Oh forgotten are the days when I used to take running in my stride. Literally. I tied the laces to my runners and threw my hair back into a ponytail, ready in my tee-shirt and shorts. I grabbed the bike I'd not ridden in years and unchained it, gripping the handles tightly through nerves. I'd not been outside the house in years and here I was about to do this. 'I must be mad to do this ...or mad that I haven't done this?' My heart was beating with anticipation of the exercise ahead. On I perched and slightly wobbly I took off, rucksack on back armed with my fitbit on wrist, a bottle of water, a note bootk, pencil, some pitch cones that I borrowed from my daughter's cricket set, a clock watch and Laura. I clicked the stopwatch and it began counting the seconds. Just a few minutes of flat riding I would be at the local sports ground, where it has a huge green where I intended to be my training ground. This was where it was all going to happen. The ride there was effortless and when I got there I clicked the button to pause time. 5 minutes 12 seconds. Not too bad. I took the pencil and logged it. I didn't bother to look a the fitbit because I had cycled and not walked. At the close entrance of the park, I clocked the builders stood smoking outside what was to be our new property, so I bit my lip and edged toward them and asked how long until they would hand the keys over. I was getting restless back at home thinking about moving. 'Damned builders keep putting the dates back!' 5 more days and keys handover, they said 'Yes!!!' I was going to see a lot of this park as it would be right on the doorstep of my new home. Smiling and content with this news, I continued on and hit the cycle path through to the field. I laid the bike down and took out the pitch cones. 4 of them. 'Oiiii haha NO.' I called while some little terrier dog was about to take a piddle against my bike!I The owner laughed and apologised. I laid the pitch markers 30 paces apart in a square. I marked down in my note pad the distance of the cones and took out my water. It was going to rain, but oh well. I told myself come rain or shine I was going to do this! On went the headphones and I found the first podcast session. 'Breathe Karen....you can do this!!!' I psyched myself. The park was relatively quiet with only a few passionate dog walkers. I felt nervous but tried to block them out thinking about what I was about to do. I looked down at my feet in the runners I rarely wore and which still looked a new brilliant white colour. 'Not for long in this grass' I thought but to get to see them ageing and wear and tear on them surely would mean that I am doing something right. Looking down at them I caught sight of the unsightly belly that had grown to an overhang. This snapped my mind back into determination and on the podcast went. 'Laura sounds really nice. Reassuring' I thought. The minutes went on and on I plodded. I was far less fit than I initially thought. Just when my mind was filling with uncertainty whether I could do this, and with negative thoughts like how bloody useless I am, Laura's voice "well done keep it going! you're doing so well" and that was brilliantly timed. It was not easy. In fact, my calves felt like they had been lit on fire, and were burning. My brain felt like it was pounding out of its skull and my heart...wow my heart had not beat so fast in a long time. I tried to keep pace, something I had learned when I had trained as a county representative runner for both long distance and short. 'Pace yourself Karen' my coach would forever say. I heard both the voice of Laura and Keith my coach, and it really was like they were both present. I wanted to stop but Laura kept pushing. I kept wanting to quit, at one point I was crying while I was running. Mascara running down my face mixed with tears and sweat. My tee shirt clinging to me sodden. It was an uncomfortable and alien feeling. 'I can't do this' I actually called out at a couple of points and wanting to stop so badly I thought I might pass out. My calves felt like they were so tight and rigid now, as time passed I got slower and more tired but I didn't stop. I didn't quit. I cursed Laura out loud while laughing through my tears 'I hate you so much right now hahaha!!!' I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks, the veins in my hands were raised so high and so filled of blood I thought they may burst. I wondered if I might have a heart attack with the way my ticker was tocking. 'Oh nooo!' just when I thought that it was over there was more. 'AHHHHH!' I was beginning to get to my exhaustion point but I was really determined I would get to the end. 'Left, right, left, right, one, two, three, four, ' I tried. One foot infront of the other, my pace becoming not mere than an "American walk" but hey. I was still going. I hadn't stopped. I would 'do better next time,' I promised. And then "now walk it out for the last 5 minutes until the end of this song" I don't know how many times I ran around those blasted cones. I don't know how I made it even once. I was marching to the end dammit if I had to drag myself by my own tee shirt collar. I was going to throw myself over the finishing line. 'YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS' I shouted like a lunatic throwing mjy arms wildly into the air. 'HELL YES!' A passing dog walker looked back wondering what my mad cry was about and chuckled. I think she thought I was a little bit crazy, but that's Okay. I can live with that. I plonked to the floor laying face down in a star shape and you know I KISSED that muddy ground! I went to reach for my water and THE ABSOLUTE CHEEK. Some hound had grabbed hold of it and was trying to run off with it!!! 'Hey!' I laughed scrambling to my feet and after all that I CHASED that dog down. Goes to show you always have more energy than you THINK you have. And that water may have been covered in dog slobber. But I didn't even care, I earned it, iit was mine and I beat the bulge today.I did it and it half killed me but I did it. I got in 5,000 steps and earned Boat shoes badge in my fitbit too. Yay!
But I am going to have to watch those sneaky dogs next time. Oh Yes.
Edited to remove the image..
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allornothing
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What a great story of your first run!!! You did it!! And in a few months you are going to look back at this run and think 'I worked so hard to get to the end of 60 seconds and now I'm running for 30 minutes'. Amazing - you should be so proud! Can't wait to hear about your future runs and track your progress!
I get the feeling Laura and I will have a love hate relationship to begin with but if she can forgive me that -I will try to hate on her less as time goes on! I am really pleased that I have done this. Relieved of sorts too. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be,m though there certainly were moments I felt like I might keel over. I KNOW I am going to sleep tonight! Although I did this a day later than I wanted to start it, I'm going to do my next one on Sunday or Monday. Ideally Monday really so I can split them between Mon, Weds and Friday and have the weekend for Family activities. I made it outside, for this on my own, so I am going to try and go out with the family now too and try and have some fun. (Minus areas where doggy thieves operate !) I look forward to posting my next one!
Yes, she can get on your nerves sometimes - I remember one run waiting for her to pipe up and tell me to slow down to a walk, when she began talking I thought 'thank God I can stop' and she said "well done, you're halfway through!".
It never is as bad looking back is it? Even if it was terrible at the time! Those endorphins outweigh any pain for sure. Don't worry about the days too much either if you need an extra rest day here or there. The last couple of weeks I've been taking two rest days for varying reasons (muscles didn't feel ready for another run or just life in the way sometimes). I do miss my run days though! Try to keep it reasonably regular, cross off those runs as you do them and you'll be graduating in no time.
No you're right, at the time its ghastly but after you have had time to process it all I think as well as the adrenaline rush of it, you feel it isn't too bad. I think I will take the two rest days this time so that I can get on track as much as I can sticking to weekday sessions Mon, Weds Thurs as this best suits me. I can do it when my daughter is at school and it's just me. Beats sitting in doors alone. I have downloaded some healthy meal plans as well so I begun that today. No more sneaky choccy bars and carbohydrates are THE WORST when it comes to dumping weight on. For me anyway. I miss how I used to enjoy running and the freedom it gave me, and I hope that Laura helps me to regain that. Thank you for your support. Good luck to you too. x
A great post (blog-like). Well done. I doubt there is anything any of us can tell you about run I g given your history, but as support goes, there is nothing like it. I will watch your progress with interest 👣
That was lovely, thank you. And I think I am going to go sneak a peek at everyone else's posts tomorrow while I am recuperating, and lend some mutual support. You're all so awesome. And always write what you feel-express. or as I say "Let the language possess you"
Well done had the same feeling about Laura too now 6 weeks in love what she has done for me. I've lost over 1stone in weight and gained so much confidence. Keep up the good work it does get better promise. 😀
She's OK I just could have murdered her for the "just two more to go" I literally moaned at that point. If I can lose even 1 stone I will be over the moon.
Hey well done for getting out there. Massive achievement given what you've said and I'm sure as a previous runner you'll do this no problem whatsoever.
Be aware though there's another 26 runs in this programme and I don't think you'll be able to put on the fireworks display you've included in the photograph after every run. I look forward to a good graduation display though!
AHHHHHHH Laughs* you had to do it didn't you/ @ "Only another 26 to go" Where's my pokey stick!!! I get that there's a long way to go yes. But I think celebrating the victories as they come is something I will do. Each person is different in their handling and management. This was not an image that was to be used after every run I am not sure why you would have thought I would re-use the same image over? I removed it anyway.....For me though this was a massive achievement for me. I haven't been able to leave the house for YEARS. 4 years to be precise...so it was a multiple victory. I'm happy with that.
Sorry my words getting me into trouble again. I was just trying to make a joke about the cost of such a grand firework display in the photograph. You achieved a massive amount yesterday and it wasn't just about running. Please carry on and celebrate every time.
Yes, I think it will take a few repetitions personally for me to get back into this and call it "easy" I am so much less fit than I thought I was which I find both saddening and a wake up call. As for dogs...as long as they don't see me as a juicy chop to chew on I don't much mind. Thanks very much for your support.
That's some achievement getting out for the first time in years - and starting running aswell. And in front of so many people. Your body will remember and your mind will start to feel better, soon it won't be quite so hard. Keep posting, like the style!
Brilliant post. I really enjoyed reading that. A huge well done to you on all counts as it sounds as if you conquered a few demons there. I think the very first run was the hardest and yes I thought I was going to have a heart attack too, but we didn't!
I love that image of the dog running away with your water. Haha!
You've already made a courageous first step in starting this and I look forward to reading about your runs and progress. Go girl!
hurray, congratulations!!!!! you did it! the first step is always the hardest. and i really laughed at your description of 'passionate' dog walkers. Make sure to do some good stretches after runs to help your muscles relax properly so you don't get injured. can't wait to hear about run 2!! xxx
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W1R1 - Didn't think I had it in me!
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W1R1 Exhausted but did it.
