Hi Everyone,
My husband has been gone coming up on 1 year now.... I've never felt so alone in my life! I want to do things, to get out and meet people but I feel paralyzed at the thought (if that makes any sense). I'm so afraid of rejection that loneliness seems like it might be better. But it's awful! I still cry and want someone to talk to so bad. I feel like I'm going to be alone the rest of my life. I'm afraid and there's no one there.
Hi Cpearl
Really sorry you're feeling so lonely.
One year seems like a along time doesn't it, but your emotions are still raw from the loss of your husband.
Many of us have found that volunteering is the quickest way to make new friends and it will give you the opportunity to have something to look forward to each week. You can join groups online too, or perhaps join a gym/pilates, or evening class, anything that will bring different people into your life. You could also join a local library, you'll find out other ways of meeting local people.
Sending support
Chloe <3
Thank you for responding. Every time I think of going to a group or event I freeze up and decide not to. I want to but just can't seem to get myself to follow through. My husband made me feel like I was never good enough. I still feel that way.
You are good enough Cpearl more than good enough, and don't let anyone else ever make you feel that way again !
All you need is confidence, take one step at a time, find something that interests you and I'll support you through this myself, please message me when you have found something, now is the beginning of the rest of your life <3
A year, really isn’t a long time at all & I’m not at all surprised that your still crying I’d say that’s pretty normal.
I’ve never lost a husband but a very close friend of mine has. He died of cancer way too soon. She was caught up in grief for a very long time. Even though she had lots of friends and family she felt very much alone. She got herself a part time job for awhile that got her out of the house & took her abroad for a few months (very brave & completely out of her comfort zone). When she came back she decided that life was too short & she needed to live it. It wasn’t easy for her & she’s a changed person but she’s now beginning to enjoy life again she even has a boyfriend.
It all takes time & determination.
Dear Cpearl,I'm so sorry you are feeling so lonely.There are many people out there that feel the same.In my area we have U3A groups,chatty cafe's and wellbeing walks.The local library or GP surgery should have details .As the weather hopefully improves maybe you will feel like going out more.I know it's hard.Sending love.
I know your pain and fears, your loss. My husband died the day after his 47th birthday and that’ll be 11 years ago this July. I’ve learned to live with the loss and pain and the loneliness isn’t as overbearing as it was. I choose not to go out other than work or with my daughter and grandson, they come round for short visits every couple weeks and grandson stays over. I like being alone with my memories but miss him a lot. He was an avid news follower, at home and abroad. He’s missed covid and conflicts, all sorts of stuff he’d be so interested in and we say ‘what would dad have made of that?’ with a smile, knowing what he’d be saying. It’s taken many years to reach this point. A year still feels like yesterday, don’t expect too much of yourself. They’re not called our other half for nothing, you just don’t feel complete anymore. It’ll take time. Be kind to yourself. It will get easier. Here 24/7. Take care 🦊xx
Thank you for understanding. It is like yesterday he left and it has felt like a part of me is gone.
Awwww cpearl.my heart goes out to you.a year is still very very early days and still so raw.i never married but have lost my mum and sister and close freinds.and only last week my beloved cat.your emotions will up and down.couple of years ago I took up voluntary work at hospital seeing patients which I find very rewarding. I try and get out as much as I can as I feel so lonely indoors. Maybe you could look into something like that ? I'm always popping on here so please chat when you are feeling so lost.
It helps me.so many kind lovely people on here.
Seeing you (((( hugs))))(
Hello there, I do so understand how you feel , it's awful loosing that special one .... . My love died in a road accident almost 6 years ago , nothing has
really helped.
I am not local to this part of England and have been made to feel like a
stranger in several monthly meetings. It makes no difference how much the
membership costs.
So I went to friends in various parts of the country with telephone in hand .
Every evening I chat with one or another, and it's made a difference.
To add insult to injury I have a chest condition, with a cough. My breathing causes problems getting oxygen to my legs, so I have invested in a fully automatic scooter and car hoist. Had them both about 6 months ago ,but not
had the courage to use alone. I do walk but not long distances .
Around Morrisons I lean on a trolley........ Which works well.
Seeing all the coach company adverts I booked a couple of day trips starting
in June. Had a call from the coach people that they didn't think it was suitable trips for me , so I have cancelled all....the reason although not given,
Is that I am on my own. Don't quite know what they think I am capable of doing or not doing . The only thing I require is my scooter taken on and off the coach. I drive so could take visitor to the coast.
But that tends to take the shine off my day trips to stange parts.
My family are long distances , no one near by .
I am 80 at the end of the year which is another problem........
Folk tend to think you are gar gar .....
I would dearly love togo back to Cunard and a cruise , but their
solo fair is so prehibitive that I am back to the drawing board
as they say.
Any other ideas would we welcome.
Chin Up sunny days are not far away.
Jo. 😊
Go slow pain patience required x
I feel less alone just seeing so many of us share the same feelings. As Tiny Tim said 'God bless us everyone.'
In Loving Memory Of Gingervitis 
Difficult times when all alone.
People think I am better
Does anyone feel like your grieving alone.
Will it ever be the same? 