W5D1 - running therapy

[BrainRuns]

Great day today for running. I stopped trying to play my most upbeat songs and just played the sad songs I wanted to hear and allowed myself to be sad, and get lost in the music. And that helped so much to distract from my pounding feet.

I think also now the runs are longer I've slowed down and am not constantly thinking isitoveryet isitoveryet isitoveryet??????? And just getting into it.

Even better, after it finished I managed to keep going, and then even sprinted a bit, allowing my feelings to drive me.

Also I've been watching the American biggest loser NONSTOP and it has been pretty inspiring! Feel like I'm starting to 'get it' in a way I didn't before. I guess before I would push myself because I felt I should, I have too, because I'm not good enough at anything and never have been. And then I would stop and fail and feel awful and give up.

But now I'm starting to edge towards pushing myself to help myself, because it will help me, and will feel good (after!) - not trying to prove something.

oh god I sound like one of them

[KatieW Graduate]

So much of what you say is familiar to me. Running has given me so much more than just increased fitness. The starting 'to get it' I felt too, I could just get on with it without thinking too hard about the end. It doesn't matter how you get your inspiration, or anything. Realising you're doing this for you is a huge deal. You should be proud of that.

I started to run after my 7th failed IVF cycle. There is nothing in the world that'll make you feel more of a failure, as a wife, as a woman, as not being able to have children. Yet I now feel I have achieved something here even though I haven't graduated as attempted my last 2 runs but had to stop due to pain. I'm taking 2 weeks out to recover, will swim and row instead. Cried all the way home from last failed run, but have a plan and now feeling positive. Keep us updated, maybe we'll graduate together!

[Hidden]

Who told you you're not good at anything? You're right about doing this to help yourself though. I don't know if this applies to you but when you step out of your comfort zone you also step out of other peoples' comfort zones. That's when you can inadvertently let their negativity get to you and that can sabotage your attempts to excel at something. I wonder if you have had that happen to you?

When I started to lose weight a neighbour got snappy with me about it. When I was going out running her husband seemed to pop up and tell me to take it easy, don't do this, don't do that and so on. I've also had a couple of other people try to put me off. Much more of it and I will take up boxing!

Enjoy your runs, enjoy improving your health and start thinking more positively - because here's something you have proved you are GOOD at. Enjoy the rest of your runs. With best wishes.

[BrainRuns]

Thanks TT - thanks for telling me your story. I hope we graduate together too! x

Thanks fitmo - sucks that people get jealous at you - they should be inspired! For me I suffered abuse from my family and ex-partner, so my confidence has been pretty far in the gutter for awhile. I get a great sense of achievement out of my running successes Enjoy your runs too x