An evening 5k run with unwelcome tag alongs... - Bridge to 10K

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An evening 5k run with unwelcome tag alongs! 😡😡😡

GreeneyedJ14 profile image
21 Replies

Hi all! First time I have posted on here being a little shy, but after tonight's run it just felt like something to get out of my head and write on here. I'm not usually an evening runner, preferring early morning runs, but tonight I was feeling brave and after a warm up yoga sesh,set off for a gentle 5k. It was a run I was really enjoying, until the last half a mile when three teenagers thought it would be hilarious to run alongside me. They didn't shout abuse at me and I wasn't thinking they would hurt me as such but I felt something threatening, something that was unwelcome on my protected running time. This is my time,my time to completely let go of the stresses of being a mum, working in mental health and renovating our first home. I don't get much of it, and tonight it felt violated. I didn't say anything to these kids, just kept running and facing forwards. But when I got home, i didn't have that nice post run joy or the relaxation I was looking for. I felt annoyed that these kids thought it was OK. That rather than leave me to my run,they made the decision to do something that made a woman running on her own feel uncomfortable. I also wondered if they would have done the same to my 6ft7 husband who runs too. Maybe, maybe not. Anyone else experienced any rubbish like this on their runs,particularly other women runners???

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GreeneyedJ14 profile image
GreeneyedJ14
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21 Replies
SueAppleRun profile image
SueAppleRunGraduate1060minGraduate

That’s horrible thing to happen, it can be a bit scary running alone, but luckily mostly it’s ok. I hope you feel ok now and are able to enjoy your next you time run

Dendev75 profile image
Dendev75Graduate10

This is horrible, they obviously were oblivious to how this made you feel - thinking it was just a laugh (I would have felt intimidated and upset by this behaviour). How dare they? 😡 it’s not something I’ve even thought about whilst running although I am wanting to join a running club before the early dark nights set in as I would feel vulnerable then. I hope it hasn’t put you off and well done for continuing with your run - good luck you don’t encounter these 🤬 again.

GreeneyedJ14 profile image
GreeneyedJ14 in reply toDendev75

Thank you Dendev75. I was really trying to play it down when I got home, but the more I thought about it, the more 🤬🤬 I felt! It shouldn't be a thing we have to think about, and such a shame that it is. A running club is a great idea and something I will definitely look into 👍👍

Dendev75 profile image
Dendev75Graduate10 in reply toGreeneyedJ14

I get you did but you’re right it should not be a thing that you should even think about. Your space should stay your space - this has made me so angry 😡

FurtherFaster profile image
FurtherFasterGraduate10

I'm so sorry to hear that happened, what a terrible experience and these types of people never think to stop and consider how their "fun" could be so violating for someone else.

Daiwalker profile image
Daiwalker

I'm 6' tall and nearly 200lb in weight. I've got a face that doesn't exude an air of invite, especially when running, yet I had the same thing happen to me just last night. 5 kids, very loud, very intimidating, cycling and running next to me, shouting for me to go faster. Another shouting "why you running?"

I don't think it's because you're female. I think it's a sign of the times. We are now far at the other end of the seen-and-not-heard spectrum. Respect is dead. "Decorum" is a word from a dead language. We are witness to the age of don't-tell-the-kids-off.

I was going to report it to the police but what's the point? And what really did they do? They didn't threaten me but I felt, as you said, violated.

I went out again this morning. Thankfully the little cherubs were tucked up in bed this morning.

Dendev75 profile image
Dendev75Graduate10 in reply toDaiwalker

Again, this is just horrible, what a nasty and intimidating experience on what should be your time, your space, your run. I understand you wanting to report it but like you say what could you say they did other than taunt you? I hope I never experience this and I hope you don’t again.

GreeneyedJ14 profile image
GreeneyedJ14

Thank you Daiwalker and very true. They just couldn't leave it alone, they just had to do something when if they had just let us get on with it, we would have finished a run happy. We're outside but it's my space and my time and I would never ever want anyone to feel the way we did because of my actions. Its not cool and not a great attitude to have for their lives to come.

M0use profile image
M0useGraduate10

What you describe is my worst nightmare, I don't know how I would have handled a situation like that. It makes me really angry to think that there are kids/people out there that think this is ok. I hope you can keep running and stay safe

GreeneyedJ14 profile image
GreeneyedJ14 in reply toM0use

Thanks M0use! Never gonna stop me running! It would take a lot to do that. I'm determined to head back out there, same time, same route.

M0use profile image
M0useGraduate10 in reply toGreeneyedJ14

🏃‍♀️💪

MissUnderstanding profile image
MissUnderstandingAdministratorGraduate10

That sounds absolutely awful. Sorry you had to go through that. Really hope it was just a one off bad experience for you. While this sort of thing does happen to men, it’s clear that a greater percentage of women experience this horrible behaviour.

Liono profile image
Liono

Do you have a neighbourhood site you could post something on perhaps? In the hope that someone who knows these kids could have a word and explain how that sort of behaviour can affect someone. They were probably just bored and acting on impulse without thinking about the consequences of their actions, but if they understood how their behaviour made you feel they might think twice before doing it again or to someone else. Presumably they have mothers or sisters and would not want them to experience similar!

Cmoi profile image
CmoiGraduate10

That's totally unacceptable from those kids GreeneyedJ14 .

Having spent several years teaching apprentices aged 15-25+, as well as younger teens, I'd doubtless have called them out directly - said how unaccceptable their behaviour was, and told them to stop. Asking them if they'd like it if others did the same to their mother/grandmother/sister etc. would probably also have come into it. However, if you're not used to dealing with young people like that, ignoring them is the best bet.

I also wouldn't hesitate to report them to any neighbourhood groups or community police. If the kids think it's funny and/or don't realise the impact of their actions, they need to understand and stop. And if they're doing it deliberately, they might be on the way to committing a criminal offence (cps.gov.uk/cps/news/summary... and in that case it's even more important that they stop.

Don't let it put you off running, or running alone though. Instead, have a look at WeWill: wewillcampaign.com/

Sandraj39 profile image
Sandraj39Graduate10 in reply toCmoi

Thanks for the link - I had not heard of this campaign.🙂💪🏃‍♀️

Cmoi profile image
CmoiGraduate10 in reply toSandraj39

You're welcome Sandraj39 . I make a point of mentioning #wewill every time I see a post from someone - and it's almost always a woman - posting about inappropriate/insulting/intimidating/threatening remarks or behaviour experienced while out for a run.

GreeneyedJ14 profile image
GreeneyedJ14 in reply toCmoi

Thank you Cmoi and I will definitely be looking at the link you suggested. My experience of dealing with young people is helping them with their mental health, ironically something these kids may benefit from if they think its OK to make anyone feel vulnerable and like you say, actions like this can lead to something with more serious consequences. And it felt like a reaction would have egged them on in this scenario. Maybe, maybe not. I am determined its not going to dissuade me from my runs though which are so important. And I hope the post doesn't put off others which was not my intention. I just felt the need to air it and you have all been so kind in your advice and making me feel justified in my feelings about it that it was not OK.

Cmoi profile image
CmoiGraduate10 in reply toGreeneyedJ14

Given your work certainly you're well-positioned to evaluate a situation like that GreeneyedJ14 , and I definitely don't see any reason why your post should put others off running. Quite the reverse!😀

Sandraj39 profile image
Sandraj39Graduate10

I wouldn’t have had the confidence to confront them but I do think Cmoi is right that this is harassment - no excuse thinking it ‘was a laugh’ at all. 😡 Any reasonable person would have known that this behaviour could make someone feel threatened.

I run on my own (roads and trail) and often in the evening. In autumn and winter it is often dark and although I am fortunate to live in a relatively ‘safe’ area, I do have to give thought to safety and there have been occasions when I have not felt entirely safe. I have just looked at the link above for #wewill - thank you Cmoi for posting this.🙂💪

I really hope this experience doesn’t put you off your evening runs - as you say, it is your time and you should feel as safe out there on your own as with your husband! It’s not right that sometimes we don’t.🏃‍♀️💪🙂

Pinkpig20 profile image
Pinkpig20Graduate10

I hope this doesn’t stop you enjoy running. I think I would feel like you did. Intimidated at the least. We should be able to run/walk without fear of harm or intimidation.

Newbie59 profile image
Newbie59

I run on my own and have never been harassed on a run. However, when the weather is hot it seems to bring out the worst in teenagers. I was walking on a footbridge over a river when a lad rode at me on a small motorbike, forcing me to press myself into the railings. Clearly he should not have been on the footbridge and his younger friends on bikes were following him as fast as they could pedal. I was frightened and shouted and swore at them! There was a group of young teen girls watching silently. Perhaps the boys were trying to impress them.

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