so the black dog has been beating at the door all week. i haven't gone to any of my classes i have managed my runs though.
i don't know whether it's the cold or the dark nights and dull days at this time of year. it takes all my effort just to get out of bed in the morning. i signed up for two 10k and i'm not sure i can even make them now
i read your posts and am envious and so jealous of how you enjoy your running
i enjoy mine too sometimes except for that black dog that nipping at my heels.
Then beat it off with a big stick and get out there and enjoy some running. It's fine once you're out there. Spring's not far off. Hang in there!
Thanks Miss wobble I'll give it a go
Sorry you are having a rough time. The days are getting longer, the weather is improving and all sorts of things are are in bud - even the birds are beginning to sing again. Spring is just around the corner so take heart! Glad the running keeps you going.
Thanks Ullyrunner x
Sue, sorry that you've had the black dog sniffing round you.
I went ran on a slightly different route last week after arguing with myself about getting out there and found some grounds that were literally smothered with beautiful yellow aconites which I can see will soon be overtaken by the snowdrops. That 's one of the things that cheers me no end when I manage to get out there.
The weather is improving and the light will help you. Soon you'll manage the classes again. I did an online course via Macmillan recently and one of the things that stuck with me was that although you may only be able to see clouds there is blue sky above them. Thinking of you.x
Thanks flossie I have noticed some blooms coming through. What was the course you did?
It was an online course called HOPE (stands for Helping Overcome Problems Effectively) and was run by Coventry University. I came across it via Macmillan. They have a headline explaining that it's 'Positive Psychology in Action'. They aim to provide you with tools to help you cope, some of which you may already be familiar with and some not. They do face to face courses but there are none where I live. I think they are available to help people with a history of depression. Try this link: hopeprogramme.coventry.ac.u...
Have you tried Professor Mark Williams book and CD on Mindfulness? Now at all wacky and he has a such a pleasant voice and outlook. All the best!
Don't dwell too much on what you haven't done, congratulate yourself on what you have done. You did your runs and that's great. The weather is getting to us all now, Feb is a gloomy month, thank goodness it's over soon. As for your 10Ks? Little bites you can't eat an elephant in one go can you? Keep nibbling away you'll get there.. xxx
Love that elephant quote! Never heard that one before but it's soooo true.
Love the elephant analogy Curly, its so true.
Curly that made me laugh. I could eat a whole elephant atm as depression makes me eat and sleep. But I get what your saying - elephants need to be taken slowly.
Thank you xxx
Hi Sue. The ironic thing is that doing exercise releases the endorphins to fight the black dog but when you're in it's grip then that is A LOT easier said than done. There really is only one way to fight the black dog and that is through medication. If you aren't already on it then a short course will get you through this. If you are already on medication then it may need increasing. Once you're free of it's grip then you can start your classes and running again (because you'll be able to) which will help keep it away. I know that you may feel emotionally-paralysed at the moment, but REALLY make it your priority to see your GP. Concentrate on that first and then running afterwards.
With you all the way. x
With you too, Sue. February is the shortest month, and we're quarter way through it. Even if you can't manage running now, you have done it in the past and will do it again. You aren't alone in this.
You're not alone Sue. Lots of good advice here, so just wanted send a hug and some solidarity. You will get through this. But, in the meantime, a big bunch of daffodils in the house is like having your own personal sunshine. Take care Sweetie.
What a wonderful idea xx
Thanks Kitty x
Thank you for all your support and positive messages. Today the sun is out I will buy daffodils, put the elephant back in the freezer and wrap up warm for a long walk. It's lovely to know I have support on here I work at home, alone, kids have flown the nest and sometimes its all loneliness but you have made me want to go on.
Thank you
That Black dog - put a lead on him and drag him out with you. If you wait for the motivation then you'll be waiting a long time. If you keep going out the motivation will follow you home. It's hard work fighting depression but there are lots of ways of tackling it and exercise is definitely on the list. A bunch of flowers is also recommended even if you have to buy them for yourself - great prescriptions! Wishing you a speedy recovery
Hi Sue, put your gear on and go for a walk just to the end of the road and back. You'll feel better for it and once you're out you may want to go further. I had a lovely time this morning on a run walk with Rico but then again he's a white dog
Lol thanks Graeme
I have a white dog too. A westie I try and take her but she can't go that far lol. I will defo put my kit on and then let's see where I end up. . X
Hi Sue
I can really identify with your post, but think you are doing fantastically this week to get out running when that black dog is snapping at your heels...... I've been feeling a bit flat too this week, after being in london for LWR, i had this week booked as holiday but most of my productive plans have fallen by the wayside, and that makes me annoyed with myself whilst also a little worried that my depression may return, a scary thought 
but i was told years ago to treat a bad day as a bad day and get over it and move on(not always easy though) no parkrun for me as my leg still playing up, like you i will be out for a walk enjoying the sunshineand sending the black dog backto his kennel. All best wishes to you, there are plenty of us im sure who feel similar, and well done for posting, its good to get it all out and talk things through...... 
Hi sue, please be good to yourself. I think a lot of people on here know where you're coming from, and everyone's dealing with something. Fresh air is always good whether it's runnkng or walking. We are nearly through the dark days, and the sunshine is only round the corner. Please enjoy your day, however you choose to spend it. Xxxx
Thank you sparky it's good to talk. Xxx
Hi Sue the black dog is nipping at my heels too. i started running as a way of keeping him at bay and it worked tremendously well. Then at the end of last week injured my knee so i have had to rest and keep off running for a week. ive never felt so low and frustrated in myself, and everything just seems to have lost its colour. But i know i will be out there as soon as i have recovered. Its one step in front of the other one breath in and one out. we will get there one step at a time. xxxxx
Hi Blistersister, so sorry about the knee, its a pain, pardon the pun, as running has become addictive hasn't it?
Some people just don't get it, but i'm feeling a bit brighter to know other feel the same sometimes. Get well soon
Thank you
On the flipside though you can please yourself. I used to do your job and I know it can be tying and that you work alone and are responsible for everything
Have you thought of joining your local jog group? There's bound to be one. I joined ours and I absolutely love it. Running round the dark streets in winter with strangers. Who'da thought it could be fun. But it can! You get a real mix of people, all enthusiastic and up for it, so the session flies by
Local authorities run the Jog groups so have a look on their website. Ours in called "JogDerbyshire" so yours will be along similar lines. Parkrun is something else you could get involved in. That's every Saturday morning
Thanks misswobble I will take a look.
Hi Sue, I understand totally xxxx
Gotta agree with all the above, even though its sometimes the last thing that we feel like doing, getting out there in the fresh air does help.
Spring is around the corner, the birds have started singing again, and slowly the mornings and nights are getting lighter.
Hope you feel brighter soon Sue, be kind to yourself xxx
Hi Sue!! I saw you said that you have children that have flown the nest.. have you told them how your struggling? I know people dont as they dont want to worry their ones but i am 24 and would be distraught to know that my mum was feeling lonely and down and hadnt told me! Perhaps you should mention it if you havent already also i bet they are WELL proud of you for completing c25k flippin heck:)
Kimberley xxx
Thank you so much Kimberley, I have mentioned it but I think unless you suffer yourself its hard to understand. And boys, well, I don't know. Anyhow, I have had a brighter day, bought some yellow flowers to add sunshine to my home, and have planned to do things next week, which hopefully I will manage to stick to.
Hang in there...the black dog comes growling at all our doors sometimes....it is really hard at times but it's that feeling you get after when you've achieved it that keeps you going...you are doing great, don't beat yourself up either....well done
I really love your description, never thought of depression being separate from my own twisted thoughts.. a dog nipping at my heels is definitely more manageable than dealing with the mess that is my own head. Silly chihuahua, Down boy! Get!
Beating the dark?
The dog 
The Black Dog Returns 
Today, W9R1, I bored the dog
Running with dog
