...so said Eleanor Roosevelt,
Well, I know what she meant.
I have had, as many of us have, and many of you with much , much harder ones, challenges, to face at this time, and I have tried, as time has gone on to take on board advice from my forum friends and from Eleanor Roosevelt.; maybe not doing something that scares me, every day, ( except looking in the mirror at my wild hair), but on quite a few days.
Many friends on here who know me well, have been aware that from the start of lockdown...I have been struggling, and I do mean, really struggling!
A lack of awareness, in my area, still persisting, (and after the recent easing, now worse) , from some folk, of the current situation meant that I felt too unhappy leaving the confines of my own grounds.
My last outdoor run prior to lockdown was the 15th March.
So.. new tactics were needed... and as was highlighted in a Johnnylewis post... a garden route was devised... with a few tweaks a couple of flat stretches and a half finished rockery traverse, I could get a 1.5 K lap.
At first this seemed to work for me... it was new, it felt very safe and I was running, albeit slowly It wasn't boring, as I was seeing things in the garden that I had never really noticed.
But... it was not quite enough... so... as time went on, on a Sunday morning, when I felt all my neighbours were still indoors.. I stretched the run a little and got a tad further to the end of the Close and the Crescent.
I had started roseabi 's Spring Speed Challenge.. a personal one for me for 1K... but after the first week roseabi said it would be better to run the same 1K for the challenge, hmm, not one in the garden then, but one outside... so, time to take a huge breath and get out there. And I did!
It was uncertain on that first run out whether I would pass out with the sheer panic that enveloped me...or whether the legs would actually work properly.
I did not pass out and the legs worked... I was so tense that I was almost rigid and that 1K lasted a lifetime.. my heart like a sledge hammer in my chest, before I set out...and whilst running, every sense heightened, looking, listening and watching for other folk not being sensible.
So.. it began... and as the weeks went on I got out a little further, lengthening the run, but always running that same K for my challenge. Over the 5 weeks .. the furthest I did was a 3K...but I was out and I was getting more relaxed as I went... it was almost like normal Floss running... slow and steady but really, really slow and steady.
Getting out early was the thing... before anyone was around,, getting used to the few early dog walkers, folks I have seen many times, over the years. a friendly wave across the roads and a smile helped. A runner or two, at a distance... seen once or twice, but as I got out earlier, sometimes no one at all.
I had finished the Spring Challenge and was feeling like me again, know now, I have improved on my starting time But whether they were good results or not, the Challenge for me was simply going out to run.
To run and then to ramble Hooray you say...or groan!
The day after my last challenge run, I ran again... and
I planned to do just 1 or 2K... but the morning and the circumstances called for more.
Setting out, the Close in complete silence... curtained and shuttered and only birdsong, filling the air.
The sky a pale blue blanket over this apparently, peaceful world, where sleep continued, relaxed and unworried. My feet echoed as I tried to run lightly and quietly out into the greater space. There are so many birds now and so much to see and take in...some folk have gardened as never before... gardens pristine or otherwise... some planted with military precision... rows of early bedding plants... small soldiers braving the dawdling early morning frosts, and some less so, but equally tended.
Out and up the hill to Seagull roundabout where those white sentinels keep an unerring watch on the comings and going... and, I am struck on this morning, as ever at the silence.. This is an early Friday morning and it is quiet... the busy A road is devoid of any traffic except an occasional lorry...across and up the hill .. and not a soul in sight..the blossom trees some past their best, some just coming... and across the grass, littered with daisies and buttercups and dandelion clocks... those lacy bundles of Nature's perfect embroidery skills which a morning or two before, had been frozen,in crisp white time.
This time I ran for 5K...
Out currently, three times a week again, at least... often short sweet runs but sometimes, longer runs...
I run now, relaxed and happy. I use the time to let the stresses float away behind me.; my legs work, I breathe easily and I see once again the awesome beauty of Nature , untouched by human hand.
I have despite all, not lost ground, if anything my pace has increased and I finish many runs with a flourish, “ finish in style... “ as the lovely Laura would say. I return home ready to face the day.
The support and friendship from all my friends on the forums has helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you x
We are, currently, due to the relaxation of some rules. in even more uncertain and dangerous times , and I am fearful, but I am tempering that fear with running, gardening, regular strength and stamina exercise , writing and painting...and maybe, if it can be arranged safely with small runner in training, over the next weeks, there may be a longed for visit with family who I have not seen in person since May 19th.
Another quotation I have used on the forums before, is the one that states, “ we have nothing to fear, but fear itself... “
I do not feel it appropriate, at this time... we should, I feel, have a real fear of this hidden and vicious enemy, but if we can find our own ways to maintain our strength, our positivity and our determination to come through this, then that can only work in our favour.
Safe happy running to everyone .
Floss x