Well.... it has been a while... and I had begun to think that, this time...I was not going to get back.
But... as I have said on more than one occasion... it is hard to keep an old snail down.
Events over the past weeks have tried their best, to floor me and times still have the potential to be tricky... as they are for many reasons, for many of our forum friends.
What has kept me going, kept me buoyant and kept me moving is of course...you...all of my forum friends.
Reading your posts reading your replies, following the progress of our newest runners on C25K, our repeaters and returners and the folks here on the next stage of their running adventures. Reading and replying to folk, whilst scattering my random rambles here there and everywhere, has given me a determination and a positivity that has remained even on the darkest of my days.
So... ramble bit over... today !
I have , as some folk know been logging my exercise regime and my efforts to get a grip on the anxiety which reared its head after so many years, Those exercises have paid dividends... Tibetan Rites Yoga with Adriene , ( selected and tweaked) stretching, and strengthening, all mixed with so, so many breathing exercises and mindful walks with my walk/talk counsellor. Because of that... I felt that today, In could try Week 1, Run 1 C25K... again!!
I have to say, that I talked myself in and out of it so many times this morning, that Mr OF was going dizzy, until... “ Right, I am getting my gear on and we will go”.
He was going to do his walk... ( up to 1 mile now), and I was going on the same route, but doing my own thing. It reassured me to have him close...for my benefit as well as his 
Out we went...under the bluest of skies and an early sun, promising even more warmth to come; the familiarity of the lovely Laura was like music to my ears. She believed in me, she knew I would be fine...and so I was. My heart like a sledgehammer, for those first uncertain steps and then, as she prepared me for that first run... I felt my face and my shoulders relax, my back straighten and my legs, almost unbidden, just ran. The steady 1,2,3,4 pace that they know so well... my breathing seemed easy and the fact that I was, as usual going up the hill, seemed to make little difference. I was however, really moving slowly. I knew that I had to keep it slow and steady, but really, really... slow and steady.
The first weeks after Mr OF's heart attack exhausted me, mentally and physically and it is only in the latter weeks that the exercises have begun to show their value.
I was of course, ahead of Mr OF, but I was aware of him and he could see me... I looked around. New eyes, seeing the things I have seen a thousand times before... but as if for the first time. It sounds a tad dramatic but, it felt like an awakening after a nightmare. The sights, the sounds the smells and the whole sense of just being part of it all. Each run followed by the walk, no need for hurry and an easy relaxed pace. I felt no urge to move faster, this was too good to rush.
There seemed to be a mix of seasons as I ran... the leftovers from Summer and the Autumn aperitifs... leaves almost on the turn, yet other trees in full leaf... blackberries and elderberries, already deep purple and fat and full, yet roses too, not just in bloom but with other buds, ready to burst out, like the chorus line in a floral ballet!
Mr OF had reached his turning point and I had two more runs to go... I went a little further and turned back down the hill. Overtaking him, I moved at the same pace as I had going up. Times past, I would have let go and run with abandon...but not today. I want to stay safe and stay relaxed, As I made the turn for home, he was behind me and I shouted that I had one more run to do...he headed for home and I went a little further.
It had gone better than I dared to have hoped. It felt right, it was the right time and as I completed the five minute walk cool down I reflected on the way I had completed the run. I was comfortable, I felt calm and the sheer joy of still being able to run was almost over-whelming.
But, this is just the beginning, just the first run and the next ones will be taken with equal care, I shall listen to my body,. I may take extra rest days if necessary. But I do know that I shall complete the runs.
And for that, I have all you folk to thank...you are part of my recovery, and part of every run I take.
Please, keep those runs and posts coming... I have a way to go yet !
Oldfloss x
A muddy one!🏃♀️💦
Back at it
The Queen of Faffing
