Triathlon just means I'm not very good at three different sports.

[dozzer19]

(Saturday) The Dozz-ville Challenge Award For The Discombobulated

Do not worry. I am not suggesting YOU are confused about life in general. Only one of us has lost the plot and we all know who that is.

Numbers are growing by the hour - we'll soon have more supporters than the coalition. If you have not yet signed up, do so. Otherwise Captain poppypug (ents and haberdashery div) will set the pugs on you.

There are some excellent charities being mentioned but if you don't have a favourite, put your money in a collection box on the desk at the newsagents.

Fancy, within a month I will have done a triathlon! And they said I wasn't the 'sporting type'. I will track down the Brownlee postbox and pose for a photo - my sporting equal. Maybe I should aim for Ironman within ten years! (I'll go off and check what that entails before committing - aah, a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bicycle ride and a marathon 26.2-mile. Hmm, maybe not.)

I will continue to ask you to join. If you don't, I will start to demand. Only 30mins of each discipline and we're not too fussy about style.

[Hidden]

Hoping to be fit enough to report for duty.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Hidden]

I truly believe you will succeed!

[AncientMum Graduate]

We had a tintinnabulation but the wheel came off

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Oh no! What can the team do to help?

[AncientMum Graduate]

Do I get go faster stripes on my tea cozy swimming hat with feature spoutette ?

[AncientMum Graduate]

Morning Dozz, I'm up and at 'em and have been since 't early hours ( oh the joys of teenage daughters and late night parties! ) Knees a bit crook this morning but never fear, am rocking a 1980s Tubigrip leg-warmers look. I will not return to the injury couch, I have a triathlon to train for. Cool limping my friend

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Get those adc's round to Major Waletta's and she'll give good instructions on sorting out and clearing up.

[Beads Graduate]

Am I allowed to cheat? thetriproject.co.uk/casestu... The swim and the run probably (hopefully) won't take 30 minutes, but the bike will probably be close to an hour. Of course, there'll be some practice beforehand.....

Need to find a tin to take my quid though.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to Beads]

Pah, someone has nicked my idea. Mine is better because it's got a better title. Go on then.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Good-oh. Am imagining myself dashing and streamlined cruising through the local pool leaving all around in my wake. The trip through Fanghorn has been a nightmare today. Had to stop to buy in provisions to calm down before reaching Isengard. How slowly can one drive a Mini Countryman? 35 in a 60 zone for miles upon miles. Sitting in lay-by stuffing face to relax, just need that cup of tea now. You ask why I could not eat at Isengard - Sauron does not do eating between meals. Eating to de-stress is even less approved of.

[lizziebeth57 Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Oh no - the store is well stocked with healthy provisions for just such occasions, but, we each need to work out a way of making sure we have our supplies with us at all times. Or the urge for whole or half toblerones ( stuffed in the mouth all in one go like captain poppy pug) will prevail. In any case, hope you are relaxed now.

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to lizziebeth57]

I'm afraid it was a whole mars and snickers.

[lizziebeth57 Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

We all know that 'A Mars a day is helps you work rest and play' and Snickers used to be called Marathon...so could have been much worse! Hope you had a restful night.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Great reaction to The Dozz-ville Challenge Award For The Discombulated - advertise to all - even those of us not on HA.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Oops, am thinking health anonymous!

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Thank you for your assistance on the long road to my birthplace. That must surely make me an Orc?

[I_will Graduate]

Did I miss something? Was busy changing a string and getting paid in flowers...

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to I_will]

Miss something maybe, but possibly you were ripped off with the flowers.

[I_will Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Perhaps I'll strew them about me on my next run

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to I_will]

Don't mix them up with the dodgers. I don't think we picked up all the unfinished packs after victory week.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Thanks matey.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

We all lose it sometimes pops.

[dozzer19 Graduate]

They came from Isengard.