Hi folks

I got up earlier than usual this morning and went out for an 8.30am saunter along the Thames. Weather was a bit dull and decidedly chilly too so I was glad of my long sleeved top. Not that much to report today, apart from the fact that my legs held up for the non stop distance of 7K. I had my compression shin guards on underneath my leggings so I felt pretty well ok for the duration.

The only part of the run which made me speed up, was this impossibly tiny wee woman - can't have weighed more than 6 stone - who was wearing a knapsack which I presumed was laden down with concrete blocks, but she bloody well overtook me! The competitor inside of me was awakened and I sped up, trying to keep pace with the miniature woman when all of a sudden she stopped! She started walking, and I sort of had to keep face by keeping my rather overly fast pace up! "Oh Daaaan, you twit!" I admonished myself. "Why do you get yourself into these scrapes, you total dufus!". I had to keep going fast so that she would think "Wow, that guy is speeeeedy!"

I managed to keep running at this ridiculous pace (1K in 5'15sec) and thought I must be miiiiiiles ahead of her now, so she won't catch me up. I slowed down a tad....when suddenly, I heard a familiar sound. It was the concrete blocks inside the knapsack sound. The damned woman had obviously started running again and despite the mega distance I'd put between us, she was catching up! Dammit! Her footfall got louder as I put my foot down once again.........."she's getting closer" I screamed at myself. THIS WAS WAR! I was not going to be overtaken again I'd decided, and somehow mustered as much energy as I could to keep pressing forward.

Kerplunk...bonk...bang....kerpleuunk...I kept hearing the noises getting closer when suddenly, the clouds parted and a beam of sunlight shone down just on me. I heard angels sing "Allelulah!" as my body went into slow motion with the theme tune of Chariots of Fire playing in the background.....

BACK TO REALITY.... Sorry. My mind plays tricks on me sometimes. I was reaching Richmond Bridge and the questions started to pour into my mind - "How long would I have to wait for the lights to change?" - "What if she overtakes me after all that effort? - "What if.....hang on? .....What the?......She's stopped!"

She had as well. Either she'd given up trying to overtake this running adonis or she'd reached a particular part of her run which told her to slow down again to walking pace. "AhAA!!!" I shouted in glory. But I still had the road to cross and I wasn't gonna slow down. As luck would have it the lights went red JUST as I approached them and I sprinted across the road, like the police were after me for being in possession of impossibly clingy lycra leggings!

She never did follow me and obviously took a different route, because I just HAD to slow down and I never heard the concrete block in knapsack sound ever again. THANK GOD!

Got in and did my stretches and happily discovered that my 5K distance was a very pleasing 29 mins (and some change) and the 7K in 41 mins. So it just goes to show that when there's a bit of competition, it don't half get your ar*e moving!!

Happy running folks!



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21 Replies

  • WELL DONE DAN! :) :)

    Brilliant post - as usual! Thank you!

  • Funnily enough I was out running (with my concrete block) this morning and this guy kept overtaking me ;-)

  • I run like a concrete block so it wasn't me! Lovely post Dan , well done x

  • Ah the elation and depression of competing against someone doing fartlek training.

  • Tee hee that was really funny! She must have been a serious runner if she was training with a bag full of rocks!

    Just think, your paths might keep crossing! Still, it would up your pace a bit. LOL

  • Well done... That 10k is right there, ill be coming up behind you with my enormous panther sack to ensure you do :)

  • Juju, thank God you're a woman. I wouldn't want a man saying that sentence!!

  • Oh yes I see that now I just nearly choked on my toothpaste laughing...!!!

  • You have a tendency to come out with some absolute corkers on occasion!

  • Oooohhhhh Dan I'm so sorry I passed you without speaking just didn't realise it was you, maybe next time!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only kidding, wasn't me ;)

  • Oldgirl stop sneaking up behind me like that! It's unsettling :-)

  • Chuckle. LOL. I like this forum. :-)

  • Great post, as ever.

    I must confess that when I run around the park, and I approach a 'Yummy Mummy' I do make a bit of effort to look 'a bit more credible'. This simply means, run a bit quicker, and try to look less likely to have a heart attack. I don't know why I bother, like they are remotely interested in a bloke my age. Not only that Mrs. B. has told me I am not allowed to be interested either!

  • Try it with the yummy grandma's we are not immune ;)

  • i do the same and some do it back funny post mr d

  • Cheers moger!

  • Just a thought but may be she slowed down, stayed behind you & changed direction because she thought you were up to no good & you were making her a wee bit nervous. It could be those tights of yours. I've seen the photos.

  • Me? Up to no good? In my attire? Perish the thought!

  • Thought of you this morning Dan,. Always try and grab a window seat on way to work for the ridiculous reason that coming into Balham there is a stretch of parkland where you often see runners and it sets me up for the long day ahead (deep down I am still happier watching others put the effort in than do it myself). There was a chap in black lycra leggings and yellow top that bought your picture to mind. About 20 yards ahead a slightly built girl with a big knapsack on her back striding out. Had to suppress a laugh at the thought of this mystery woman popping up all over london to torment people in black lycra.

  • Hahaha! She's the Phantom Follower of men in tights! SHE HAS TO BE STOPPED!!

  • on problem mr d keep up the running

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