Lack of Support (and no, I'm not on about Sports Bra's!)

Hi,

Just wanted someone to give me a lift really, and tell me I'm doing this 'running lark' to benefit myself!!!

I actually graduated just over a month ago and have continued running 3 times a week, 30 minutes for 2 runs, and slowly building up the time on my weekend run to what now stands at 42 minutes and 5.16km....

Well this was the 2nd try at C25K, as on the 1st attempt I tore the cartilage in my knee and was told to stop for 6 weeks, which I did, started again, and here I am now.

Well, whilst chatting to family members last night, I mentioned that my knee was hurting again, and was told that I should stop this 'jogging business' as all I was doing was injuring myself, and it was doing me no good! I was rather shocked, and said the exercise was indeed doing me good, and getting me off the couch and making me happy! I was then asked when I was due to finish the programme, and when I replied that I had indeed finished it over a month ago, was asked, why on earth are you still jogging then, if you have done what you set out to do!!!!

When I said that I was hoping to continue, and run for longer distances, and I was now running in the region of 3 miles plus, I was told, "3 miles, that's not really a Marathon is it?" I did reply that no it wasn't, but that I had gone from hardly running for 1 minute to running for 42 minutes in a little over 3 months, I was mighty chuffed with myself!

Sorry for the long story, but just feel very deflated today, and actually not on top form for my run later today... (I do have an appointment at the GP on Monday so will discuss my knee pain then!)

Thanks for listening!

21 Replies

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  • Sending a virtual hug. My response to such things (luckily not very often or there would be words!) is to flick the 'v's and remind myself that it can be lonely trying to do the right - rather than the popular - thing. Your change can make other people feel uncomfortable because you're upsetting the status quo. As long as it helps you keep doing it and take no notice: their churlishness is about them, not about you. But... make sure you talk to your doctor about your knee and listen to your body.

  • Ask your family to go running with you and when they want to stop after a few minutes they'll understand what an achievement it is! It took me nearly 2 years to "graduate" through injury and work, but I'm there now and rightly proud.

    You should be very proud of yourself - you are a runner! You can build distance and speed later if you want to, or just stick to a moderate 5k. You are healthier than you were before you started. Keep going if your knee permits, and if not try something else to keep the fitness going. I took up triathlons (I don't enjoy the running bit, I prefer the cycling) and my friends and family thought I was mad, but each time I run I feel great afterwards and I'm more cheerful than before.

    Keep going - there's a world of runners out there cheering you on!

  • You've come to the right place for support and I'm sure you'll get loads about your post.

    First of all really well done for having the courage to start and finish the programme and for continuing your running. It's hard but then if it was easy everyone would be doing it. And there's the rub. Sometimes other people just don't get why we would ever want to put our bodies through the grind and sometimes success in others brings other feelings to the surface like

    guilt (" I should really get some exercise myself") or

    awe ("I could never do that") or

    fear (" the person I love is changing and I'm frightened I don't know them any more") or even

    jealousy ("who do they think they are. Running at their age/with sore knees/with all that weight, etc.") Take your pick.

    Do you see where I'm coming from?

    Ignore all the negative comments and surround yourself with positive people and encouragement. We get it here so come and visit often for support.

    What you've done, and are doing, is a fantastic achievement that is probably extending your life, strengthening your bones and doing wonders for your health and wellbeing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Now, get the knee checked out and away you go again πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

  • I've had some of the negatives to, and have either just ignored them or slapped them down. I don't talk about it to the negative folk anymore..

    But I think you may need to strengthen the muscles around the knee for support. There are excercises on here for knee pain, check them out then carry on to 10k in time..😊

  • You will always get naysayers who, for whatever reason don't want you to succeed or get fit, so start to pull the rug from under you to destabilise you. Lots of folks like that in life who are less than capable in their own lives so might seek to rumble yours.

    Most often though, it seems to me, that they are the least knowledgeable and talking out their cap! You could ask them what facts they have to back up their statement.

    I get this about weight loss, eg "you have got to your target weight now so you can stop". You never stop! You maintain your weight by eating healthily for life. Exercising and looking after your health is not negotiable, so ignore them and do what's best for you.

    My mate is a knee expert and he runs, skis and does triathlons at home and abroad and he says keep running! He was very good to me when I began my weight loss journey and was then a non-runner. Now I have lost loads of weight my knees feel much better, thankfully. I shall keep on running and I feel my knees are much stronger now. I had horrible aching joints but are much better since losing the lard.

    C25k is done slowly and steadily and only involves minimal amounts of jogging to start with. It's not like anyone is expecting you to run a marathon straight off the couch.

  • Some people just can't handle change. In themselves or others. A friend of mine had the same thing when she gave up smoking. Instead of supporting her amazing choice, her family (all smokers) kept offering her cigarettes and telling her the damage was already done and she was being stupid (and selfish for no longer letting them smoke in her house)!

    Don't be put off by the negative numpties. You've achieved something amazing. You're building on that and extending your achievement, something so many people wish they could do but don't have the guts or the discipline.

    You carry right on being fabulous (but get your knee checked too). Huge hugs!

  • In addition to the excellent advice that others have given, I would just add this: when moments like this come up again, when people you care about question your choices, just ask yourself who you're doing this for. I run for myself, I don't run for others. It makes me happy and healthier. I run for me.

  • I think everything has been said regarding negative people. However just think about the emotional well being benefits running brings. Think of the 'you' time' time to think and reflect without the world interfering. I am running once a week at the moment whilst a concentrate on building strength. I have knee and muscle pain both my GP and my Pysio say running has not caused this it has just highlighted the weakness. Since doing these exercises my runs I do do are faster and stronger and less painful. Although it doesn't feel like it at the time but running is good for the soul!

  • What great progress you have made, and are still makingπŸƒπŸ½πŸƒπŸ½πŸƒπŸ½πŸƒπŸ½πŸƒπŸ½

    As others have said - check the knee out, and if Ok - strength and flex excercises might be useful. I have found body balance and Pump really helpful strengthening my old knees!!

    Sabotage from others is always shocking for us to handle, so, don't engage. Managing change is always a challenge - you have achieved so much, even in the face of injury. Hurrah for you 🎏🎏🎏🎏🎏

    This forum is a safe place to air our concerns - hurrah for the forum- hurrah for C25K - life changing - woo hoo! πŸ™‹πŸΌ

  • Ignore what others say, you are doing the right thing for you! It sounds like you are enjoying it too, please don't let others put you off. Be loud and proud! I agree you should invite them along on your run, if they are not runners already they will only try it once!

    I have just begun using the knee exercises davelinks mentioned and am really finding them helpful so worth considering perhaps? Go to nhs.uk and key in knee exercises in the search bar, there is then a link to exercises for runners.

    Get your knee checked then keep on running, you are doing just brilliantly!

  • Hi there, well, I agree with everything that has been said here, would say exactly the same myself. It's really disappointing isn't it when you could do with a bit of encouragement or just a bit of acknowledgement of what you have achieved by those around you, and they just pour cold water over it!

    My immediate thoughts were, these people are quite obviously non-runners, probably totally inactive, if they had any knowledge at all they would have some understanding of what it takes to train for a marathon, let alone actually run one!

    As regards your knee, my only suggestion would be, if it continues to niggle, increase your rest days. I kept getting over use injuries - which is why it took me so long to graduate. I gave myself a break and ran twice a week, and have been doing so for over a year. I ran my first 10 miler last weekend and feel great.

    Good luck with your progression to 10k, no rush, it'll be waiting for you when you're ready πŸ˜‰

    You are amazing and don't you forget it!

    Mx

  • Thanks everyone for all your amazing replies!!! You have made me feel so much better!!!! As for the knee, I have just printed off the knee exercises on the NHS web site as suggested, many thanks, and may give those ago tonight, and if I do go for a run, will make it shorter than the normal 30 minutes, (don't want to do any lasting damage to my knee before my GP appointment on Monday).

    Thanks again, you really are a great support, on this forum, and I take you all on every run I do, and even shouted out the other day in the middle of a field, a few of your names that I see often on here, and thanked you for joining me!!!

  • Aww - they just don't get it - or maybe they do and are a bit jealous and ashamed it's not them!

    You're doing great. You'll be mentally and physically stronger for the running. The knee can be sorted - probably just need to do some strengthening exercises.

    Families are sometimes the worst at undermining your efforts - I'd pay good money to see them run 3 miles!

  • I can't think of anything to add to all the replies so far. But it does make me glad that I have not had any negative comments from friends. Only support and admiration.

  • Keep doing this for you and don't listen to them! You are doing a fab thing and don't let anyone put you off xxx

  • Hilarious that people love telling us "running will ruin your knees"! Of course exercise will cause discomfort in different areas of the leg but there are many ways to manage that. From time to time, I have had niggles - ny knee got stiff while on C25K and I discovered strength and flex exercises that I did on rest days. Think it was caused by the fact I don't move my knees much when running and they got stiff. When I see people hobbling about and doing no exercise, I can see that being inactive is going to be much worse than moving. I feel stronger, fitter and my legs are stronger as a result of running. Also my sense of achievement, confidence and general wellbeing are fantastic. Keep going!

  • You're doing great. It stinks when those around you aren't supportive, but on the plus side running is 100% about you and making yourself feel better physically and mentally. Hopefully they see the light someday, but don't let them put you off in the meantime.

    Get that knee looked at though. Are your shoes due for replacement?

  • Thanks runswithdogs, my shoes are only about 3 weeks old, and I got them just after having my gait analysed, so don't think that is the problem. Have to see what the docs says next week. X

  • I think sometimes these comments are a weak attempt to be funny, someone told me if God had intended us to run he wouldn't have given us wheels... take no notice, you're doing brilliantly.

  • Isn't it amazing how many people who don't run and have no medical training assume they know better than you about how much damage you might be doing to yourself?

    They always profess to know a friend of a friend whose 2nd cousin twice removed had a knee problem when they started jogging.

  • You've done absolutely wonderful. Although your family may have gone about this the wrong way, they are just worried and care for you. I'm sure they are proud really; but more concerned about further injury.

    Well done again on your accomplishment and long may it continue for you :)

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