It was almost a year ago my sister passed. May is already hard for me with Mother’s Day as a reminder that I lost my mom 23 years ago.
I’m having daily panic attacks and My anxiety is back with vengeance.
This sucks. I guess it’s normal. But this SUCKKS. 😢😢
So sorry you’re feeling so upset, it’s such a difficult time all these Anniversaries. Maybe you could do something special? maybe go to a place you all loved or planting a shrub or flowers to commemorate them.
We’re here for you Theloudone
Xx
Thank you- I’m traveling to Turks and Caicos and I am bringing a small portion of her ashes to spread. She loves traveling. It’s hard for me to be handling the ashes but Im going to do it for her
I hear ya... I'm coming up on a year of my sister passing away too. June 5th. Anniversaries will come and go, but try to focus on celebrating what love, memories and cherished treasures learned along the way instead of merely focusing on the loss. I wish death and dying weren't a part of living, but it is. In fact, I'm a firm believer that God never intended for us to live in a world of experiencing death, it's not His original plan.
You are right, it really does suck to live each day moving forward, picking one foot up and moving ahead without our loved ones. It's so wonderful that you are traveling to a special place that meant so much to her and spreading her ashes. It's a healthy part of grieving is to find ways to let go a little more each day to be able to move forward. It's what our loved ones would want us to have is peace and moving ahead in a healthy way. I pray you find peace my friend. Separation is not easy.
Sending you love and light 💖 April into May is an awful time for me, I lost a lovely friend, then a week later my mother (which was a much more difficult relationship) then my father had already died on my mother's birthday; May 9th, well that's the day they switched the machines off, we really lost him May 8th...
I developed generalised anxiety and panic attacks too some months after losing Cat and my mother... personally I saw it as my body and brain trying to tell me I needed to take better care of myself and try to work through the very confused emotions. There was a lot of anger at my mother, a. For intruding on what should have been time to grieve for my friend who loved me so unconditionally and b. For not trying hard enough to be a better mother to me, my brother, a grandmother to my brothers kids, or even just realising what blessings she had had and being a better human. There was a lot of fear at having watched my lovely Cat fade away and basically starve to death and losing all her dignity into the bargain. So very, very sad. I vowed then to do all I can to never become sick and never to become so weak that my body is a prisoner to my still beating heart... I'd rather die of a heart attack trying to reach the top of a hill than waste away at the bottom...
Normal? I don't know what is "normal" anymore, the spectrums are just too wide but it's certainly valid and it's happening to you so it's very real and very hard.
Do what you can to try and lessen the symptoms. I find nature is a great panacea, I will literally hug a tree at times which gives me a great feeling of grounding, of being one with the planet consciousness. The tree has survived so much more than I already, maybe somehow it can give me a little of its strength to keep on keeping on...
I'm not a hippy, honest, and I'm not totally crazy (there's that spectrum again!) Find what works for you to bring some peace and comfort. 💫
god bless your dearest sister and mum up in heaven I`m sure your dearest sister was very much to you even in death we can still show special they really where.
Still grieving after 10 years
5 years since my dad passed 
