Recalling a Meltdown

9 months ago, I had the ‘bad run’ in the programme and I came on here for help and you all came to my aid and made me pull up my boot straps and go out again.

healthunlocked.com/couchto5...

The same friends I referred to then, have just left having visited us for a few days. Yesterday I ran 9km, J &G had hoped to run with me - J is a very strong runner, but G’s ALS has now progressed so far that he would have been running with us in his new Segway wheelchair. Events overtook us, and they’d had a bad night’s sleep and needed to rest, so I ran on my own.

As I ran yesterday, I recalled my meltdown run and how I felt I ‘couldn’t' do it. In Italy they differentiate between knowing how to do something and being able. Therefore I know how to run and I can. My friend J is the same. G knows exactly how to run, but physically he is no longer able to do so.

With my epic Alzheimer’s Run The Year challenge J and G were my first sponsors, because they recognised a great cause, and despite having their own issues dealing with ALS, they wanted to be a support to me.

I am very blessed to have these lovely people as friends and I guess my message to all of us C25Kers, is sometimes you may feel that you ‘can’t' do this, but actually you can and we all do.

Sometimes we don’t know our own strength of character, and I know mine has improved immeasurably by observing G&J in their daily struggles to deal with ALS. G’s attitude is that whilst I am here and able, I can do everything unless my body physically stops me from me doing it.

So although I am a ‘J', I am going to channel my inner ‘G’ to make sure my run the year challenge is met.

Good luck to each and every C25Ker who is meeting their own challenges head on.

[Tbae]

What unsellfish strength your lovely friends and you have.

Moving and inspiritational.

What vulnerability and courage from all.

Puts your own unbelievable epic distance challenge into the stark reality of life for your friends.

Thank you Jan for sharing this.💫🏃‍♀️💫

[GoogleMe Graduate]

Bravo!

Sometimes it is assumed (because of the people we want to talk about and celebrate) that everyone who faces real adversity like this rises to the challenge (of course 'rising' takes many different forms, including a philosophical acceptance) but no so... and also, as here, one can still be tripped up by additional hurdles.

[Mummycav Administrator Graduate]

Thank you Hidden ...this is just what I needed today...I’ve had ‘one of those runs’ that left me despondent & doubting my capabilities...but you have set me straight...I can do it because my body is strong & capable...& I am still here...unlike my lovely friend that I lost in November, so, my straps are done up again too, thanks to you & this post & my lovely friends on here giving me the encouragement that I need ...I remember the ‘bad run’ post of yours & you are a wonderful, loyal & compassionate friend to J&G I have no doubt that they know that too...x

[Hidden in reply to Mummycav]

Mummycav - it is weird how we get tripped up by our own minds. You are strong and capable - goodness knows we’ve all seen that. I honour my friends here, because I am honoured to be one of their friends. When I look at what they deal with on a daily basis, I marvel at their fortitude and senses of humour. Their attitude defines their life together, sure we cry (and quite a lot I may say), but the laughter and fun we have together is immeasurable.

Your compassion and strength in the face of the loss of your friend, was so tangible I, like many others felt it over your posts.

I wish you all the best over the summer running.

JCR X

[Mummycav Administrator Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Hidden ...I am always amazed by the strength people find from deep inside when there seems to be everything against them...not surrendering to hardships, that is strength...xx happy summer running to you too xx

[Hidden in reply to Mummycav]

this one was for you...

jancanrun.com/2018/05/09/9-...

[Mummycav Administrator Graduate in reply to Hidden]

I remember reading that one & I had a tear in my eye reading it...I have a tear in my eye reading it now too...the support we have for each other is amazing...it’s like we know each other without really knowing each other...thank you Jan...that post means the world to me...I will take you, G&J out with me tomorrow & I’m sure my run will be a special one xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Mummycav]

I know sometimes the link is just there... hope you have a good one.

[Polly2810 Graduate in reply to Mummycav]

Well said mummycav!! Could not agree more. I’ve had months of just not having time to get myself out but back and loving it. Glad it helped you today. ☺️

[Razouski]

What an inspiring post. Your friends J+G have such strength, it's a lesson to us all. Thanks for sharing. x

[mrrun Graduate]

I always told you you could do it. It seemed l copy/pasted it over and over. I also repeat and will carry on repeating that we should not overcook and analyse to death, instead should simply go out there and run, one foot in front of the other, no other way but the right way.

Are you on target btw? Last count shows you are hitting it?

[Hidden in reply to mrrun]

Yes I know you are right - but sometimes the mind gremlins make me think I’ve bitten off a little more than I can chew...

I am up to date - in fact about 2 weeks in the bank, because I want to make sure I allow for illness/injury/ineptitude! Just hit the 800km mark today - which is not far off my total kilometres for 2017, that makes me feel good already. Travelling back to LHR tomorrow for a London long weekend - trainers are packed, although I do have cocktails booked for Saturday lunch...