This programme is entitled Couch to 5k. I have little doubt that there are some in this community who actually attain the 5K target in the allotted 30 mins. I'm certainly not going to be one of them. I know that really doesn't matter for the simple reason that this is absolutely not about who can run the fastest or furthest.
Quite the opposite. By running for 30 minutes everybody ultimately graduates with exactly the same time. As it should be. Whatever your age, history, shoe, short or shirt size, everyone of us have done something extraordinary.
8 and a bit weeks ago I pulled on a pair of trainers (borrowed from my son), an old t Shirt, a pair of swimming shorts (Speedos match) and proper sports socks and puffed and panted my way through 8 1 minute runs. I thought my chest was going to explode and my legs collapse. They didn't and there was enough progress in the seventh minute to encourage me to stick with it.
And here I find myself in Week 9. The running soundtrack has developed (who knew New Rose by the Damned has THE perfect running beat), a pair of very decent ASICs have replaced my son's borrowed shoes, a nice new TShirt is proudly sported and the new running shorts have arrived. Application of Vaseline (too much info?), drink on board and half a Snickers bar - off I go.
I run on the local Park Run course. My running app now measures my distance. 30 mins done.
Check app. 40 m short of 4K. Can't hurt? 4K banked.
Mr Johnson is telling me to warm down. He's also beginning to bid me goodbye. His work is done here.
I can see the end of the Parkrun course.
5k in 39 min 40 sec.
I am so so chuffed. I've only gone and done it. I'm 56. And I'm punching the air because I've got up off my backside and run and run and run.