Okay, first things first, I have to apologise for misleading you all yesterday by telling you that I had run 27.28 at Killerton Park Run. I am sorry. The official timing took some time to get through and is confirmed at twenty seven minutes and twenty four seconds. I still don't believe it, but my body is telling me today that I did it. In fact that I overdid it. I have lots of little niggles, which I am sure will be ok in a couple of days time. I am not gloating ....that was a hard won 4 seconds, I tell you.
Endomondo had previously told me that my PB 5k was 28.09 but that was the same run that it told me my PB 1k was 3.46, which it must have stolen from somebody else's satellite, so I didn't believe any of it. I have had times around 30 minutes, but inconclusive. My secret weapon however is the ****ing gates, eighteen ****ing gates in total on my usual 5.6k course. Now most of these ****ing gates are latched, some swing away and some towards, some are wood and some are metal but they ALL slow me down. I considered vaulting but that is asking too much of this tired old dog, so I perfected the technique of opening eighteen ****ing gates in the shortest possible time and reckoned I was only losing about five seconds on each one. AND THERE YOU ARE. The maths works perfectly. I beat 30mins by 96 seconds, which when divided by 18 means I was taking 5.33 seconds per ****ing gate, leaving me with the explanation of my extraordinary time.
So there is the logic.
Oh, and Mrs da Truffe, who is better educated than what I am, says they are called kissing gates. Well, you live and learn.
Enjoy your running.
OK, THIS IS AN EDIT.
Following Oldgirl (you know she is ALWAYS right) making a cryptic comment about losing a gate, I redid the maths and of course I beat 30 mins by 156 seconds which means all my careful calculations are just a load of *******s.