I’m coming up to the first anniversary of the death of my loved one. I’m having a hard time with it. Some days I feel responsible, most days I miss her painfully, and some days I think about ‘what if’. She wasn’t blood but she was family. She was developmentally disabled and I was her legal guardian so I feel like the choices I made for her weigh so heavily on me. She passed of cancer. There were so many variables to her life and death that logically I think I made the right choices, but they weren’t what I wanted. If I made the choices differently she may be here. She wouldn’t be the woman I knew but she’d be here. It would have been selfish, but I miss her so much. No one I know has been anywhere near this situation so I have no one to relate to. So in addition to missing her, it’s lonely. Actual bereavement groups have a cost or are poorly run. I’m not really sure who I can talk to.