Couch to 5K
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Big Up to Jigglemooce who gave me the brilliant tip of "double bagging" my giblets in a secondary pair of boxer shorts! My initial thought was - "That's gonna be pretty uncomfortable" but it wasn't!

So clad in more lycra than George Michael wears when he goes clubbing, I set out on this mornings run at 6.29am. I was glad to have worn my long sleeved Karrimor top over my T shirt cos it was brass monkeys out there. The London temperature has dropped dramatically from being unbearably humid to bloomin' chilly round the hips. It's no wonder us Brits always talk about the weather.

Decided on a different route today, just to mix it up a bit and keep interest. Warm up walk done, I jogged gently through the first K and into the 2nd. Cruising like lycra panther, my running shoes gobbled up the kilometres with ease......until the 3rd K. Suddenly my legs felt tired and heavy. "Oh nooo!" I thought. "I'll have to slow down a bit and try and conserve energy. Perhaps it was the extra weight I was carrying with the secondary sack holders? No, it couldn't be that. I was just tired! Working pretty intensely has definitely made me feel that THIS run wasn't going to be anything to write home about OR indeed to write HERE about!

Pushed on through the 3rd K and into the 4th using my arms as driving pistons, and telling my legs to not let me down. There are some mornings I just know will be slow and I was mentally preparing myself for a 5K in about 32-33 minutes. I've gauged my speed and effort to roughly guess what my finish time will least I think I have! So eventually I came to a point on my route where I "guessed" the 5K mark was. I kept running and fished my phonoe out of my pocket to see the distance covered. ONLY BLOODY 4K! "Oh, damn and blast!" I said to myself. "Shall I just stop and walk home from here? Or carry on for another K?". I decided on the latter even though it was killing me. I could hardly drag one leg in front of the other, but I told myself that when LAURA cooed in my ear during the training, she used to say keep pushing to the end and you'll feel good about it. I wasn't feeling that good about anything at this stage but kept going, looking at my phone - 4.4K........4.7K......."God this is taking FOREVER!" I said. 4.8K........4.99......5K!!!! AND STOP!

My groin has started to niggle me a bit, though through all that tight lycra I'm surprised it knew it was running at all! I stopped and had a stretch and that seemed to get any discomfort sorted out. I walked home puffing and blowing and didn't even bother about looking at my time. I was pleased to have just completed the 5K distance, and I wondered how on Earth fellow runners like, Juicyju, Aftabs, Malcy, ianoddatruffe etc all seem to go waaaaaaay past 5K with ease! You guys who do that, have my total respect!

Got home and made sure to keep quiet as Mrs Dan was still asleep. I stretched for a good ten minutes, making sure my legs were all ok, I peeled off my layers of lycra and threw them in the washing machine, then popped up for my shower.

Whilst drinking my smoothie of rasberries, strawberries and blueberries mixed with raw oats and fat free yoghurt (and cranberry juice for the liquid!) I lazily looked at my phone. "May as well check my time for the laugh" I said.

Imagine my complete and utter surprise when I saw the figures - 5K in 29'10 secs!

What??????? How????? Bloomin' 'eck?????

Must've been the lycra eh?.............

17 Replies

:D Priceless blog! You are amazing, well done. Cheers, Linda


Thank you Linda! :-))


Well Superman does wear his undercrackers on the outside! ;) Wow well done Dan, what a lovely surprise...


Excellent result Dan.

Of course looking at this analytically, if one set of underwear gives you a 5k time > 30 minutes and two sets gives you a time < 30 minutes, then you should obviously take this further.

Perhaps three sets next time, or two sets and a jockstrap - maybe even a thong? This could open up (not literally of course) a whole new running programme.

Keep up the good blogs - they are great. :-)


I am liking this "multi pants" idea......


Stop looking at your b****y phone, Dan and run, would be my advice. Isn't it great when you get a surprise like that, although being a cynic I always suspect a satellite malfunction. Good to hear groin and bits are holding up (or should I say, are being held up,) successfully.


you are right! I should stop looking at my bloomin' phone, but I am so mentally programmed to NOT go any further than 5K at the moment and to see the magic "5.00" come up means I can stop and breathe like a human!!


scores on the doors:

1. Amazing time..I am v jealous

2. Easy solution for your groin very very tight thick lycra pants..only one pair required...the boys will be happy

3.Glad to see you've found your inner panther

4. Once you find your 'pace' and zone you will find you can go on and on

well done you


You're jealous of lil ol me? The Panther that can run for DOUBLE the distance I can just about do?!! Yikes! I wonder where one can purchase Super Pants like the ones you mention? I will hunt them down, like........a thing.......that hunts things down.....


"Double bagging your giblets"!?!? Haha! Priceless! Xx

1 like

Thank you for the blog gave me a good giggle and great time under that magic 30 minutes oh how I dream of that one day x kate x


Great time well done. You will always have to wear your lucky pants now hehe.


This has made me chuckle!! I won't be able to hear the term "double bagging" again without laughing....


If you use Endomondo on your phone you can get Lady Endomondo to talk to you about distance, time and lap time. Although her voice isn't the most alluring I've ever heard it is useful and would stop you having to look at your phone for info. And if you tucked her into your double-bagged giblets.....well, I'm sure they'd all have a great time together. As was yours of course!


I'd forgotten about this! Good idea Ned. Ta. Watch out giblets! Lady Endomondo is gonna be keeping you guys company...!


Stop it you two, you are being rude.Enough of this smuttiness. You will stay behind and write 100 lines "Lady Endomondo will not be going anwhere near Daniel's giblets".


[Smacks hand]!!


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