN so kinda had to practice what I preach to my patients so here I am on C25K . I would say go far a run even if you don’t feel motivated and slap on the lippy and the smile after 👍

[Hidden in reply to ForestGrump63]

Oh I’m so sorry! 😢

I know there are so many people who are going or been through this I know. He’s left me for my sister who is only a year younger than me I’ve just lost so much you know?! Here’s to healing xx

[ForestGrump63 Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Woah well don’t they make a perfect set of a*seholes? That’s terrible, they’re terrible and deserve better than them 2 x

[Hidden in reply to ForestGrump63]

That’s made me laugh. You are so right, onwards and upwards hey! 😂

[Phoenix_flames21 Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Omg! What kind of person does that??? You are so much better off with that kind of toxicity in your life. I'm so proud of you getting out there with your lippy in. You go girl! They have shown their true colours, time to show yours and shine x

[Mrun1 Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Wow, I've just seen this sister part. What a kick in the face that is! I'm so so sorry you're going through this. It's the loss of two people not just one.

Success is the best revenge and all that, but man it is hard to find the energy when life knocks you down.

You'll get through this, one way or another. If anything I think running will help take your mind off it, even if it is only for 30 mins.

You can always come here to talk to us if you're feeling down. Don't deal with this all alone. ❤️

[quirkybee Graduate in reply to ForestGrump63]

I like your way of thinking Amanda, but sorru to hear of what happened though 😊

[ForestGrump63 Graduate in reply to quirkybee]

Thanks you x I pray every day that their child is a full of character, boisterous loud rebel 👍

[Snuffy_T Graduate]

I sometimes use waterproof makeup when I exercise. If it makes you feel more confident to get out there, just do it. I also use a small amount of concealer under my eyes.

[Hidden in reply to Snuffy_T]

Thank you 😘practical advice love it! I will do this! Xx

[MandiV]

Just a hug 🤗 x

[Hidden in reply to MandiV]

Thank you! 😍

[Oldlady57]

Hope your taking one thing at a time Meleers. The most important people in this is you & your son. Keep your head held high & keep what your doing. Hopefully you’ll get back to C25K & get some headspace (with or without makeup!!) wishing you well👍🏻

[Hidden in reply to Oldlady57]

Thank you so much x

[misswobble Graduate]

I don’t run in makeup as I am always wiping my eyes and face so I’d end up looking like a panda 🐼 There are those who do,however, and its a subject on its own Websites dedicated to marathon makeup 🙂 Wossname touched on it in her book, Hemmo! It’ll come to me in a minute. “Running like a girl”. That’s the one ! 🙂

[Hidden in reply to misswobble]

🤣🏃‍♀️ thank you I run without make up but as I’ve been so down I haven’t wanted to be without my crutch aka makeup. X

[LittleNell83 in reply to Hidden]

When I wanted to feel more confident running I used tinted moisturiser and clear mascara with a coloured lip balm. So, I felt like I had make up on but it was just enough for me to feel that guard up and not enough I would turn into a panda.

Hope you find what works for you and you are surrounded by friends who can give you the positive support you need x

[quirkybee Graduate in reply to misswobble]

Hi MissWobble 😊 I always look like a panda on my runs too when I'm totally soaked with running perspiration 🤣🤣

[Hidden]

Hi there Hidden ,

I noticed your post flying past in my feed and my heart went out to you. I've been through something similar in the past couple of years except that, to my shame, I was the one doing the leaving. I am not proud that I couldn't stick it out, but what it did force me to do was to re-evaluate my life, work out what was important, and deal with the underlying issues. In my situation years if a deteriorating relationship had really left me depressed, borderline suicidal.

I really hope the mental effects are less severe for you, but do know that there will be good days and bad days. Don't be afraid to ask the doctor for help. I ended up on anti-depressants for a year, which enabled me to at least deal with the problems from the marriage breakup, and the problems in me. Your situation must be awful, I know, but you really aren't alone. Even posting something non-running related here if you need to will be just fine, and you'll get loads of support.

One of the best decisions I made was to start running, not quite sure how I ever got past week 1 of C25K, but I've since grown to love running, especially the positive effect it has on my mental health, but I do understand how shattering a relationship breakup can be, so take it one day at a time and be patient with yourself.

Remember, running is "me" time, and if you can get out even for 10 minutes, it's worth it. If you are struggling with the structure of C25K as you adapt to your new lifestyle, then maybe repeat some of Week 5 or Week 6 a few times. I bet you could still do week 5 run 3 for example, and I'm sure that would lift your mood. For me, the mood enhancing properties of running (endorphins apparently) were enough to get me off the anti-depressants after a year.

I've waffled on for long enough now, but all the best to you, I really hope things improve, and that your running mojo returns too!

Neil

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much Neil you are right and I get that so many will and are going through similar to me. I’m sure I can get through this and I did get changed and ran this afternoon and managed 20mins continuous running, so I’m very pleased with that! I felt better and more confident for doing it too. Thank you for sharing your plight too and I’m glad you have managed to succeed in making a difference to your life x

[Liz5K Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Well done for getting back out there!

[Hidden in reply to Liz5K]

Thank you Liz5K x

[Scooter69 Graduate in reply to Hidden]

I’m sending a virtual hug and really good wishes to you and your son.

[Hidden in reply to Scooter69]

Thank you x

[LottiePops]

Oh gosh what a tough time for you....& those words of mine do not do it justice. My heart goes out to you so much 💛

I’m not a huge make up person but I can totally get needing something as a crutch to wear to face the world. How about buying yourself a lovely new running top and putting some clear mascara on and some lovely colourful lippy and going for a gentle run? Tell you what, if you feel able to do it then I will too - I’ll wear lippy on my next run and if anyone else joins in we can be your running support army! Don’t let these two people rob you of what helps you feel good for YOU. You deserve so much better than this. Sending you love and hope you find your way. We are all here for you XxXy

[Hidden in reply to LottiePops]

Thank you so much LottiePops 😍 I’ve done it! been for a run I didn’t do as much as normal but feel so much better for going, onwards and upwards 🏃‍♀️

[quirkybee Graduate]

Hi Hidden oh I can relate to a break up and it's just me and my son, my heart goes out to you lovely. I'd run with you and keep you company if I was nearer to you, but get out there and say 'knickers to you' (to your ex), I'm looking after US now (you and your son), I'm going to be fitter, healthier AND A SUPER SEXY WOMAN 🤣🤣🤣 You go for it lovely, you will bounce back abd get your mojo. I'm stuck in a real rut lately and it's not nice, but if you're lucky enough to have time to run, get out there. We will see you through this fog 😘 xx

[Hidden in reply to quirkybee]

Thank you quirkybee and you’re right there’s lots of us in this situation. 💕

[Nita49 Graduate]

Life's full of hurdles, some are easier to get over than others.

I'm sorry to hear about your recent experiences, and nothing I say will change what you and your son are going through. The fact its your sister is like another punch in the heart.

I'm sure they didn't intentionally set out to hurt you, and we can't help who we fall in love with..... I can imagine it's pulled the family apart in so many ways.

I'm so pleased to see that you got out running again, it will help in so many ways... Remember you are worth it, you are beautiful and amazing!

Big hug, and keep that head held high 🙌

[Hidden in reply to Nita49]

Thank you so much Nita49

[Mrun1 Graduate]

Ive been there. 13 years ago now my world fell apart (it didn't but it certainly felt like that at the time) when my boyfriend left me with our 6 month old son.

It does get better, and I have to say that exercise was one of the main things that kept me off anti depressants. (no judgement for anyone on them, they've worked wonders for me at times) the link between metal health and exercise is a strong one in my opinion. And you know what, if you want to run with make up on then go for it! Get some waterproof foundation and mascara and get out there. The exercise, sense of achievement and fresh air will help you feel better, even if it's only for a short time.

Things will get better, I promise. You'll look back on all this one day and you'll be pleased you didn't let him ruin running and other things for you. If you quit, you'll look back and realise how much joy and time you lost being sad over him.

I know it's not easy, but it's all down to you to keep your life moving forward. Everything will be ok in time, you'll see.

[Jodava]

Your husband leaving is his emotional stuff and doesn’t change a damn thing about the amazing and infinitely worthy person that you are. Don’t put the keys to your happiness in his pocket. Remember how incredibly fabulous you are and look after yourself and your son. Much love to you both xx