Good morning all! From the moment I stepped out the door this morning I knew this run was gonna be a struggle. The humidity was up and my energy and enthusiasm was low. I did my first wk 9 run yesterday and overall it went well. I felt strong. Today was another story, i had to fight for every minute. Maybe it was because I didn't take a rest day and my muscles felt tired or because I had nightmares all night long, nonetheless I pressed on. I used streets, houses, street signs as markers, anything, to reach that 30min. I told myself just make it to that street then if you need to you can stop. Well time after time I knew I had the option but refused to stop. Before I knew it I had one minute left. When Laura said I was done the relief I had was enormous. I had nothing left in my tank. It's funny how my mind wanders when I run. Some days I think of nothing but today it wouldn't stop. Negative thoughts mostly. ;( Running in the early morning darkness has advantages but the one thing I hate is seeing my shadow as I go under the street lights. What I see is disappointing. I see my shape (it looks larger than I feel especially after wks and wks of running), and I see my movement (it looks slow and a struggle). I try to divert my mind for the moment and remember I'm trying to do something about it. The odd person I pass along the way I greet with a friendly 'good morning' and I don't get a whole lot back from them. Maybe a nod or a mumble. I just wish one day one of these people would say to me "keep up the good work". Days like today I could have used that encouragement. I wonder what they think as I pass. I know I shouldn't care but I can't help but go there. It's days like today I could have used a running partner to keep my spirits up. It's days like today I want to go back to bed and start over. I don't know why I feel miserable..isn't running suppose to make you feel uplifted and in charge. Not today..I didn't think i was gonna make it..I did..big deal...grrr.
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