Birthday coming up

[LilyAnnepuppy]

My daughter died in January of 2021. So it’s only been two years. Her birthday is March 10th. But so is my husband’s. He’ll be 75.

I have mixed emotions about the day. On one hand I want to celebrate his day. But on the other hand, I will grieve and wish the day wouldn’t come.

I know I’ll be able to do both. But I just thought I’d reach out and share my dilemma.

[Nathalie99]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter, LilyAnnepuppy.

It is devastating and it is very difficult to separate different events when they happen at the same time. I have tried to separate the good from the bad (a loss) and it hasn't been easy, it was hard to allow myself to feel the positive emotions from something important happening in my life while I also suffered a loss.

I did that and I guess I try to keep those events two separate things. At times it is very hard and support, at that time especially, really helped a great deal.

Maybe having something planned for your daughter earlier could help with having another day to celebrate your husband's birthday...

[optimismrus]

Nathalie99 gave good advice. I'm so sorry you lost your daughter, I lost mine, too when she was 25... many years ago. Over time I learned to be thankful when something or someone reminded me of her. I think of it as a time to remember how grateful I am she was mine. Someday, you will too, I hope. Thank you for sharing your pain. You are strong and wise and you'll find a way to celebrate your husband's milestone bday. Best wishes to you 🥰

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to optimismrus]

Thank you @optimisrus

What truly lovely words of support <3

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to optimismrus]

Thank you.

[Caza in reply to optimismrus]

lovely positive words.

[kenster1 Volunteer]

when Christmas comes first thing I do is go down the graveyard pay my respects to my loved ones then spend the rest of the day with my family maybe something similar could help you on that day as well.

[Starrlight]

❤️

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you, Star.

[Starrlight in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

You’re welcome and ✨Healing✨ to you

[Caza]

it’s so hard isn’t it. My daughter’s funeral was just 4 days before my birthday. Still I hate being given flowers on my birthday.

How is your husband feeling? What would he like to do? For me my daughters birth was a brilliant day so I try to remember the good times & we have her favourite food & cake & let off balloons.

I always have a cry on my own at the end of the day, wishing things were different.

This year my husband was really poorly so her birthday was sidelined I didn’t like that at all.

I think what Kenny said makes sense, try & do both.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Caza]

Yes I can do both. Celebrate him and honor her.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

54

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you. You’re right. This year is better than last year.

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hope your ok today LAP thinking of you.