People's opinions 🙄 : After my run today and... - Bridge to 10K

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People's opinions 🙄

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10

After my run today and a shower I went out a walk with the dog. There were 2 women ( mother and daughter) , the both of them said hello and commented on how much weight I'd lost. The mother said ' don't loss any more you look fine as you are and the daughter said ' maybe I should give up running and go back to walking.

I will admit I started running for weight loss and its worked really well.

I feel fitter , healthier and have such a positive mindset and I'm so pleased I started running because I really love it.

I just wonder what these people are thinking when making comments like this.

I told both of them ' I LOVE running and I don't think they understood why. But I know you all will.

Happy running 😁🤣

99 Replies
oldest • newest
ForestGrump63
ForestGrump6360minGraduate

I always get annoyed when people make comments about people's looks. It's none of their business. If you love running you should run and no ones opinion but your own matters

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to ForestGrump63

😊👍

BeetrootFace77
BeetrootFace77Graduate10

Sounds to me like a big case of the green eyed monster, they compliment you with one hand and take away with the other. They are probably not happy with themselves and rather than do something about it they find it easier to berate you for doing something positive. Keep on running Buddy! :)

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to BeetrootFace77

😊👍

Allbarron
Allbarron60minGraduate

I'm similar Buddy! I lost quite a bit then decided to run for fitness but the running is helping me maintain that loss. At the end of the day I want to be happy healthy and strong and running does that for me. You do you Buddy safe in.the knowledge that we get it 👍

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Allbarron

😊👍

AlMorr
AlMorrGraduate10

Many people don't understand why runners run, that was a ridiculous comment telling you that you should stop running because you were thinner and had lost weight.

Running in itself won't make a person lose weight, what will is that they run AND go on a healthier diet or at least not have ate so much junk food as previously before they began running.

Congratulations on losing weight over the last few years and of course "keep on 🏃🏾 running"

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to AlMorr

😊👍

Flattttt
Flattttt in reply to AlMorr

Runners tend to lose weight.

If you run enough, it uses calories that the body is disenclined to eat back.

A quote comes to mind;

'The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.'

You are epic!

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to GTFC

😊👍

Oldgirlruns
OldgirlrunsGraduate10

I think they were out of order really - very nice of them to comment on how well you look, but they should have left it there!

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Oldgirlruns

They probably want me to start smoking again also🤣🤣🤣

Speedy60
Speedy60Graduate10

Keep running and eat more cake! 😉

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Speedy60

🤣🤣My daughter made a banoffe cake last week and i was good I only had 1 bit

AlMorr
AlMorrGraduate10 in reply to Speedy60

Eat cake after you have run a 5K or 10K but not before 😊😏

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to AlMorr

Once a week AlMorr usually after Sunday dinner😊👍

AlMorr
AlMorrGraduate10 in reply to Buddy34

👍

ForestGrump63
ForestGrump6360minGraduate in reply to AlMorr

Eat a big slice in front of them wearing a sign "will run for cake" 😂

AlMorr
AlMorrGraduate10 in reply to ForestGrump63

I eat a small cake for supper on a Saturday and Sunday night, from Tuesday to Friday I eat and drink for supper "morning rolls" and Green Tea.

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to ForestGrump63

🤣🤣

HeavyFoot
HeavyFootGraduate10

Look out for book called Nasty People. It’s all about invalidating behaviour, how to spot it, why it’s done and how to deal with it. Good luck!

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to HeavyFoot

oh don't worry its dealt with , next run Wednesday 🤣🤣

ForestGrump63
ForestGrump6360minGraduate in reply to HeavyFoot

Just looked that up. Is it by Jay Carter?

HeavyFoot
HeavyFootGraduate10 in reply to ForestGrump63

Yes, that’s right. Thanks for reminding me. It’s not a big book but really enlightening. ☀️

ForestGrump63
ForestGrump6360minGraduate in reply to HeavyFoot

I like the sound of it. There's a kindle version too! Thanks for the tip 👍

WillowandSola
WillowandSola60minGraduate

Ooo that huge green eyed monster, tubby people will always criticise slender people, tell them they have lost enough

You are amazing, fit healthy and strong, ignore them and carry on running and staying beautiful and strong

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to WillowandSola

Exactly 😊👍

Mum22boys
Mum22boysGraduate10

People say some strange things!! That doesn't even make sense!! Ignore them, keep running and keep knocking out those pb's 😊

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Mum22boys

Don't worry nothing could stop me running 😊👍

Fionamags
FionamagsGraduate10

It never fails to amaze me how people think its OK to comment on how slim someone is or say that they are too slim! Your response might have been: "I'm feeling fantastic actually. What are you doing to improve your health?" Followed by a comment about their shape and size if you feel like stooping to their level ...

You blazed 10k today - you are untouchable!!! 🏃‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤗

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Fionamags

They are so different to me in a lot of ways and I could've said something along those lines . But the look on their face when I said I love running was enough 🤣

Speedy60
Speedy60Graduate10

Don't stop running. I need someone to give me all that kudos. 👍

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Speedy60

🤣🤣as if I'd stop running

Delly-dot
Delly-dot60minGraduate

People who make comments like those made to you today often have low self-esteem themselves, however that doesn't excuse them making judgemental comments about others. It is a shame that they are unable to see the bigger picture and that they can't fully acknowledge all the effort and achievement that you have made.

You proved yourself the bigger person by coming back with such a positive comment. Don't worry - those who matter to you do "get it".

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Delly-dot

yes you're right 😊👍

Gwyrdd
Gwyrdd60minGraduate

I have had someone saying to me “you’re too thin’. (I’m not 8 stone is ok for 5’2”). I’ve not yet said ‘and you’re too fat’ . As a child I was told that making personal remarks is rude.

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Gwyrdd

Yes I could've said a few things but like you said , I was always told if you've got nothing nice to say , say nothing 😊👍

ThriftyLesley
ThriftyLesley in reply to Gwyrdd

And if you had said ‘you’re too fat’ it would have been deemed outrageous! Strange how it isn’t the other way round

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to ThriftyLesley

I don't care what size anyone is . To me being a nice person is way more important 😊😊

Roxdog
RoxdogGraduate10

Oh yes, we all understand. Whatever our motives for starting, once we are in love with running, that's what it's about.

I hate it when people comment on weight and give their opinions. It's nice to say people look fit and well, that's different.

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Roxdog

yes it is 😊👍

Maddee_6333
Maddee_6333Graduate10

I’m bemused when people think they have a right to say things like that to other people.

Every time one of the medical team come to see me I preface things with ‘I’m a runner, I want whatever option will allow me to run again.’

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Maddee_6333

I'm with you on that Maddee👍😊

Never mind me , how are you ?🤗🤗

roseabi
roseabiAdministrator

You definitely gave them the right answer 😊😊😊

The best one 'you look thin' comment I've had was the man who told me I 'obviously wasn't pregnant'. Actually maybe he just thought I looked old... hmmm 😄

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to roseabi

Some people just don't know when to shut up🙄👍

roseabi
roseabiAdministrator in reply to Buddy34

It's bizarre isn't it!!

dieOR5k
dieOR5kGraduate10

My neighbor made a similar comment about being thin enuf. I thanked her and said I have more to go. It is a puzzling commentary, it I agree with folks here. People’s comments are more about themselves and their inner voices. We can only get good with ourselves.

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to dieOR5k

I had put on weight as I started eating massive amounts of chocolate after stopping smoking. All I've done is reversed this. 😊👍

Jell6
Jell6Graduate10

It annoys me Buddy!

I am (I think) normal size.

If I mention to people at work I am cold, they say "you need to get a few butties down you ", or similar.

It seems to be acceptable to mention someone's weight/size, if it's erring on the slim side.

Is it ok to say "you've porked out a bit" probably not.

I think part of the problem is we now see so many people in a higher weight range, we don't recognise normal as normal, we see it as underweight!!

I audited some risk assessments recently, and had to speak to staff who had incorrectly assessed patients as normal weight, when in fact they were in the overweight or obese category.

Hell, you seem to have set me off 🤣🤣🤣

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Jell6

Exactly , you've hit the nail on the head😊👍

ForestGrump63
ForestGrump6360minGraduate in reply to Jell6

When I was in my early 20s I was naturally very thin and a woman at work made loud cruel comments about it in front of others regularly. T his went on for about a year and in the end, after a particularly cruel comment in front of her cronies I challenged her. I had actually snapped at this point and said something along the lines of " would you like it if I kept telling you that you were fat and needed to go on a diet" I'm not proud of my reaction. Anyway, she cried, I was hauled in front of the manager and got a verbal warning. She got nothing. It appears socially acceptable to pick on someone's appearance if they're thin 🙄

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to ForestGrump63

I'm surprised you managed to put up with that for a year.

You only did to her what she did to you. Where was her verbal warning 🙄

ForestGrump63
ForestGrump6360minGraduate in reply to Buddy34

I was fairly quiet at that age but changed a lot in that year 😂 apparently because I hadn’t made a complaint about it previously no consequences for her. One of her regular comments was “if you get any thinner you’ll snap” I did snap, just not in the way she meant 🤷‍♀️

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to ForestGrump63

I understand I used to be a quiet person then things happen that toughen us up.

Good on you😁

Jell6
Jell6Graduate10 in reply to ForestGrump63

Totally agree. Your situation seems to have been very badly managed, how unfair.

CaptFrey
CaptFrey60minGraduate

Society is programmed to think it’s ok to judge and comment On appearance. You were very dignified in your response.

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to CaptFrey

Oh yes I was dignified alright as I could have been there all day pointing out their unhealthy behaviour but its none of my business 😊👍

Yea, Possibly they could be a tad jealous of the great way you look after shedding the pounds. I once shaved of my beard and dropped six stone in weight. Thereafter certain people commented, ''Oh I liked you better with the beard and heavier''. Sometimes you cant with. Good luck.

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Stobban

I've only went back to my weight i was before I stopped smoking . But now I'm a healthier me 😊👍

I feel for them, they are not well spiritually, perhaps when you see them next, offer them the C25k app, offer some support, perhaps say you would be happy to go out wth them on there first outing...I like to try as best I can to turn negs into positive. And even if they decline, you can have a great rest of your day as you offered kindness 🙏😉

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Blueboy5050

Thank you😊👍

The most important thing is no matter what your size is your happy and it probably shows i can only assume those making comments might not be as happy as you and probably feel a little green eyed?? running isn't as easy as it looks they probably a little intimidated on your confidence!! and on an opposite note I'm on the bigger side but I'm fit training to run 10k and run 6k at the moment three times a week and I get looks and sneers as if I couldn't be fit because I'm not thin...I suppose no matter what, people always have something to say...so stay happy!!

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to GreenBearxxx

You're right running isn't easy and we need a lot of determination.

I wasn't happy when overweight but I would never comment on someone's appearance. Good luck with getting to 10k😊😊

Picolla87
Picolla87Graduate10

The comments were so low you shouldn’t even be thinking about it I’ve lost loads of weight and I’ll keep losing until I’m where I want to be keep doing your thing you clearly look great xx

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Picolla87

What running has done for me is about so much more than my weight loss. Its made me so much more positive and I'm happy when running, just me and my music and this forum is the best place ever😊

Picolla87
Picolla87Graduate10 in reply to Buddy34

Well done to you keep it up! 💪🏼

Sybilw
SybilwGraduate10

I know Rev Kate Botley blocks or deletes any comments on her Instagram that mention weight loss or similar as she recognises it implies former criticism. My mum told people in the care home I was running to lose weight - I wasn’t overweight!! It may reflect their experiences of school running When it seemed a punishment. 🤷‍♀️

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Sybilw

I did start running to try and loose weight and I've always been honest about my reasons but never thought I would actually love running 😊👍

Sybilw
SybilwGraduate10 in reply to Buddy34

Neither did I! Started as hubby retired and daughter was on maternity leave (no grandchildren to run after) and I could hear the soda calling!

BOBOZ
BOBOZ60minGraduate

Casual walkers and runners.

Two different planets.

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to BOBOZ

They don't walk anywhere and i mean anywhere but thats up to them . None of my business 😊👍

From life experience women do not think logically and say the first thing that comes into their heads. I have 2 daughters and a mad wife that I love dearly. The only exceptions I've encountered are female engineers who think like men!

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to WannabeAthlete

🤣🤣

Beachcomber66
Beachcomber66Graduate10 in reply to WannabeAthlete

A week working in a lawyers’ office would change your mind Wannabe....women are amazing supportive insightful equal (at least) colleagues. Being an idiot about running applies to men too; there is a guy around the corner who likes to call out “here he comes” as I appear in my running kit and make a stupid remarks about wearing KT....why don’t I get a bike etc. I asked if he would like a race. He said he only does distance stuff... so I offered half marathon......end of discussion!!Bottom line, I am happy to be a runner and I don’t care what anyone else thinks !! Well

done Buddy34 👏👏👏

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Beachcomber66

🤣🤣👍good on you

You have a much higher opinion of lawyers than me whether they are male or female.

My brother in law was top of his year at law school with a double first in a double degree from Leeds which has since been discontinued as it was too difficult and too many people were failing the degree. He beat all Oxbridge candidates with ease which pains me as I read Engineering at Oxford. At any rate his opinion of lawyers at his top City firm was that their main attribute was stamina rather than intelligence.

The smartest people at my (all boys) school went on to read Medicine, Maths and of course Physics. None read Law.

Most women think and look differently to men.

Life would be boring if this were not the case.

Hey Buddy34 I haven't been on here in a zillion years, haha, but your post is the first one I've read today, so that's a positive start👍

It is brilliant news about your weight loss goal and that you love running.

It's always best to cheer people on and if nothing positive can be said, it's best those people say nothing.

I understand in part when folk say, don't lose anymore, or, as that woman said, you're fine as you are, only because when my son was little I was over weight due to health reasons, but when I lost it and was much slimmer, I had a few say the same and these were nice genuine people, even a couple of aunties, so I don't think it's all said in a jealous way, but I do know from other friends that folk have said that to them and some of these people were jealous, it was clear that they were. 😔

Regardless of people's comments or how they feel about you, us, you are the important person in your life and you run for your own reasons, happiness, etc, so keep on running lovely, you have done very well. So much support is offered on here, I've been in receipt of it and love all my little running family, whether I'm on here much or not 😍👍

Keep posting and runny 😊

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to quirkybee

See and thats why I posted this on here because people are really supportive and understand 😊😊

Hi I’m so pleased you told those thoughtless women how much you enjoy running especially in our recent time’s I know myself running has kept me sane! It’s been my ‘go to’ space to think and reassess the good things in life and the kindness of people.

On a slightly different note my neighbour asked me if I thought I was perhaps ‘too old to still be running’ (im 59) as she’d heard it was not good for knees!! I don’t wish to be unkind but she is a rather large lady I replied, ‘we’ll I’ve had no problems yet, how are yours?!!’ She didn’t reply !!😂

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Bunny55

Goodness sake 59 isn't old. I bet your knees are in tip top shape😊😊

Bunny55
Bunny55 in reply to Buddy34

Touch wood no problems so far and thank you I don’t feel 59 so I shall keep on running and enjoying myself as should you. As my ole Mum used to say ... some people are doers and some are watchers!

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Bunny55

👍👍

I could never see the attraction of running. I could see that it was a method of keeping fit but then there are so many other things that are more interesting. Our running group started as 8 unfit mums who needed to get fit in order to keep up with our offspring. After seeing 4 human gazelles glide past after the morning school run we thought that looked like a cheap and easy way to get a bit fitter and the C25K was our plan to get there.

Did I say EASY? If it wasn't for the fact that we were in a group and so didn't want to drop out or let anyone else down I don't think any of us would have kept it up.

I don't recall exactly when, but at some point the addiction kicked in and we started to look forward to the running as well as the company of our group.

Covid put pay to our group runs for a few months but we all kept running and improving. When we met up again some were almost unrecognisable with the amount of weight they have lost. We are all more toned and feel healthier. Running has literally changed our lives. We are more health conscious about eating as well as fitness for our family as well as ourselves. We are definitely all hooked on running. However, if someone asked "why do you love it so much?" I am not sure I could give them an answer, we just do!

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to GottaImprove

Exactly, its addictive . A free natural high 😊😊

It's envy. We always try to over-analyse these things but they usually boil down to something basic and this is it. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how well you've done.

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Scundered

Oh I will 🤣🤣👍

Raspberrypink
RaspberrypinkGraduate10

We certainly do understand Buddy! Why would you want to stop when you've made such amazing progress and clearly love your running. Your response was brilliant ( and very measured) 👍

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Raspberrypink

Exactly 👍👍

Run46
Run46Graduate10

Lol...people who don't run, "surely you wouldn't be running for any other reason than weight loss, only crazy people run for fun?!"

Us, "yup, that's us 😜"

I think even we realise how crazy we are when we're running in the wind and rain and loving it but it's a really good kind of crazy 😍

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Run46

yes thats us , crazy and I love it 😀

Run46
Run46Graduate10 in reply to Buddy34

And we wouldn't want you any other way 😉😊

It’s a common concern (in these situations) — that it’s possible to lose too much weight. Or that being a little outside the bounds of common weight (for one’s size) is a grave concern.

But it’s not the Middle Ages with starvation concerns all around lol

Only you and your doctor know your situation.... you “sound fine” to me ie not concerned

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Flattttt

Yes I'm absolutely fine . I put on 4 1/2 stone after stopping smoking all I've done is taken it all off . 😊👍

johnm12
johnm12Graduate10

I guess they were well intentioned but simply dont understand. The problem with this running lark is that it does take a while before it becomes easy and natural. I lost a few Kg through running BUT by far the biggest effect is that I just feel more positive about things. My lovely wife will often say ( if I am being rather grumpy) "why dont you go for a run". I usually do and almost always, the world is a much better place when I return. I'm a bit slimmer but as we all know there are other bigger benefits! Keep on running!

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to johnm12

Yes, the benefits of running are great 👍

Well Buddy,

As an old girl 69+ .... I too started running for a personal reason . Try and visualise ( or not) an old lady plodding along the road !

I achieved the 5K target , love running and that’s what’s important to all of us - **Runners unit :) 🐾

Buddy34
Buddy34Graduate10 in reply to Bracken2018

Doesn't matter what age you are, if you're out and running you're a runner 🏃‍♀️

I have noticed that people seem to find it acceptable to comment on this in a way they wouldn’t if it was weight gain. I too have experienced this and it made me angry .

Carry on enjoying your running and enjoy being healthy and toned.

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