Anyone heard from poppypug?

[davelinks]

I don't recall seeing any posts or replies from pops in about 3 weeks? Hope she's OK..maybe after her half marathon she's decided to carry on running around the world!😁

[poppypug Graduate10]

Hi Dave

Thank you so much for your concern. I have been thinking of posting an update for the last week or so , just to explain my absence from the board .

I am going through a hard time at the moment . Shortly after my HM , I received a call from my sister in Leeds regarding my Mam. She has been in a nursing home for the past three and a half years due to suffering a number of falls at home and suffering from mild dementia. The staff there had noticed that she had been off her food for a day or so , and was sleeping a lot and didn't want to get up , so called my sister to let her know that she was unwell and was deteriorating . We were told to expect the worst

I have been to Leeds on and off over the past 3 weeks. She is comfortable and looks peaceful and is in the care of the Palliative Care team of District Nurses, who visit her every day and take care of everything . We didn't want her to go into hospital . We thought that if it was the end, we wanted it to be in surroundings what she is used to and not in a strange hospital ward with people around her that she didn't know. We have been so lucky with the nursing home. The staff there are so kind and caring towards her , it is such a comfort to know that she is in good hands. She is mainly sleeping now, she wakes up briefly occasionally , and squeezes our hands, she knows we are there .

I had to come back to Manchester for a while as I caught a really bad cold and I was terrified of passing it onto her. I am over the worst of it now so will be going back over there in a couple of days . We have just got to take it day by day now. She looks very comfortable and peaceful and not in any visible signs of pain or distress, and that is a comfort to us.

Thank you so much for your concern. I hope you and Sue are doing well and that she is recovering from her recent operation .

Take care

Love

Pops xxx

[Bluebirdrunner Graduate10 in reply to poppypug]

Oh Pops.xxx Thinking of you at this difficult time.

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to Bluebirdrunner]

Thank you so much Jan, it is a very difficult time . I think because they have always been there , its really hard to imagine life without them, you just think they will be there forever don't you , if you see what I mean xxx

She is such a fighter though. Shes 85 , shes recovered from a broken leg, a broken shoulder and an aneuriysm. Theres nowt to her though, shes such a tiny little thing, but shes got the heart of a lioness ! Very tough lady xxx

[Fitfor60 in reply to poppypug]

So sorry to hear about your mum Pops. It's a difficult time for all the family. It sounds that she is being well looked after by lovely staff. Thinking of you at this sad time

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to Fitfor60]

Thank you so much xxx. We are so lucky that we found such a lovely home for her as you hear a few horror stories about some places

The staff there are incredibly kind and caring , they have really looked after her xxx

[Fitfor60 in reply to poppypug]

Xx

[givman in reply to poppypug]

Popps

Thinking of you

Take care

Graxxxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to givman]

Thank you so much Gra xxx

[givman in reply to poppypug]

Popp

No probs

Did abbey dash by the way!

Got wet through though!!

Graxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to givman]

Ah, I didn't do it in the end Gra. I ended up with a really bad cold and sore throat, so I ended up dropping out . I ended up walking a 5k Poppy Run just to get some fresh air .

What did you think of it ? I like it, its pretty flat isn't it ? . It rained last year too ! xxx

[givman in reply to poppypug]

It was brill ! Loved it and will do it next year!😃

Graxx

[givman in reply to poppypug]

Pops

Have just been down to my old running club to nite cos I've not been a member for years!

Did an 8 mile run but ended up doing the last 4 on my own! Lol

Forgot how fit I used to be lol!!

Gra😔😔xxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to givman]

Ah don't worry Gra, you can still give a few of the young 'uns a run for their money

8 miles is brilliant , Well done ! xxx

[givman in reply to poppypug]

Pops

Thank you!!

I'll feel it tomorrow though lol!!

Graxxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to givman]

Ah its nice though isn't it ? xxx

[givman in reply to poppypug]

Dear pops

Hope you ok

Am walking a little stiff today!!

Graxx

[davelinks Graduate10 in reply to givman]

What, walking like John Wayne Gra?😁

[givman in reply to davelinks]

Yes Dave

!! Lol

Gra

[McFitty]

Pops, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. Such a blessing that you know she is safe and happy and in kind hands where she is though. Thinking of you xxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to McFitty]

Ah thank you so much xxx

We are just taking it day by day now , and trying not to think too much about the future , it is just so sad . My poor little Mam, she is so brave , bless her heart xxx

[Madge50 Graduate10 in reply to poppypug]

Hi pops, I did notice your absence, but didn't want to put up a post, just in case.........thanks to Dave for finding you, and much that I am so sorry to hear of your news, I'm glad you are there.

Hugs 🤗

Mx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to Madge50]

Thank you so much Madge xxx

I am going over to see her tomorrow now I have got shut of this lurgy .xxx

[Millsie-J]

So sorry to hear this Pops. Its a tough world when we are dealing with such family health issues. Its great you are there for your mum.

Remember you need to also look after yourself xxxxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to Millsie-J]

Thank you so much Jacs, yes it is a very stressful time, and it does take it out of you for sure xxx

[ancientrunner Graduate10]

Thinking of you Pops. Xxxxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to ancientrunner]

Thank you so much Linda xxx

[useitorloseit]

I was worried about you too, so it's good to hear you're ok, even if things are not great.

As you know, I had a situation with my dad two years ago which meant I was spending a lot of time on the road and staying with my parents. It was very stressful. Things have calmed down up there, he didn't die, but he is slowly killing my poor mum who, at 82, is his full time carer. Like your mum, she's disappearing in front of us. She says she eats enough, but she must weigh about 6.5 stone in her undies. Anyway, she's generally in good spirits (Lord knows now) and I get up there as often as I can.

Keep strong, Popster, we're all here for you xxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to useitorloseit]

Thank you so much Sue xxx

I know you have probably looked into this, but is there anyway your parents would allow carers to come in to the house ? We had them for my Dad before he got really ill. I know its not ideal, but maybe they would take a bit of pressure off your Mum. Or does she insist that she is fine doing it on her own ? It is so difficult isn't it ?

My Dad had to go into a Nursing home that specialized in dementia in the end as he had vascular dementia and couldn't sit or stand unaided. We then got carers for my Mam at home . It didn't really work as she wouldn't let them dress her or wash her and when they made her a sandwich she would tell them she would " have it later " She would then end up giving it to the dog !

She was a very heavy smoker then and we were terrified she would burn the house down with her in it. She then suffered a fall and from there she went into the Home she is in now. I think if she had remained at home , we would've lost her years ago, as it just wasn't safe for her.

She has lost lots of weight in the last 3 weeks. Although they are able to feed her soup and milkshakes through a straw in a beaker.

It is all so very sad .... xxx

[useitorloseit in reply to poppypug]

Actually, we do have carers come in in the morning to get dad washed and dressed. M&D keep telling my sister and I that they don't want or need them, but we are reassured by just knowing that someone is going in and checking on them once a day - if they weren't getting the attendance allowance from the government though they wouldn't agree to it. We keep telling them it's not costing them anything, but like most war babies, even though they are relatively well off, they don't want to spend any money for a bit of comfort! Fortunately they also have wonderful neighbours.

Unfortunately, as dad is so unpleasant most of the time, my mum can't (won't) invite anyone round to keep her company, and she won't consider getting carers to look after dad while she goes to the shops or hairdressers or anything like that as she's too embarrassed by his behaviour (caused by dementia and rather too much whisky, which she happily lets him have these days as he gets sleepy and disappears off to bed by about 4.30 so she can get some peace and quiet in the evening). Oh dear, isn't it awful what happens when our folks get old. A friend recently confided to me that she felt very fortunate to have lost her parents relatively young and quickly (heart attacks and instant deaths both) so that she (and they) didn't have to go through all of this.

I hope your mum is now comfortable and, if her time comes, that she can have a peaceful and dignified end. That's all we really want for ourselves and our loved ones, isn't it? I can't imagine not having my mum. She's always the person I call when I need anything - advice, recipes, a friendly ear ...

Keep yer pecker up xx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to useitorloseit]

Yes it is awful Sue xxxx Its isn't as if its going to have a happy ending too either

Dementia is just so very cruel isn't it ? It just robs a person of their personality and leaves just a shell. Your poor Mum, not able to go out and have a break, its affects the whole family doesn't it ? Mam's isn't too bad, it just makes her ask the same questions over and over again, when shes responsive that is. She does get confused and thinks my Sister is her Mam and asks if she is married .

Mam got awarded extra funding as she is classed as nearing " end of life " so all her fees , accomodation etc are paid for by the NHS , rather than it coming out of her pension and Attendance Allowance .She has been given a new bed, that adjusts at the head and feet and has one of those air mattresses , she looks very comfy and toasty in it. Plus she doesn't appear to be in any pain or distress .

Weve just got to be strong haven't we and be there for them xxx

[Millsie-J in reply to poppypug]

Pops that sounds exactly the experience we have had with my husbands mum. She has been in a specialised dementia care home for two years now. The staff there are absolutely brilliant. Your mums carers will be really kind to your mum, in our experience residents are treated as family members xxxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to Millsie-J]

Ah I'm so glad your Mum in Law is being well looked after . Its a great comfort isn't it ? xxx

[davelinks Graduate10]

Sorry to hear about your mum pops.. I thought something was up but held off posting about you, but thought I'd say something as the silence was so unusual from such a prolific poster as yourself..

My mum had to go into a care home when she had a fall and stroke at 83, it was a brilliant place and was looked after there for about 3 years. She had dementia come on before the stroke as about a month before the stroke we noticed she would ask about something we had been talking about just 5mins before, and was a tad blank in her way, but I didn't think much of it, and put it down to aging, don't think there was much we could do anyway, maybe got her to a doctor earlier, but we had no thoughts on that.. so, she remained in the care home which I visited often as I could but it was 120 miles away from my home.

Dementia is very strange illness, as I would quietly talk in her ear about our past times, although she mainly remained silent I whispered in her ear mum you don't talk to me as often as you used to, and she suddenly shouted out, well! I can do if you want me to! I was taken aback! I loved it! and said yes! do! But, she just fell silent again. It was like she was being prevented due to the damage done.. I could go on talking about how I would try and contact mum and the response I got back while holding her hand in the final days, but will have us all in tears, so will now stop!

Sue is doing fine, has been taking a while getting the anaesthetic out of her system, but we have been out walking and she has no problem on a 6k walk now..

Pops, love & cherish your mum as I know you always have..😊

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to davelinks]

Thank you so much Dave and I am pleased to read that Sue is doing okay and well on the mend xxx

After my Dad passed away, Mam just went further and further downhill. She wouldn't eat or go to bed , even though we moved her bed downstairs, she just used to sit at the kitchen table most of the night smoking . We had carers going in four times a day , but she didn't take any notice of them whatsoever and a few times she ordered them out of the house !

After a fall, she went into the home she is in now and the difference was just amazing . She has been so happy there , she loved to sit in the garden in the summer and the staff used to take time to sit and chat to her and she was very friendly with some of the other residents. We have been so lucky.

She is sleeping most of the time and waking briefly . Somedays she knows who we are and somedays she doesn't respond at all

Its so lovely to remember all the happy times we had together though and all the laughs . I consider myself so lucky that I had such happy and loving times with them both xxx

[AnneDroid Graduate10]

Oh Poppy. Love and prayers xx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to AnneDroid]

Thank you so much Anne, that is really kind of you xxx

[Zev1963]

Sorry to hear that your mum is unwell Poppypug. I think your decision to keep your mum at the care home where she is in familiar suroundings is the right one. If she's not in pain, and she sleeps quite a lot, then if it is near the end for her then it sounds like one of the better ways to go. Gently, without too much discomfort, and with familiar and loved people passing, none of us can hope for better than that. For you it must be stressful and tiring, I hope you are able to have some nice moments with your mun in her last days. For sure you will have great memories of her during your future runs. My dad died over 16 years ago, but I still find myself wondering what would dad have thought of this, or that. For you, your parents will always be alive in your memories. Best wishes.

[poppypug Graduate10]

Thank you so much Phil , this is so kind xxxx

Yes, we did think that keeping her in the home in her own room would be less stressful for her . We were both worried about her going into hospital as they are just so short of beds and the staff are just rushed off their feet ( I am not criticizing the NHS in any way ) that she would be so uncomfortable and probably very frightened as she wouldn't recognize her surroundings or anything . The Palliative District Nurses Team are lovely, they come and visit her every day and are constantly monitoring her and along with the staff at the home , we are happy that she is in the best hands possible.

Thank you so much , your words have brought such comfort for me xxx

[AndyD Graduate10]

My thoughts and best wished are with you at this difficult time. xxx

[poppypug Graduate10]

Thank you so much Andy xxx

[aliboo70 Graduate10]

Big hugs poppy, hope you get on ok with your return to see your lovely mum, she sounds such a character. Keep strong and be there for her is all you can do. I still feel like i haven't lost my mum, its like shes still around somehow , and alive in us too, in the way we are, as so much of that comes from our mums ( my worrying and faffing especially!) . You are doing the best for her and she knows that. Talk soon love Ali xxx

[OldWheezer]

Thinking of you Pops. xxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to OldWheezer]

Thank you so much Phil, that is so kind of you xxx

I am going to see her tomorrow and really looking forward to it. It will be so good to sit and just hold her again xxx

[OldWheezer in reply to poppypug]

Treasure these moments. Be strong.

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to OldWheezer]

Thankyou, yes I will xxx

[poppypug Graduate10]

Thank you so much Ali, it must be such a comfort for you feeling that your Mum is still around, and yes she does live on in your heart and always will xxx

I am so looking forward to seeing Mam again tomorrow.

Night , Night speak soon xxx

[nhs2015 Graduate10]

🌺

[PippiRuns]

Oh poppypug , I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I am sure the time you have together now will forever stay in your heart.

I am grateful to still have my parents and that they are both happy and healthy. I am going to remember to appreciate that a bit more and show them how much they mean to me ♥️

[poppypug Graduate10]

Thankyou so much Iben, yes I will cherish the time we spend together now xxx

[Simmypie Graduate10]

xxx

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to Simmypie]

xxx

[Hidden]

Oh dear ! What a difficult time for you. Sending good wishes...

[poppypug Graduate10 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much Hen xxx