Well, mentally that was the toughest run yet.
Context: my work has peaks and troughs and the past three weeks are the biggest peak of the year. So much so that I’ve not been making people cups of tea but barking orders at them. Even my bosses. (MBTI INTJ - if those letters mean anything to you, you’ll understand.)So at short notice I’ve booked 10 days leave.
Also my family life continues to be challenging and I spent yesterday trying to hydrate for today whilst generally feeling a bit sorry for myself. I needed cheering up so I flipped through the films I’ve recorded but not watched. Something light and cheery. Which is how I recall Forrest Gump being. It must be a long time since I watched it! 😢 Went to bed a bit of an emotional wreck.
Anyway, up with the lark. Risk of rain and heat through today. Check the weather apps and see that 7am ish is the best time to run. Shave my chin and brush my teeth, running gear on, new playlist at the ready, come on, Jo Whiley, let’s do this!
Tail wind out. Warm up walk brisk to “American Idiot” and “All the small things”, getting the heart pumping.
Running starts and something is clearly wrong. No tightness in my calves. Thank you, foam roller!
But there is a tightness across my back and my chest, like when you feel the need to “crack” your knuckles. Crack! Something in my middle back clicked and took the very centre of my rib cage with it. Spent the rest of the run wondering whether this was an injury or what a mild heart attack feels like - never knowingly under-dramatic!
I’m motoring along when the usual heaving breath starts and the doubt begins. About 7 mins in today, which is something of a record. (Unfortunately this last the next 12 minutes or so.) For some reason I just can’t focus on the run or the music and I am stuck in my thoughts. “I can’t do this. I am going to die. If I just stop, no one will know. I can run again tomorrow instead.”
I reach the road sign that marked halfway last run. Look at my watch - a whole minute left to run. Now I’m thinking I’ve gone to fast, and part of that 12 minute doubt time was thinking I’ll never make it back home!
I cross the road (never before...) and turn back for home a minute early. This is part of the quitting mentality - the sooner I turn the sooner it will end! I run on and notice that I’ve been so worried about the fast speed that I’ve forgotten about my breath and my chest and quitting. I’m still at a reasonable pace and still running. I can do this.
The rest of the run was hard work. I didn’t come close to stopping but I was very very slow, grinding out the steps. The corner at the top of Sirens Hill has a headwind that almost stopped me, cartoon legs running and body suspended in space.
The run ends much more than 5 minutes walk from home - the first half was clearly much faster (and wind assisted) than the second (wind hampered).
Walking back I’m feeling pride for the first time. That was a hard run. No high, no calmness at all. But I’m really pleased I got there in the end, despite the demons doing their worst.
That was my 3rd run in 5 days, which may also be a factor in how hard I found it. As keen as I am to graduate, I am giving it a two day rest before my next run so I aim to finish Wednesday morning. That the leaves 2 days rest before my first Parkrun next weekend.
Whatever run you are doing next, enjoy it. And don’t listen to that part of your mind that wants you back on the couch x
W9r3 - only went and did it! 🥳
W9R2 completed!
Hardest run yet! But feeling good!
W9R2 😱😨😬
Almost there .... W9R2 ...
