Finally…

[emily-m]

It's taken me the best part of two weeks to finish W9 (and, let's face it, more like three months than 9 weeks for the whole of C25K) but finally, yes, finally, I've graduated. 😎

Twice. Well, sort of… 😏

Last week ended up being a bit of a nightmare. I'd done a pretty good W9R2 at the weekend and was looking forward to the graduation run on Tuesday. Then life got in the way. I'd finally got accepted to go back to finish my PhD after an extended period off with acute anxiety, but the process (endless assessments, meetings and waiting) was in itself pretty stressful and by the start of last week I'd started to feel that I couldn't do it, that I was wasting my time, and most of all, just hopelessly embarrassed about the whole thing. Fortunately on Thursday my nice new supervisor took the trouble to ring me up to find out how I was, we had a good chat and I went in to see him on Friday. Suddenly, just through someone being thoughtful, everything had turned around and I felt much more positive.

So… then for C25K!

My original plan had been to do W9R3 and practice for a couple of weeks before tackling park run. That had been one of my original aims but I felt I needed to work up to it. I was anxious about going, knowing what to do, running with other people. But coming home from uni on Friday I was in such a good mood I just thought 'Ah why not' and decided I'd go and do my graduation run at park run on Saturday.

I was so nervous/excited I woke up at 5 to 6 and couldn't get back to sleep again. I got to the park ridiculously early to find loads of club runners jogging up and down and doing elaborate stretching exercises. I couldn't see anyone else who looked conspicuously like a newbie, so to fill the time and to keep warm I did the first bit of the warm up we do at dance class, which must have looked a bit odd, but by then I'd stopped caring. (I think it actually worked quite well because I didn't get the upper body tension I sometimes feel when I run.)

Eventually a chap with a megaphone called forward 'first timers and visitors'. The 'first timers' were asked to stick up their hands and I saw there were actually quite a lot of us. Then the 'visitors' gave us a spontaneous round of applause! That might sound a bit cheesy but it made me feel I'd succeeded just by being there, like in W1R1 when no matter how much it hurts, you've succeeded just by getting off the couch.

So then we were ready to go, and off we went. Obviously I forgot to put my earphones in or start the app. I found the first few minutes really disconcerting as everyone seemed to rush past and I had to fight very hard against the sensation that I was actually going backwards. The rest of the first km was pretty tough, with a lot of 'I don't want to be here', but C25K has taught me I often think that and it usually goes away. The second km marker took an age to come up but by the third I'd started to think I was actually enjoying it. I certainly seemed to be in a better rhythm and be breathing more evenly than I usually did. I'd worried about pacing myself alongside other people (and their chorus of beeping watches, which I hadn't thought about!) but I started to wonder if it might not be easier, though I can't really say how or why.

Just after the 4km mark I realised I wasn't breathing quite so well any more, but at least the finish was in sight. With about 200m to go a man came up behind me saying, 'Well done on finishing your first park run!' before he shot past; he was one of the 'visitors' who'd stood next to me at the briefing. I was really touched he was kind enough to congratulate me. I didn't really have the breath to say I hadn't finished yet, but by then I knew I would. 😌 Coming round the last corner, I had a split second think about a bit of a sprint (I heard Jo Whiley in my head telling me I might like to…) but er, no. I stood in the finish funnel not quite believing I'd done it, went down to the café for a celebratory coffee, then walked home with a huge grin on my face. 😄

I'm not ashamed to say I spent most of the rest of the day firmly back on the couch. (Don't worry, it's not permanent. 😏)

When my time came in, I couldn't believe it. 29:50. 😮

W9R1 had been pretty horrible and I'd done about 4.5k. W9R2 had been much better, just under 5k. But I didn't expect that. No way.

It also meant I'd cheated graduation by a whole 10 seconds!

So this morning I went up and ran the park run course again with the app and Jo Whiley, this time buffetted by a gale and fair bit slower. Not bothered. At least I can say I've properly graduated now. 😎

Thanks to everyone here for all your support and advice. Not just people who've replied to me or read things I've written, but to everyone just for the general chat. It's very inspiring to read other people's stories, and I've learnt a lot from looking up old posts. When I had a nightmare W6R3, for instance, I looked it up and saw a lot of other people had had trouble with that run, which gave me the confidence to carry on.

What next? My brother was like 'You can aim for 10k in under an hour now!' My sister in law, who's a serious runner who's just done a half-marathon, wants me to sign up for a 10k with her in May. I hope she's not too disappointed I don't want to commit just yet. I have a lot going on, I need to keep myself going at uni and work out how I'm going to fit running into commuting back and forth to Durham. Plus there's the dark and cold to contend with. For now, my aim is to keep running, to hover around 5k, and maybe think about moving up after Christmas.

Once again, thank you *so much* for your support. Happy running! 🙂

[AlMorr Ambassador Graduate]

Congratulations Emily - m for graduating and completing week 9 run 3 of C25K. To get your graduation badge and the word 🎓 graduate next to your username leave a message on the October graduate post in the pinned posts on the right side of the healthunlocked C25K home page and tell the administrators that you have ran W9R3 😊 🏃

[jen2708]

Fantastically well done!

[UnfitNoMore Graduate]

Congratulations! We would have let you off ten seconds you know 😂😂. Great time.

Great to hear your uni is back on track too. Future running plan is sound, there’s no rush and maintaining this allows you to do 10k at some point in the future.

Hope you celebrated hard sat on that couch. Enjoy every run you do.

[Lallis Graduate]

CONGRATULATIONS 🍾🥂🏆🎉

[Reverie1 Graduate]

I so enjoyed reading about your achievement here, and how you managed to conquer your initial anxieties about the park run (very familiar to me from my own over-active worry-brain!) Many congratulations, and a very well deserved success - you should feel so proud of yourself and it definitely merits a lazy couple of days on the couch treating yourself : )

Very good luck too with resuming your PhD - I also had to take time out of my training/studies and although college were very supportive, it's not easy to cope with. But I have no doubt that you're capable of succeeding and it sounds like your supervisor agrees. All best wishes for your next steps.

[SubterraneanAlien Graduate]

Congratulations! What an inspiring story. I'm a bit scared of parkrun... Going to try it this weekend, hopefully.

[LittleNell83]

Congratulations. There is a lot to be said for consolidation runs and keeping at 5km for a bit. You can work on speed or stamina for a bit. For now I would just enjoy the running and, with everything else going on use the running for the break from it. The hills in Durham are good practice though

[skysue16 Graduate]

Many congratulations! Great post 😀

[Oldlady57]

Wow Emily, fantastic run & what a way to graduate!! Congratulations on a fantastic achievement not just your run but your return to uni. I applaudyou. All the very best for your future. I wish you well, graduate 🥇🎓👏👏👏

[uncle_wiggy Graduate]

Congrats on a great finish at parkrun. Doing my first this weekend, won't be aiming for your great pace tho, but hope to finish with the same smile! 😊 Awesome job getting the uni stuff and yourself back on track too, I wish you every success! 🏆

[ButtercupKid Graduate]

Warmest congratulations on your achievement ! 🥇⭐️⭐️⭐️ Clinical anxiety is so debilitating, and you’re doing a remarkable job of keeping it in its place day by day. You’re right to set your own pace. Keep on running when you can, and remember that if you can graduate from C25k you can do anything ! Enjoy your journey x

[Rec1971]

Well done you and great time for park run 👏👏