Thinking about coming out but don't know how... - Bridge to 10K

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Thinking about coming out but don't know how....

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10
β€’39 Replies

For some reason, when I started running a few months ago I didn't tell anyone, kept it a secret and just came on this website for help and encouragement (which I got in buckets! Thank you!). I think I was worried I would be bad at it or give up.

But I haven't and now I am thinking about telling people I run but I don't really know how - it all seems even more silly! Any tips?

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Sweatyfaced profile image
Sweatyfaced
Graduate10
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39 Replies
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Irish-John profile image
Irish-JohnGraduate10

First person I told - about the closest to me - laughed so hard she got a pain in her side.

When she realised I wasn't kidding she was almost afronted.

"I mean - how ridiculous can life be?!!!"

I do better on my own anyway πŸ™‚

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply toIrish-John

The hubby knows and didn't outright laugh but was a bit like; "okaaaaaaaay, if you say so". No laughter but a bit eye rolly (if that's a thing?)

Irish-John profile image
Irish-JohnGraduate10β€’ in reply toSweatyfaced

eye rolly is definitely a thing :) sputtering laughter like a hyena on Crack would be quite another thing though - he is probably a keeper ;)

pollyp1 profile image
pollyp1Graduate10β€’ in reply toSweatyfaced

My husband still eye rolls and calls me a freak, and it's been 15 months! No-one who's known me for a long time quite believes it (tbf, neither do I) but I love confounding expectations. When the moment arises just tell people. You loving running is your problem- how they respond is theirs. Happy runnings.

Tomas profile image
TomasGraduate10

Just casually throw it into the conversation. For instance "so Saturday I went to this gorgeous coffee shop after I'd been out running. They serve such a lovely cuppa. We should go there on day".

Rignold profile image
Rignold

First rule of Run club is: never talk about running.

Unless it's to other runners. In which case don't talk about anything else.

Bazza1234 profile image
Bazza1234Graduate10

How do you find out of somebody is a runner????? Don't worry , they will tell you!! :)

You don't need to tell anybody - just put your running shoes on and go out and run. Word will soon spread ! :)

Gillma profile image
Gillma

Announce you're running a 5k or 10k in a few months time and challenge others to join you/sponsor you? Raise money for something worthwhile at the same time. And/Or make new friends at Parkrun?

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply toGillma

Thinking of joining Parkrun; also scared about that! Lol!

Gillma profile image
Gillmaβ€’ in reply toSweatyfaced

Parkrun was a lovely experience for me. Just full of nice people all encouraging each other. No pressure

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply toGillma

Keep finding reasons not to sign up; I am giving blood tomorrow for example which means Saturday for first public run is a no....

Gillma profile image
Gillmaβ€’ in reply toSweatyfaced

Put in diary for next available sat??

runswithdogs profile image
runswithdogsGraduate10

Ask them to join you on a run.

misswobble profile image
misswobbleGraduate10

I wouldn't bother πŸ˜ƒ It's not like you need to explain yourself

Oldfloss profile image
OldflossAdministratorGraduate10

You don't have to tell anyone do you?

If they see you, find out, ask.. just say, "Yes, I do, why?" :)

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply toOldfloss

Good point, well made!

For me it just came out naturally e.g. Colleagues ask what you are doing in the evening so I would say run, tea, telly or whatever! Initially though I always said I was "learning to run" or "'on my running programme " as I was embarrassed telling people who run "properly" I was very slow jogging!!

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply to

I think dropping it in might be a good start; I still just say "oh, this and that" etc

Gabby08 profile image
Gabby08Graduate10

This made me chuckle because I did the same thing - only my husband knew and that was only because he caught me falling through the front door, all red-faced and out of puff, on week 4!

I 'came out' by sticking a photo of me at the end of the Race for Life on Facebook. For some weird reason, I didn't want to tell anyone before - I didn't want to 'curse' it or feel like I was doing it for anyone other than myself.

Now, of course, it's all I ever talk about...πŸ˜³πŸ˜¬πŸ™ˆ

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply toGabby08

Same, terrified of cursing it! Probably just need to keep running and ignore all this nonsense in my head!

After 2.5 years most of my friends still don't know I run :) I treat it as a need to know thing :)

Millsie-J profile image
Millsie-J

Im a bit like Ruth. Tell who you want to, or not! Enjoy πŸ˜€πŸƒπŸ»β€β™€οΈ

roseabi profile image
roseabi

Facebook :D

IannodaTruffe profile image
IannodaTruffeGraduate10

You need to start with those dearest to you, for whom the shock may be greatest. It is an agonising dilemma, but it is only fair to be honest with people. You may be lucky and find that your nearest and dearest are more broad minded and understanding than you anticipate.

The other option is to continue life in the closet, feeling repressed and unable to express yourself fully in society, which is hardly to be recommended.

Maybe the grand gesture is the way forward. Train for a charity 10k and when you are well and truly ready, ask them all to sponsor you.

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply toIannodaTruffe

Maybe I should dare people to sponsor me more if I make a specific time? Or would that be unfair? Rofl

Irish-John profile image
Irish-JohnGraduate10β€’ in reply toIannodaTruffe

What Ian said! :)

misswobble profile image
misswobbleGraduate10

My husband was the last person I wanted to tell! 😁

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply tomisswobble

He's not been too bad; not an enthusiast and a bit incredulous but not bothered. I think he thinksit will stop again soon which is a bit scary; what if it does?

β€’ in reply toSweatyfaced

My boyfriend thought it was another one of my "phases" too :)

Nobbywatts profile image
Nobbywattsβ€’ in reply to

I thought it might be one of my phases too, but 4 years on ....

LeeU profile image
LeeU60minGraduate

I started running a few years back, I bought a treadmill off of eBay for Β£61.11 and loved it, since then I've changed jobs one or twice and didn't keep it up.

The last time I started using it I was talking to another guy at work and he brought up exercise, let me describe myself to you, I'm 6ft and 22 stone, when I said I had a treadmill and I used it his reply was "I suppose you have to put the clothes somewhere to dry."

It didn't phase me that much to be honest but there will always be ignorant people, what you lack in one area you will make up for in another area.

My reply to him (it's a little big headed so I apologise in advance for that): "I may be fat but I have an IQ of 162, I can loose weight but you'll still be stupid."

Long story short, if you tell people and they laugh at you just smile and pity them.

JaySeeSkinny profile image
JaySeeSkinnyGraduate10

I kept quiet for a long time, not even telling my husband. I've been going for walks at odd times for years, and the gear is pretty much the same, so my husband didn't really notice (plus I walk or run before everybody else is up). He was sceptical at first, but has accepted it now and even plans holidays with running routes for me in mind! A few close colleagues know, but probably don't realize how enthusiastic I am! And most of our friends now know. I want it to be part of me, just something I do, but I am still shy about proclaiming to the world that I am a runner!

Bazza1234 profile image
Bazza1234Graduate10

I have a natural advantage in these matters - I am 70 years old and I don't give a F*** :)

Curlygurly2 profile image
Curlygurly2Graduate10

I'm with Tomas, I'd say something along the lines if, "I saw a lovely bird/tree/view or what ever when I was on my run this morning.

MarkyD profile image
MarkyDGraduate10

What happens in lycra, stays in lycra :-)

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply toMarkyD

I was about to say that I don't wear lycra and then realised, yeah, I do; I love my running tights - seriously the most comfy clothing i have ever owned. I would totally die if one of my friends saw me wearing them though!

Nobbywatts profile image
Nobbywatts

Over the 4 years since I've been "doing it" I've gone down the self-deprecating route:

"I do a bit of running" or "I know I don't look like a runner, but I quite enjoy it" or "I did a 5k charity run at the weekend, I was very slow" etc. My non-running friends are always very impressed. But I do find that some of my friends who DO run will keep telling me about their accomplishments which are always more impressive than mine and which I secretly find very annoying. Actually, thinking about it, there's only 3 that do that (all women). The others are all very supportive. That's why I like this forum! ❀️

Sweatyfaced profile image
SweatyfacedGraduate10β€’ in reply toNobbywatts

I would never admit to the runners that I know that I run!!! Crikey! They all do marathons and triathlons and scary things. I think I am happy with up to 10k but definitely no more and definitely not racing in earnest in public!

iamarunner profile image
iamarunner

i started runnning with my friend and we didn't tell anyone. We didn't know how long we would do it for so was easier not to telll. By mistake i messaged one of our friends instead of my running partner, asking if she was running that day. Well the cat was out of the bag and slowed started telling people. Most of my family didn't know until I graduated and then put it on the family WhatsApp group haha

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