Do you visit......: Do you find it... - Bereavement Care ...

Bereavement Care & Share

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Do you visit......

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
9 Replies

Do you find it helpful visiting the resting place of your loved one?

I do, I find it calming somehow, and I always feel better apart from the leaving part, that's still difficult.

Chloe

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chloe40 profile image
chloe40
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9 Replies
Greyone profile image
Greyone

Hi Chloe40

On this strange winterlike day when I am bombarded with sun and rain. It seems to reflect my life.

When mum died over 5 years ago, i used to visit every month. After a few years, i tried every season and used to visit the baby's corner and the Commonwealth war graves (CWG). That allowed me to linger a little longer. I even discovered the Remembrance Day service held for the CWG. Maybe other here would benefit from this service if it exists on their area?

At the moment i visit when the seasons change. I also find the crematorium too far to walk both ways so I make an event of it rather than a quick visit.

I don't think I need or would like to go too often now because I need something in my life to push out all that old grief I kept within. But ya know. What to do after bereavement is something i may look into one day because i think many of us are missing something.

P.S - I dont do the email notifications for new posts because I'm a member of quite a few but i do promise top pop in regular now.

P.P.S - Several years ago you mentioned creativity in one of your posts so please stand by over the weekend.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Greyone

Well hello Greyone

How lovely to hear from you, you have been missed.

I agree, as time goes by it may not be practical for many reasons to visit weekly, initially, many of us do and I remember your descriptions very well!

Glad to know all is well with you and I certainly look forward to more posts.

Chloe

Caza profile image
Caza

I have tried to get comfort from visiting the crematorium. I have a bench in memory of my daughter it is placed between my mum & sister. In all honesty I don’t get any comfort from visiting just pain. I take flowers often but leave in tears. Christmas is the worst when I take miniature trees for them all & heartfelt words on cards. It just doesn’t sit well with me that all of them loved Christmas & yet here they are. My daughter & sister should’ve had many more Christmas’s. & even my mum who died aged 71.

I have to say that the crematorium is beautifully well kept & the staff so friendly. The head gardener, who we got talking to, now leaves flowers in my daughters bench. Very thoughtful

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Oh Caza

I can't imagine the distress and physical pain you must be experiencing and not only at Christmas either<3

I read your post and my goodness, I could 'feel' the heartbreak you're suffering.

Thank goodness their are thoughtful people in this world. I hope one day you'll feel able to sit on your bench and be able to enjoy it, knowing your daughter is being cared for by your dear Mum and sister <3

Chloe

Celestialbird profile image
Celestialbird

I visit cemeteries often as I find them peaceful and calming to me. Unfortunately I live away from my dad’s grave, and everyone else has been cremated.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

always makes me feel better maybe not at first mind you and I always say a little prayer for everyone on the way out.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to kenster1

Kenny kenster1 How are you?

It's seem ages since we heard from you, I do hope all is well.

I'm pleased it helps Kenny, you're such a regular visitor, you put me to shame <3

Chloe

Lperica10 profile image
Lperica10

my dad was cremated and I have some and my sister has the main one. I drove by my dads old house the other day that’s comforting I don’t do it often but the other thing that helps is places he liked that is comforting to me. Parks, restaurants, etc

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Lperica10

Yes, I think that's comforting too, especially visiting places they enjoyed so much <3

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