Great day today for running. I stopped trying to play my most upbeat songs and just played the sad songs I wanted to hear and allowed myself to be sad, and get lost in the music. And that helped so much to distract from my pounding feet.
I think also now the runs are longer I've slowed down and am not constantly thinking isitoveryet isitoveryet isitoveryet??????? And just getting into it.
Even better, after it finished I managed to keep going, and then even sprinted a bit, allowing my feelings to drive me.
Also I've been watching the American biggest loser NONSTOP and it has been pretty inspiring! Feel like I'm starting to 'get it' in a way I didn't before. I guess before I would push myself because I felt I should, I have too, because I'm not good enough at anything and never have been. And then I would stop and fail and feel awful and give up.
But now I'm starting to edge towards pushing myself to help myself, because it will help me, and will feel good (after!) - not trying to prove something.
oh god I sound like one of them