Full of admiration for an unknown relative!

I now have a full understanding of the relationship between 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousins and what the term once or twice removed means, it had all been double Dutch before. This was explained at a family 'Leaving' party at the weekend for who I now know is my 3rd cousin. He is emigrating to Australia and wanted a FULL family get together before he went as in his words, "It will probably be the last time I see most of you." No expense had been spared, everyone was booked a room at the hotel and everything had been covered, he wanted no excuse for anyone not to attend!

I had not seen him since my early teens and most of the other relatives there I have never knowingly met. I was introduced to an 'Uncle Harry' who seemed to remember me and my sister from a family wedding when we were bridesmaids. My parents have no idea who he was or whos uncle he is but it seemed rude to quiz him over it.

On the Saturday morning, I had only time for a short run before we had to leave as the gathering started at lunch time. So, when we booked in and was told we had full access to the gym for the whole weekend, my eyes lit up. Sunday morning run may well be on the cards as I had brought my running gear just in case there had been somewhere to run.

I got up Sunday, quite early and found my way to the gym. It was not as large as I had expected with 4 treadmills, some stepping cross trainer things and a couple of rowing machines.

Two of the treadmills were in use, one by "Uncle Harry" who was going at a fair pace, and from the sweat on his shirt, had probably been going for some time. He had headphones in and was focused on his run and didn't even acknowledge I had entered. The next treadmill was occupied by a woman I recognised from the night before but had not met.

I got onto the third machine and started a walk and then increased the speed to a comfortable run. After about 10 minutes, the woman left and a couple came in, one got on the vacated treadmill, the other on a rower. I spent 45 minutes at running speed then slowed to a walk. Uncle Harry was still going strong.

I went back to my room, had a shower and got ready. My husband had go the little ones ready so we went down for breakfast. As we went past reception, there was Uncle Harry heading back to his room from the gym. He gave me a smile and a cheery "Good Morning" as he passed. I have no idea how old Harry is, but I am guessing early to mid 70's. Even if he had stopped running when I left, he must still have been at it for over an hour at what looked to be a very quick pace.

Most of the other elderly relatives I saw seemed to be discussing their ailments and comparing notes on the tablets they were on. It just amazes me that some people seem to refuse to get old gracefully and it seems to be the best way. I don't know if "Uncle Harry" is a blood relative, but if so, I hope I share his genes!!

[DocEmmett 60minGraduate]

A great example, GottaImprove! Health permitting, this has to be the way to age well.

[dijep Graduate10]

What am amazing thing to organise for you all and a great opportunity to meet so many relatives, even if you didn't know who they all were. It's a pity someone hadn't made a family tree so you could trace your connections. A few years ago I was invited with my two sons to a 100th birthday party for my late husband's uncle. He walked around to greet everyone and stood to give an off the cuff speech for 15 minutes, in fact he hardly seemed to sit down. One of his grandchildren remembered being challenged to an uphill race by him which he won easily.

He is sounds very much like your Uncle Harry. Thanks for reminding me.

[Hidden in reply to dijep]

A few months ago, one of my friends told me of her late Grandfather who was just short of 90 when he died. The family recalled at his funeral that he always went out running in army fatigues, boots and a back pack. When he was in his seventies he was disappointed with himself because he had to remove some of the bricks from his backpack because he was finding it hard to complete the course within the time limit. When he was asked what he was talking about, bricks? time limit? His reply was that the army fitness test requires you to be able to run 8 miles in under two hours with a 50lb pack!!

[Yesletsgo Administrator Graduate10]

How lovely to meet so many family members, and what an inspiration your Uncle Harry is!

I had an Uncle Harry too, my sister and I went to stay with him when we were teenagers. He took us for a drive to show us the sights. We didn't realise how religious he was until he started saying the Rosary out loud as we went round the blind bends and single track country lanes...with his eyes closed in devotion. My sister and I prayed along with him. Must've worked, as we're still here and he lived to a decent age.

[Hidden]

I have my mum on the case trying to find out who "Uncle Harry" actually is. All we know for sure is that he has been to several family events (weddings and funerals) and not technically an uncle of ours. My maternal grandfather was one of 6 children from his fathers second marriage. My mum remembers him talking about half brothers too so they are either from the first marriage or his second wife's sons. "Uncle Harry" could be related (or not) to any one of them. Using my new found knowledge of family relationships, if he is a blood relative, he is probably better described as "Cousin Harry". Or, as my husband added, he could just be "Constant Gate Crasher Harry".

[OldManRunning Graduate10]

Great post GottaImprove I hope you have his gene too 😁

[Hidden]

My mum has uncovered who "Uncle Harry" is. He is actually my mums cousin (so my first cousin, once removed). He is also our family's shameful secret according to one of my great aunt's. One of my great uncles had an illegitimate son.

Harry was not even to be mentioned while my great grandparents were alive, to them he did not exist. My great uncle's wife accepted that he should know his half sisters but refused to accept him as part of the family. He went to his fathers funeral but it was not mentioned that he was his son. He was referred to as "Uncle Harry" by his half sisters children and has been ever since.

I think it is nice that he is now able to be part of the family but so sad that in those days there was such a stigma attached to children born out of wedlock.