Well, I've managed it, 4 runs now away from my garden and out in the real world, with real people, dogs and everything. I'm still alive and I didn't spontaneously combust when I jogged past another human being (although I think maybe they thought I might). My garden is happily recovering and my muddy jogging path is already sprouting grass again.
It’s still a bit scary and I find myself doing stupid things when I go past someone, like try to breathe normally (instead of the usual deathly gasp) or speed up (instead of my usual stagger) or suck my stomach in (can’t do anything about my backside). Basically, trying to look like I know what I am doing…. I’ve discovered I am actually capable of speech too, an exaggerated puff on an out-breath is easily mistaken for ‘Hi’, which is handy.
My new running top doesn’t reach the parts it is required to (a.k.a. my ankles) so I’ve taken to wearing a mammoth sized summer vest over the top .… I look some sort of mismatched running hobo.
I run early morning in the local rec and I’m becoming one of the regulars too, Mr and Mrs Spaniels do 2 or 3 laps with their …. Spaniels. Mrs ignores me and Mr says a hearty ‘hello’ with a smile that I can’t work out is of encouragement…. or disbelief at the sight in front of him. The Pink Pug - in its little pink vest trots its owner around for a quick lap. Crazy lady has been very un-crazy, but still marching round in her pyjamas this week. Others come and go but no one stays the full 30 mins and 6 laps, which I like!
It’s a good, quiet place for me to test my running brain as well as my running legs, the latter seeming to be a lot sturdier than my brain at the moment! It feels like a constant battle against some kind of gremlin or another and every new run is not only the physical challenge but a wrestle with the dark side too. I absolutely love running (even though I hate it at the time sometimes!!) and everything I am gaining from it, but all this contradictory stuff is making me feel so emotional! Which I never expected. Running is just running right? Er, no. Not for me anyway.
Anyway, having read some of the other posts on here this weekend my worries pale into insignificance. There is just so much incredible inspiration and determination that so many of you have, it spurs me on through all of the comparative silliness I am going through. I am going to make my own bum-covering flouncy running top and have ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ printed on it.
Thanks so much to you all for posting, please keep on, you are really are making a difference to other people’s lives xxxxx.