An awful start to a glorious run!

[RebeccaSK]

I know, I know, you all know me for my ups and downs! Decided to do 5k (or the best part of) this evening as I can't Parkrun tomorrow Got home to find my new shorts had arrived but it's Friday and I really wanted to drink wine, not run - but my husband refused to allow the gremlins to win and almost pushed me out of the door!!!! Straight away it felt AWFUL. After only a couple of minutes it really felt like a struggle. I kept going and made it up the start of the horrible hill but then had to walk the rest of it. It just felt horrible and I was running into the wind and.....yuk! Even found running on the flat really hard. Then, the buzzard overhead, the sheep playing around in the fields, the sweetpeas for sale outside the farm, the views over the south downs.......and then came the next two hills and a complete change of mindset. I was not going to defeated by this long, steep hill (the worst kind in my opinion). One foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other - I was barely moving but somehow I kept running (shuffling) until I got to the top and a nice bit of flat. A little it of downhill and then another horrible steep hill. One foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other - kept running. Only another 500m or so until home. I even managed to speed up a bit as I turned into my road. I love running!

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate]

Completely and hopelessly and wonderfully hooked! Yeay... go you!

A great run... wine now ?

[RebeccaSK Graduate in reply to Oldfloss]

Hubby just passed me some Galaxy!

[IannodaTruffe Mentor]

Over the top we go!

Great run, Rebecca.

Love it!!

[RebeccaSK Graduate in reply to IannodaTruffe]

Living where I do - in Mid Sussex - I'm lucky to be able to run in the country. Makes it difficult in the winter but I'm enjoying it for now! It helped that, as it started to get challenging running up the hill, that wonderful guitar intro to Sweet Child 'o Mine started playing!

[Hidden]

It wouldn't be you if it wasn't up and down or in this one, down then up....But I love your honesty about the challenges and the mood changes. But most of all I love your sheer bloody mindedness at keeping going. You are an inspiration to me and I think many, many others. I channel Old Floss slow and steady and I often think of you when running up the hill that kills.... actually that last bit didn't sound like a compliment but it is. I got new shorts too.... eyeball scorchingly bright hope yours are too!

[RebeccaSK Graduate in reply to Hidden]

You're too kind! About 16 years ago I had a period of the worst mental health of my life. I had always been very private about my struggle with depression but when I was signed off work for four months, I couldn't exactly try and keep it a secret so, I did the opposite - I spoke openly about it. I worked in the City at the time - a real work hard, play harder environment. My honesty resulted in other people having the courage to stand up and admit that things were hard for them - and the company I worked for at the time were AMAZING and provided the help and support we all needed. There was no downside to my honesty - even my close colleague who had never understood - or cared to understand - mental health issues took the time to learn, listen and love me anyway. At work, as a manager working in the NHS in a very difficult environment, I have been open about my mental health struggles and it has enabled my staff to come to me when they have found things tough. My gremlins are at their most powerful when I'm running but I know I am not alone in that. Somehow, in my spinning classes, I don't experience that self doubt. I push, push, push. I shut my eyes and push on. I wish I knew why I can do that in spinning but not when I'm running. However, there are others who don't have the confidence to post and I just hope that by silently and anonymously reading my posts they realise that they don't struggle on their own.