so a bit of brief history
Have been caring for my grandma for years, doctors, hopsital appointments, shopping etc
After christmas she had a suspected blocked bowel. Tried to treat at home with gp and 111 input. New years eve got rushed to himchingbrooke hospital. Turned out her appendix had burst and she needed surgery, at 88 she went into surgery on the 1st jan. She made it thru and we had many calls to the hospital as she was deteriorating. Several times she pulled round.
We decided as a close family to have her discharged for her to come home as a trial.
We did this for 2 weeks (istarted a new job on jan 4th so wasnt great but i could work from home so i could help)
We had several more ups and downs. Then she wasnt passing urine, (she was under palliative care but nothing from the hospital to help, carers 4x a day) they tried numerous times to recatherise her but nothing helped. She ended up back in hospital PCH.
NO CONTACT from her consultant there until o said i want to speak with someone. Monday 14th feb we were called in, she had gone downhill so fast antibiotics were not working. At 4pm myself and her youngest son agreed to keep her comfortable and withdraw treatment, her consultant agreed.
Her closest family were with her from 2pm to 8pm. As a family we agreed to leave her in their care as we knew she would hold on if we stayed. As i got into bed on Feb 14th at 9.45 the phone rang and i instantly knew she had gone.
She wasy rock, my world, i would do anything for her. My heart is broken. I dont know how to move forwards... everything i do reminds me of her.
I have such special memories of things we did together and now being told a friend that she had died in her sleep 2 weeks ago is harder than ever. I know she wouldnt want me to be like this but some days are worse than others.
I miss her so much. Its a heartache that never leaves me. 💔💔💜💜
#bereavement #grief #heartache #loss
Grief and the New Widow
Grief is a solitary journey